Proficient camera angles and lighting, or a man that was actually conceived by a fucking Clydesdale? I'm sorry, I just don't have the answers behind this mystery.
After making it to the end of this zero budget shit show I'm inclined to believe it should've stayed forgotten. The full version is over an hour long and makes The Blair Witch Project look like it's part of the Scorsese catalog. I do not recommend.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your /fom? If you answered "is that Helmans?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
idk where this is, but try it in the US of A and the situation will be immediately amplified a guy 1 Michelob Ultra away from a public rampage. That's a warning. Never underestimate a man with garbage bags full of [this shit] in his basement.
Walking into a dorm room that permeates the aroma of cocoa butter and D-cell batteries only has one of two outcomes. And both of them involve inoculations.
After viewing, one must ask themselves: A 41 second tutorial on the benefits of being single, or the effects of an ever increasing usage of high fructose corn syrup in western cuisine? Both? Perhaps marriage isn't for everyone after all.
What has worse camerawork than the og Blair Witch and leaves you wondering who the fuck wants this? No it's not Cloverfield, but refunds should be issued.
When ur cum face cant be distinguished from the unfortunate soul paid to scrub porcelain at Taco Bell on Cinco de Mayo, it may be time to reevaluate your idea of eroticism. Or just watch this techno freddy fuck instead. Like I give a bullcrap.
Don't know exactly who to blame here, but judging by her mannerisms it's safe to say this happens more often than transmitting STD's at a Taylor Swift concert.
Straight out of a Twilight fan club, Slim Jim has found himself between a promise and a dream. I'm talking a cool $0 payout. Not even enough to send that haircut back to 2009 when being a furry without admitting to being a furry made it cool.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
Solid 5/10? I can sympathize. East Euro impoverish-core decor? Understandable. What I'm throwing red flags on is her ability to look like she's being sodomized by an industrial fruit juicer every time he makes contact with her clitoris. #pass
[alaska zade] Interesting girl. Apparently she's a full blown carpet bombing lesbian that decided to make sex videos with her guy friends out of boredom and curiosity. The real time documenting is pretty unique. edit:she already quit lol.
Galaxy Gas Gwendolyn seems to have compromised her last functioning brain cell with some combination of synthetic drugs and pineapple White Claws. Chances of homey swiping right in a coastal city ever again? Absolutely fuckin zero. Probably.
Quite possibly the most egregious abuse of power to ever grace my 14" Compaq Presario computer monitor. Mind you, this is coming from a man that's sat through all 73 unfiltered minutes of Edward Penishands. My voice matters.
First time my ass. She's about as much a sex tape virgin as I am a calorie counter at an all you can eat Chinese buffet. And let me tell you Jack; I've taken more than one wok outta commission once the crab rangoon starts hittin trays. Respectfully.
[Lama Grey] up at bat again. This (French?) testicle gremlin is simply way too popular to not follow up on. I mean, just look at her list of interests: "Dorama, anime, horses, video game. Walk, smoking weed. Play with cock) "chefskiss.gif
If this is happening in the walls of average American bedrooms, then The Nature Channel should start updating those sex ed videos. I didn't see a single antelope.
She surprisingly lacked the standard amount of lip filler that could inflate the tire of a corn harvester, so the authenticity stood a chance. Then Dames Jean enters the room from out of nowhere and took this one from "believable" to "autistic".
Another gaggle of beatniks that are one step closer to finding a way to fit more military equipment in their gravy cave than an aircraft carrier. Emphasis on the mini gorlock seen at the 5:45 mark. I'll never look at cave diving the same again.
