Every good movie deserves a sequel, and many moons ago we discovered a girl that has less tolerance for raw beef products than a level 5 vegan. Probably all an act, but the hole-to-hole acrobatics is worth the followup.
Luckiest 18-year-old this side of Germania gets a b-day gift for the ages... Silicone-free, rentable-by-the-hour vagina. Look out world, for the next 4.5 action-packed minutes belong to Clovis 'take no prisoners' Hofmann.
Ever watch Dumb and Dumber To? Me neither... but if they were to make a pornographic spinoff with Megan Fox, it might look something like this. Denied entry times: 12:20, 20:15 and Custer's last stand @ 23:30.
A romantic moment breaks out in front of stunned train passengers. Emilio then ups his game by infiltrating teh underpants and securing a chastity belt-like grip on this gypsies coin purse. Technique brought to you by JCVD.
Fire up League of Legends at any given time and you're sure to be communicating with a post-250 pounder that thinks Pop Tarts are a food group. Say hi to the exception. She's like Olivia Munn... except interesting.
Hipster look without the feminist agenda. Not a bad piece of turkey jerky. Will I date her? No. Will I treat her to a Gummy Bear Jamba Juice and complimentary cornhole evaluation? OHY. Her Twitter. Her YouTube.
DOMINO EFFECT: she goes 2fast2furious on her clitoris > sound alerts boss > surprise confrontation almost makes her give birth to a Hershey's special dark bar. Find her HERE where she bills herself as a cool 55lbs.
Not since the time I used Canadian nickles on a stripper named Twin Peaks have I seen such disrespect for fat tits. But unlike my ban from The Bush Co. - these BBW whisperers have zero intent of letting this poor soul go.
Nothing gets clicks quite like scenes of unsuspected sauce tossing. So here's 45 minutes of them. You read that right: FORTY FIVE - as in the number of erections I get during one episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
1 part mystery, 13 parts WTF. Confusion starts with the Thor-like climax at 2:44. Said goober then begins to flop around like an adderall-deficient retard. WHY? Only his gyno and Shaquille O'Neal's wife have that answer.
Going mach-17 on your clitoris in order to produce your first non-Harry Potter related climax? Cool. Seizing up like you got tazed in the asshole with a car battery? Not so cool. What in the fuck did I just ejaculate to?
He's packing 5.7 inches worth of sexual assault but the target won't sit still long enough for him to deliver the payload. Bonus pts for her almost backing into it, but ultimately he goes home with a dick dryer than Egypt.
Eight seconds of stroking and dude pops his cork faster than Kanye West looking at himself in a mirror. Skip on ahead to 0:51 seconds for British shaming at it's finest.
Legitimately impressing a camwhore and getting to see the best tit job you can buy from a Tijuana carpenter: These are the 2 greatest things man can achieve on the Internet. In this case, 2 birds are killed w/ 1 boner.
5+ mins of homemade roleplay victim sex. So faptastic I canceled my dinner date @ Burger King just so I could re-watch it all day. TIP: I cancel 100% grade-F horse meat burgers for nobody. THAT'S how good this vid is.
Pair of dudes go in for the oral but end up in a sword fight instead. Accidental collisions I understand. The homosexual equivalent of a bro fist @ 15:46 I do not.
He's got a 7.5 inch ham slammer and she dances like Jennifer Lopez after an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this cut off before the best part. I say mom did them a fucking favor.
For a minute there I was starting to lose faith in white female's ability to keep me entertained. Then I was introduced to a vagina with more bounce in it than Spalding has ever produced in 50 years. #WIN
