A no-questions asked handjob in the loading area of Bed Bath and Beyond would put the smile on any man's face... but not Carlos. Who shit in his Baja Chalupa?
I've never seen a video with Mia Malkova that made me question my erection, even when she's wearing her ass as a hat. But after edging myself through this scene...
Can't really blame her. Dude's bush looks like the top of Eddie Murphy's head circa de Beverly Hills Cop 1. If you had to go face-to-egg bag with a nut sac that requires a hairnet, you'd be squinting pretty fucking hard too.
Undoubtedly the most daring group of sex offenders this planet has ever seen. I must note though - nobody was hurt, fantasies were fulfilled and these girls got something to tweet about other than being fat. #WIN
Everybody is born with a gift. Clearly his is having the Optimus Prime of genitalia. Watch in utter amazement as nothing more than a single-handed choke hold transforms his Oscar Mayer into a portobello mushroom.
Additional chromosomes and fantastic genetics have combined forces for the greater good. How? Let's just put it this way: Boners will rise when you see her tits. Boners will (probably) deflate when you see this FACE.
How/Why this female is stimulated enough to have an orgasm is beyond my knowledge. Her sexual partners include a ventriloquist dummy hung like Patrick Ewing and whatever 25,000 Dave n Buster coupons can buy.
Here's a hotel review I'd like to see on TripAdvisor: Conveniently adjacent to highway 45, where all westbound traffic can get a clear view of your battle-fatigued piss cutter. Consider my reservation booked.
3:00AM cuckolding session goes from good idea to I think I need a gynecologist as Darius Williams the 3rd repeatedly bulldozes Becky's reproductive system. Award-winning cries of fear @ 1:30, 7:16 and 16:55.
I'll bet 30 Pesos & all 3 self-taped VHS copies of House Party 2 that she spent more time teaching her tits to twerk than studying for that GED. A moral decision that will most definitely pay off at the next ICP concert.
Sticking your dick into crazy girls without any consequences is about as probable as an Ebola outbreak in Beverly Hills... but I do admire her bravery. What do you think? Hit it, or hit it with a golf club?
An eFukt classic circa de 2005. Same story: Upon discovery of Curious Carlos, this banshee emits a war cry that would make Conan the Barbarian shit himself 40 yards away. I'm still just as confused in 480p.
Rocco and his token black friend totally put this girl through the ringer, by the end she looks like she endured a cock tsunami. There's nothing like enjoying a nice day by the lake, just hanging out with friends getting some sun and some sucky-fucky.
It's pretty horrible what women will do to be accepted and keep up with cultural beauty standards. But with that said, pretty much the entire before side can go kick rocks and the right side is welcome over for pizza at my place any time.
From moans of joy to tears of pain. It's almost a shame to watch this guy wreck that beautiful little brown eye. Although she love's it for the most part, she really just isn't ready for a cock that big to go colon pounding on her tiny frame.
She loves getting fucked in the ass + she's totally gorgeous with a banging body, but most importantly... She LOVES getting fucked in the ass. The guy just sits back with an erection of amazement and she just butt fucks herself with his cock. It's beautiful.
I'm just surprised it isn't a dash cam. Everything else is really classic Russian: cheesy windbreakers, weird haircuts, public intoxication and of course public daytime sexual assault.
He is either oblivious or a sexual predator, but busted Micheal Douglas has been exposing himself since 8th St. Fact is, after a hard day penny fucking the stock market and having cocaine fueled office meetings with escorts that take amex cards, he just doesn't give a fuck right now.
Mortimer's porn career was over before it began. It's really hard to masturbate to a bald/long black haired pale dude trying to hug and kiss a prostitute. He would be better off playing a villains lanky henchman in a horror movie.
