See that smile? I know that smile. That's the "I got 15 minutes to kill before Anthropologie needs me to mark up prices on the pinecone enema kits so let's make it quick" smile. The things you absorb after living in NYC for > 23 days.
All I learned from this is a 2-pack of Coors Light gives all the confidence someone needs to perform in public. And today, all that education is free. Practice what you see here & I promise those size-11 Craigslist girls will never "LMAO" at you again.
When the ass is this level of quality, ur little "iz just a prank br0" turns into "2nd degree felony assault" pretty damn fast. Thats your lesson for the day, TikTok'rs.
Speculation time: Misogynist? Eccentric fetish? The mating ritual of the Monarch Southern Californian? We may never know the answer, but one thing is certain: His verbal assault would have landed a 6-figure comedy special from HBO in 1998.
Not exactly building an impressive resume when 2 1/2 inches of Alabama's finest sends you running for the Neosporin. This might interfere with her five year plan.
Shy? Shame? These words mean about as much as shit covered lollipop in 2021; Where your OnlyFans revenue is only limited by a false sense of morality. Not sure how the zero-sex Twitch syndicate is going to follow this performance tho.
It's one thing to assume the position in public. It's another to do it during company hours just to keep your addiction going. Now, somebody invite her to a Texas Ranger's bullpen, ASAP. She could be doing a lot of good for the world.
I'm sorry but this current theme of TikTok degenerates 'pushing the limits' just isn't doing it for me (fam). Call it an old school mentality - but without even as much as a battle scar from a petting zoo exhibit, I refuse to label you as extreme.
3:10 for the moment of truth. Is dude being honest? Are those surgical gloves? Did I free throw one into the sink at Starbucks from the foul line because their one stall was closed off this morning? All these questions have the same answer.
Brag about the body count you paid for all you want bruh. If you're not turning all western vaginas into a bowl of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes, is it even worth it?
Perhaps "marriage" is the wrong goal here, as it suggests she would actually cover up and stop shilling for Reddit updoots. And that never happens. Trust me on these topics; I've been behind a Walmart parking lot on a Saturday night.
Good luck carrying that bag of wet sand you call a cornhole through customs and not getting called in for further inspection. Stretch Armstrong lookin ass - haha
Impressive technique, but it's definitely not for beginners. Chances are you'll let loose near an active bus stop and catch one of the locals in the crossfire. It's called "The Cuban Waterslide" and I'm still paying the price for it to this day.
Dare to venture deeper inside this specimen's video collection and you'll be opening the forbidden door forever. I'm talking the kind of irreparable regret felt only by someone making it to the end credits of 2020's hit film Coffee & Kareem.
This is all but guaranteed to exterminate any story you've been led to believe that everyone in the webcam community is living life on easy mode. Snap back to reality with five disasters even FEMA won't be picking up your phone calls for.
Go ahead and scroll to the 1:56 mark. And fuck it, while you're there; Stay for 3:08. I can picture Burger King fighting White Castle to buy ad space between the two.
I'm not sure the whole 'gyrating like your uterus is getting jumped by a Ford F150' thing is still profitable. But fuck me running if it isn't entertaining. Strap a smock on the girl at 0:37 and Home Depot can kiss their paint mixing machines goodbye.
Beyond 19-years-old and doesn't know proper rectal entry positions. But what she lacks in anatomy, she makes up for in... well... nothing. The future spinal ruptures tell me we won't be seeing the sequel to "Karens Krapper: Volume 1.5" this year.
