Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's tard sister on Southpark. What I really want to know is what's up with this new trend of bodily fluids being replaced with Nickelodean slime. And I want to know now.
Middle-age hit her like a sack of 80's exercise videos, and she needs cash. Bad. How can life get worse? Well, if you guessed being told to suck dick by the Dane Cook of porn directors, you just won my limited edition Power Ranger sex doll.
Never before have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such finesse. Where there's shame, he shows confidence. Where there's shock, he brings warmth. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
If only he put in as much effort into technique, as he does masking his insecurity with low-testosterone rage, we might have a video worth filling a tube sock with.
Symptom #293 you need to end the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by a speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.
and by "real" I mean the kind of on-demand tears that could snag an Emmy nomination right next to Captain Marvel. Or equally as interesting: "What I Flushed Down My Toilet Last Night" (that one was an independent documentary)
Jamming your weenus into crazy girl buttholes without consequences is about as probably as a Bernie Sanders-sponsored straight pride parade. But you have to admire her dedication. Thoughts? Hit it? Or hit it with a Toyota Corolla?
A night of Malibu Rum and bands that consider wind chimes an instrument can only end 1 of 2 ways. And while tits hanging off your family tree seems like a clear winner, I implore you to consider going Randy Savage on a bitch as an alternative.
big warning: not even dragging your penis through an orgy of churro-flavored hispanic hoochie will make the mental images you're about to endure go away.
Is it real? Is it staged? Nobody ever really knows in the land of modern social media. Not only that, but you can expect your curiosity of who the fuck is cheating on who to peak before the video is over. Today is a learning day.
solid proof HERE edit: Seems it was temporary. But how this girl remains sexually aroused is beyond me. Multiple 8 hour days of being molested by a Menudo cover band seems like it would dry out the sandbox pretty fucking quick, ya feel me?
Meet your new unreachable standard. Probably seen more transferable disease than a California protest crowd, yet she's still able to erect a nation of erections without trying. Don't be fooled by his lack of intensity - this is A+ tier flib flab.
The first girl may have very well ended erectile dysfunction as we know it with nothing more than eye contact. The second one instantly brought the epidemic back in full force. That's some sweet 50/50 booking, BROTHER. [original here]
Disregard the title they have. "french", "amateur" and "1st interracial threesome" are all lies. This girl was notorious for seeking black dong on plentyoffish and filming herself running the gambit of choco weiners in the mid-2000's. #truth
Now if only this freak put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. Kill him twice.
A number of ding dongs not normally found outside of a Twitter holiday party combine powers to set a record for Carter Cruise. But it's not the volume that matters here - it's the permanent brain damage. You'll see what I mean lol...
Her name is "Alisonfire" but I prefer the moniker "reason I have to buy 2-ply toilet paper in bulk". Fun Fact #1: She's famous for making the world wait half a decade for wiener-on-vag action. Fun Fact #2: 173,000 of her Pornhub views are from me.
Fast Food: Some go for the convenience. Others, to test the durability of their Flushmaster 3000. But a select few request a real happy meal. #beyondmeat
That would be the one & only Hannah Hays. A girl that has managed to perfectly blend the words "fun fuck" with "3 generations of inbreeding". More of her HERE.
Apparently Chumpo thinks the worst time on Earth to go limper than wet toilet paper is worth filming. Sorry pal, you can brag about teh dollar store sluts all you want: If you can't fuck 'em, your about as useful as Charlie Sheen at a blood drive.
Some guy that considers dollar store tattoos an art form bangs the shame out of the last girl that should be on his ding donger. After the 15th time he says "look at the camera, it begins to feel more like Crazyshit video than a Pornhub video.
Olive Garden's hostess of the month unequivocally accepts defeat and calls an audible after a meager 4 mins on Labron's pocket mongoose. In other words: the end result of seeking vaginal salvation on blacksingles.com. Becky was warned.
Somehow, someway the degeneracy of clickbait titles has continued to grow. I'm not looking forward to the influx of "trans-abled cousin secretly films butt sex tape with the neighbors mailman and blackmails me with it" videos in 2020.
Interesting approach to entertainment. It's like Robot Chicken lost it's virginity to a Vietnamese midget. note: crazyshit makes this kinda compilation every update (among all their other efukt-inspired edits) and that's not just cool... it's frosty.
Not since raiding grandpa's spunk trunk have I seen amateur video with such questionably high production value. Im down tho, it's got integrity. Know who doesnt have integrity? These sorry sacks of Internet-begging token dumpsters.
And that's about 30 more than the average heterosexual male will need to reach peak yogurt arch. If there was a hall of fame for "Reasons I Have to use a Magic Eraser on my Ceiling" this would be on top. Directly underneath this clown show.
