Before today, I was certain of a few things. 1) Pennywise could never make me ejaculate. And B) The i slipped a stiffy-uh into my mother-uh videos would have been a thing of the past in 2018. Batting 0% feelsbadman.gif
Mia Khalifa has been called a lot of things: Infamous, Disgraceful, Roblox Tit Jobber... but I prefer the term visionary. aka originator of the nerdgasm.
When you're moist enough to be lubed under water, and have more lung capacity than a Navy Seal - you should be recognized for your natural born gifts. Call Emma Stone & tell there's been a recount for that Oscar Award.
Cute Girls + Public Exploration: It's a combo 2nd only to Souplantation and Charmin Ultra Soft. Add the rush of getting caught busting one out next to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and you got wife material my friend.
Antonio does in 1 minute what takes the customer service line at Walmart an entire afternoon to do: Completely crushes and eradicate a white girl's spirit. Don't get swindled by the thumbnail, you have not seen this version.
The downside of adopting an all-kale diet? Every uterus in a 500 mile radius is using your ass to springboard her next Instagram post to buzzfeed's front page. And don't even get me started on the leaking bowel syndrome...
The most erotic thing I've seen since the time my 19 y/o housekeeper cried 'no es bueno' after happening upon my unflushed shitter. Day before was Olive Garden night, fuckin Tour Of Italy. To quote Lil Wayne - I made it rain.
[tip: look in the second row for link] Kinda counterproductive to be hung like a zoo animal, yet never able to find a girl that can handle 50% of your moose leg. Perhaps it's that time to trade Tinder for farmersonly.com?
I was spaghetti soft until the camera panned 12 inches south. Fucking hell, this chick is 1 injection of anesthesia away from experimental cornhole surgery & she's rippin one out like the lifeboats were deployed. I'm in love?
Her hip-to-waist ratio is insane. But mother of fuckin' Iggy Pop... not even a Chinese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Stalone from that face. Impressive body tho.... I dub thee '#1 girl I'd be sodomized in the dark by
[tip: scroll to bottom of page for link] You know that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of a vagina from the rusty turntable? Well, her two costars just accidentally thrusted straight fucking through it. #diapers4life
LIFE LESSON #274: If your tolerance is weaker than Betty White's rectal control, stay the fuck away from the masturbatory demands of 4,000+ strangers. Last time I saw this many tears, I had to pay the hooker double.
Newbie tries to escape the wrath of an erect black man by slowly inching away... but the beast refuses to relent. A suicide dive is her only salvation.
Don't let the cute face & lack of Valtrex in this video fool you: Even the hot ones make mistakes in the eternal quest for 11 seconds of Instagram fame.
Not since walking into a waffle house at 2 AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of a brown female. And just like the riot that ended that night, he has no intent of letting $39 worth of plastic surgery go to waste.
Can't imagine how many E.R. vists had to be falsified before she found the sweet spot. I respect the exploration, but the only road this fetish ultimately leads to is Dennis Rodman and strategically placed cream cheese.
