Most 19-year-olds work their way into college and learn trigonometry. Others are in it for the networking. Me? I moved to skidrow and documented hobos smoking meth and performing communal rimjobs. A revolutionary concept at the time.
All I see is jealousy. Well... maybe "jealous" is the wrong word as it would imply she gives half a shit about public image. Trust me; she doesn't. I've been inside a White Castle at 2:00AM. I know what antipathy and diseased meat looks like.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's admitted to losing her virginity to a mailbox, I don't know what is. Now get your ass back to changing room #3 and clean up. Not even China Buffet exposes their customers to substances this retched.
Coors Light expert zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on better things. I.E. getting a faceful of Kentucky's finest directly into her minge. I'm waiting for the sequel. The one where Lester makes a b-line for that b-whole.
Well shit, with proportions and elasticity like that I'll gladly lower my standard and line up at the brillo pad elephant dick barbershop with the rest of em. #noregrats
This is standard im having a quarterlife crisis so I'm gonna filter the shit out of my face and make a TikTok account syndrome. Fortunately for us, the Internet gives the gift of social media to bridge the eventual gap into Walmart parking lot porn.
Turns out the keto friendly bratwurst and vinegar diet has a downside after-all. Call me a psychic, but I'm guessing the sequel isn't on her to-do schedule...
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
bottoming out: "When the penis or other instrument used in a vagina, hits the back wall and can not go in any further." or better known as: "getting lil jon'd"
Willingly humiliated, nearly choked unconscious and takes more shots than Floyd Mayweather during a 12 round championship bout. No, it's not Connor's return to the octagon. But it's still going to cost you $59.99 if her 1st name has a hypen in it.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
And by lesson, I mean negotiating better pay than $1.00 Wendy's Frosty coupons when agreeing to a scene that damages more pussy than a Texas animal rescue.
I don't know who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on the first date. Isn't afraid to go full commando, and has absolutely no respect for the domestic leatherette option in the Suburban you borrowed from mom.
Leaking classified information? Murder? Shit, even International Dick Cricket Infestation would be on my list sooner than one Tinder gremlin subjecting herself to 31 separate 8-man gangbangs in the fucking barracks. Yet... here we are.
Not even two minutes of clitoral stimulation and this Becky's pork chop piss flaps start dancing around like a mother fuckin trash compactor. I'm talking vaginal contractions, YUGE ones. So big even her sphincter joins in on the macarena.
$10.00 and the final remnants of my Culver's cheese curds says she uses dipshit phrases like "bussin" and "no cap" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in the backseat of my Toyota Corolla again, mother fucker". Typical zoomer attitude.
Superb technique, but it's probably not for beginners. Chances are you'll misjudge one power thrust and catch one of the locals in the crossfire. It's called "The Ben Roethlisberger" and it will make you wish you kept the half boners at home.
I can't prove this was filmed in the heart of America's septic tank. But if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and whores itself out to 17 live Instagram viewers it probably originated from The Garden State. A little wisdom from Grampa Efukt.
