What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagacar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now tho? No one even pumps the brakes.
A moment of Internet history, almost forgotten in the annals of time. It's hard to explain to a newcomer why this shit was so groundbreaking in the late 2000's. Just imagine a college campus with no politics and an endless supply of Plan B.
idk who she is. idc who she is. She should start decorating my Venmo with all kinds of pesos just for acknowledging these backwoods circus bozos even exist.
Imagine getting the Mike Tyson makeover cause you couldn't keep your yapper off a penis that's configured like a submarine telescope. Prioritize better ladies.
The original title alone they have over there is so fucking absurd, you have to believe it's actually true. Admittedly it might not be worth the 30 minute mini-series run time, but it's definitely one of the unicorns of the Xhamster underbelly.
Becky Buttholowski has all her yappin instantly silenced when the official United States immigration policy shows up & has a word or 2 with her. No negotiations.
The (actual) original post was by a homie that claimed he was going to "try cuckolding" but things quickly turned into an all out free-for-all the moment her Lululemon's hit the floorboards. A moment of silence for Brad's ex-relationship.
If anything this is worth watching for the C-level acting job done by Tunaboat Tommy and his goof fuck friend at the end. I've seen better presentations from dropouts of the Macho Man community College of Performing Arts. #oohyeah
If that isn't the look of a girl that's said "i' use dijon mustard as lubricant with for neighbor's mailbox" at Thanksgiving dinner, u can slap my bag & call me Sally. Now flip her over - I don't think Lorenzo got enough AIDS during his first pump.
It's not often you see me hyping, but [this girl] is different. The rare combo of beansprouting and a well maintained bassoon has me rating her performance 3 balls up. I just might have to pony up this month's Charmin money to go private.
I mean... at this point you might as well spring for the $100 refurbished Fleshlight. Or at the very least, MacGyver one at Walmart. The post-nut clarity will be easier.
5:15. Be less worried about token counts and more concerned with whatever off-road vehicle ran that thing over and fled the scene. The fuck is going on down there? And more importantly, how many Tremors movies are we up to now?
There's people that skirt along the edge of "normal". Then there's Carrot Top. And finally there's unfixable misfits like the 10 or so specimens you're about to witness on the other side of this link. For non-American viewers; This is why Valium exists.
[Macy Meadows] A squirtacular 18YO that hasn't been broken by the long dong of the industry yet, so... feel the good times before you don't know you're in them.
Top tier body proportions and doesn't suffer from Freddy vs. Jason retconning. (see: water) I'd definitely cancel a lunch date at Cheesecake Factory so I can spend the afternoon reorganizing the organs in her lower abdominal region.
