The head of a Hitachi is shaped like a doorknob. READ: not something you stick up your asshole. But when you have Brazilian butt implants and a $11 spray-on tan, a prolapse isn't a concern. It's destiny.
Choke her, slap her, sodomize her, lace her Tampax Pearl with liberal amounts of Dave's Gourmet Hurtin' Habanero Sauce. There's all sorts of fun ways to a dominate a woman. PROTIP: this isn't one of em.
Sociopath games a POF.com soft 6 with a night of miniature golf & Olive Garden, only to slip 27,000 mg's of Ex-Lax into her coveted Tour of Italy. The end result? A record defining, first ever "Auto-Spacedock".
Deadbeat mom zones out the screams of her special-needs son so that she can focus on far more important matters, I.E. giving some random a handjob (and a dismal one at that). Mediocre parent, mediocre slut.
2 A.M. booty call goes from sensuous to fuck my life as DeAndre DeDouche repeatedly slides his butterfinger into no-mans-land: her acne-ridden, possibly-virgin asshole. She cries. He laughs. I bookmark.
Fresh out of highschool and new to the slut scene, this little brat whines herself straight into unemployment after deciding she cant/wont do BJ's. No worries you beautiful bitch, I gotcha covered: careers.walmart.com
Her pussy is perma-gaped and that b-hole contains more roids than Sylvester Stallone's medicine cabinet, but when she starts cumming @ the 1.47 mark, her genitals do the Macarena and it's fucking beautiful.
Much like Adele after mistakenly ingesting a reduced fat potato chip, you can quite literally see fear in this girl's eyes. Emphasis @ 10.40 mark with the commencement of non-lubricated, deer-in-headlights anal. More HERE.
She's built like Despicable Me, and dude's shorter than the closet twink from Hunger Games. It's a sexual miscombination, and it's one that goes from moderately bad to fucking ewwwww! very quickly. (1 min. mark)
This girl is special. Her face says "I shop at Trader Joes and dance to Harry Potter-inspired techno music" but from the neck down she has the body of a pornstar. Oh.. and she masturbates in front of mom. #marryme.
Some of these clips suck. Others will generate increased blood flow to your nether regions. Dispense mom's Cherry-Almond Jergens moisturizer accordingly.
Vigorous ass-dildoing churns an unforeseen dookie into mashed pooptatoes, as her entire chatroom watches in disgust. She ends up totally mortified. I end up totally erect. Fun starts @ .45 mark. MORE VIDEOS HERE.
Chuck & Buck combine penile forces and quite literally fuck the basic motor function out of this washed up skank biscuit. The mere suggestion of resuming intercourse frightens her (2.50 mark). #GrabTheJergens
Pretty hot, amiright? Too bad she's no amateur. This is pornstar Jessie Rogers. Never heard of her? Lemme put it this way. That vadge has serviced more cocks than a public urinal in New Delhi. #buzzkill.
The face of a ladyboy, tummy of Tara Reid, and a
rear-end that only a visually impaired African American could love. Okay, that was mean. I do look forward to seeing you in the XXX remake of Elephant Man though.
Genius idea, poor execution. People want to see a petite Hispanic with a greasy asshole ride that bike through a swap meet. Not Ned Flanders in Fuckstick, Tennessee. Now apologize to your Walmart denim.
$4 and a zip folder of sexually suggestive photos of House M.D. says this dude gets recognized. Sorry friend, the glory days of you wearing your daughters underwear as a Mexican wrestling mask are over.
and by 'gangbang' I mean one sexually inept man losing his virginity while Carlos Mencia's 72 cousins spectate. The only thing missing is a Mariachi band and one token black guy repeatedly screaming "worldstar".
Kinda funny how she's griping about the instability of her implant. I'd be more concerned with the fact that even when it's correctly in place... it still looks like something out of an episode of Masters of Horror.
