I'm a simple man. I can only imagine the sex life of an active farmersonly.com only has one dynamic to it. And we're fucking looking at it right now. #help
Never underestimate a girl in need of clout. You will leave the situation scratching your crotch like you just left a Persian bachelor party, but the stories are priceless.
My gut tells me this is about as authentic as Joy Behar being properly medicated during business hours... but I do find her lack of fucks to give kind of endearing.
What weighs 47lbs and gets demolished by African Americans on a weekly basis? If you answered Popeye's Family Feast meal, you're only getting partial credit.
Brodude pays more attention to PajeetWarrior20x3 spamming his chatroom than he does to his girlfriend's orifices, resulting in a no-scope sneak attack of her crude oil tank. And judging by her response... there won't be a second mistake.
I mean they're technically not wrong. I was just hoping for something more along the lines of trailer park hooker dirty, not trailer park marriage dirty. #disappointed
There's something captivating about a girl willing to blindly fuck strangers. Her talents just scream "give me another 3 months and my butthole will have the girth-to-depth ratio of a guatemalan sinkhole". Clearly this is bookmark material.
And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how far into insanity social media and attention whoring has pushed society. Crazyshit.com makes these Efukt-ish videos regularly and they officially changed my life for the worse. More [HERE]
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
First time squirters, prolapse-induced climaxes and bittersweet hategasms... today's vid has more variety than a fuckin Sizzler salad bar. Best comes last, so I recommend you see this one all the way through
Not since The Mannetard have I seen such an intense level of misogyny. (this month) Unfortunately there's no followup story to this adventure... but what it lacks in explanations, it makes up for in semi-orgasmic zombie-like moaning.
No clickbait, I'm DEAD SERIOUS. Scroll to the 3:00 min mark and pretend physics still exists. Then call Tom Savini and tell him his services are no longer required.
Certainly not the first time mother nature has had enough of our shit, but it is one of the more entertaining things I've seen. Like these compilations? originals HERE
With a filename like AnalDislike.flv I can assure you this entry was mislabeled on upload. She's got sexual freedom like Miley Cyrus has prescription shampoos for her crotch & it officially raised the bar on my definition of "relationship material".
Sheldon is an expert of 2 things: Fortnite building & frying up the best meatball hot pockets this side of the prime meridian. Unfortunately neither skill will stop her from cheating with a guy that considers windchimes a musical instrument.
Ever seen a girl question the elasticity of her vagina, and her future as a NASA engineer at the same time? Fantastic. Now we have two things in common.
Going Hard in the Paint - It's the stepping stone to reliving your past life in the sorority house. Most women under the age of 40 have enough confidence in their rectal muscles to take the challenge. But this lady has a different approach...
She's drunk and/or high on discounted opiates... both of which explain why she's being tenderized like manager's special hotdog meat. Double bag it. Just in case.
Apparently semi-professional fornicators have acquired some sort of dignity? Back in my day that hotel room door would have been unlocked, opened and inviting all migrants to participate in the three-handled family grudunzle.
Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's tard sister on Southpark. What I really want to know is what's up with this new trend of bodily fluids being replaced with Nickelodean slime. And I want to know now.
Middle-age hit her like a sack of 80's exercise videos, and she needs cash. Bad. How can life get worse? Well, if you guessed being told to suck dick by the Dane Cook of porn directors, you just won my limited edition Power Ranger sex doll.
Never before have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such finesse. Where there's shame, he shows confidence. Where there's shock, he brings warmth. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
If only he put in as much effort into technique, as he does masking his insecurity with low-testosterone rage, we might have a video worth filling a tube sock with.
Symptom #293 you need to end the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by a speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.
