I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer.
Yeah okay buddy. This part time slam pig is about as much a cheater as I am an advocate for veganism. (hint: there's only 1 green in my house and it says Fruit of the Loom on it) Now call mom and let her know I finally recognized your work.
Nearly 20-years-old and still doesn't know how to speak coherently. But what she lacks in basic motor function, she makes up for in grade-A prime meats. i'm sold
Just remembering when Gabbie Carter was the Internet's most wanted. Now, the amount of early aging porn causes has come into question again. [2019] [2021 ] inb4 we witness a union that classifies rectal trauma as a benefits package?
2 things you should definitely abandon before agreeing to shoot scenes with the reigning world champion of rectal desecration prn: Beef-a-roni, and self-respect.
These full force fantasies videos are starting to get a little disturbing. And like one of the greatest voices of our generation once taught us: you never go full force.
Not since walking into an unlocked Golden Corral bathroom at closing time have I seen such dishonor for married women. And just like the rest of you all watching, I am now disgusted and have an unquenchable craving for butterfly shrimp.
It seems a 2-pack of Bud Light turns you into the Gandolf of parking lot pussy pickups... and today his teachings are all free of charge. Practice what you see here and I promise those, size-11 Tinder girls will never "LMAO" at you again.
Look, I understand setting realistic expectations for yourself in life... but maybe we can try to do better than communal ashtray next time? I believe in you.
Not exactly the most unexpected chain of events from a woman that comes less prepared for war than whoevers handicap stall I invaded at Waffle House last week. Sorry Wheels, but the janitor bucket doesn't meet my capacity standard.
TikTok Porn: These zero effort chicks are about as exciting as an audio book of Alex Jones customizing a footlong at Subway. But throw in a few paywall'd parasocial relationships and suddenly they become a legends in the making.
Not sure a gap between your eyes wide enough for New York City to charge to park inside of, is on my list of "boner material". But uhh... I'm open to new things.
uhh I'm no expert, but I think it might be time to pack it up and find a safer hobby. Like... collecting Pokemon cards, or maybe building hydrogen bombs for example.
Unfortunately I can't confirm it's authenticity. But it wouldn't be the first time someone filmed their significant other giving the ole dunkachino to a minimum wage stranger, and if 2022 has taught me anything - it will not be the last.
Dude is hung like an Idaho potato, and she's got the kind of crazy eyes that would send Steve Buscemi running. Normally this kind of inbreeding would be kept behind closed doors until a Twitter hashtag is created for it... yet here we are.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (coming 2035) - I'm not sure how this talent comes in handy. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts?
She claims this is legit, and it's the first time "meeting" this dude. Okay lady, sure. And the gangrene I got from "introducing" myself to a stripper that considers Canadian pennies a form of payment will just go away with soap and water.
An understandable request... until you hit the 2:50 mark and realize something has gone terribly wrong. I'd be a little less concerned about cornholing, and more worried about whatever safari animal got ahold of that thing before her.
