What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagacar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now tho? No one even pumps the brakes.
Much like everything Marvel has turned into a TV series; This starts out pretty interesting, but 30 seconds in you realize you've seen this shit before. Then you masturbate anyway and have a good night's rest before the credits start rolling.
A moment of Internet history, almost forgotten in the annals of time. It's hard to explain to a newcomer why this shit was so groundbreaking in the late 2000's. Just imagine a college campus with no politics and an endless supply of Plan B.
The original upload refers to her as his wife, but I know that diabolical level of contact avoiding at the 1:27 mark only comes in the form of pay-to-play. #facts
idk who she is. idc who she is. She should start decorating my Venmo with all kinds of pesos just for acknowledging these backwoods circus bozos even exist.
Imagine getting the Mike Tyson makeover cause you couldn't keep your yapper off a penis that's configured like a submarine telescope. Prioritize better ladies.
The original title alone they have over there is so fucking absurd, you have to believe it's actually true. Admittedly it might not be worth the 30 minute mini-series run time, but it's definitely one of the unicorns of the Xhamster underbelly.
That's odd. The day walker is one of the most elusive creatures on our planet, so you'd think their survival skills would be more honed than this. Clearly a skill issue.
These stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of the average degenerate human being sharing this planet with you. Except that last one. Oh yes, there will be blood.
If anything this is worth watching for the C-level acting job done by Tunaboat Tommy and his goof fuck friend at the end. I've seen better presentations from dropouts of the Macho Man community College of Performing Arts. #oohyeah
If that isn't the look of a girl that's said "i' use dijon mustard as lubricant with for neighbor's mailbox" at Thanksgiving dinner, u can slap my bag & call me Sally. Now flip her over - I don't think Lorenzo got enough AIDS during his first pump.
That's not an actual quote from the video, but it should be. It seems Susana is having a little trouble with broski's maximum depth potential. And by trouble, I mean the kind of organ rearrangement Art The Clown would be impressed by.
It's not often you see me hyping, but [this girl] is different. The rare combo of beansprouting and a well maintained bassoon has me rating her performance 3 balls up. I just might have to pony up this month's Charmin money to go private.
I mean... at this point you might as well spring for the $100 refurbished Fleshlight. Or at the very least, MacGyver one at Walmart. The post-nut clarity will be easier.
5:15. Be less worried about token counts and more concerned with whatever off-road vehicle ran that thing over and fled the scene. The fuck is going on down there? And more importantly, how many Tremors movies are we up to now?
Imagine all the planning, text messages, sneaking around and poker face horse shit she went through only to find out Sanjeet has the endurance of a geriatric garden snail. You can almost pinpoint the moment of her final disappointment.
There's people that skirt along the edge of "normal". Then there's Carrot Top. And finally there's unfixable misfits like the 10 or so specimens you're about to witness on the other side of this link. For non-American viewers; This is why Valium exists.
