Thought were gonna make it 3 volumes of woman decorating their reproductive systems with everything not bolted down at Home Goods, and not get a visit by the only pornstar that could land a Dyson sponsorship? You thought wrong.
Not the plan of attack I recommend you try on the misses. But when you're Mimi Cica, anything that doesn't run on a turbo diesel engine seems to be fair game...
Imagine thinking you're going to get a few warm up rounds, and before you can get your last gulp of Starbies down you're already dodging an onslaught of haymakers. Possible life reflection moment happening in real time around 21:46.
Step sister, third cousin, disabled mental patient that smells like expired mashed potatoes; You degenerates can label this video with whatever tags you want, nothing short of contracting buttpox is stopping a dive below that waistline.
A question for the gentleman who choose this method as an introduction to anal for their significant other: What exactly is your pregame vetting process? Seems to me locking her into the floor keeps you in the soft serve blast zone at all times.
She's not exactly equipped with a porn poker face. So when the director screams action, you know that corpsing smile is authentic. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Kirstie Alley and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.
I respect a man that can make a white girl stop in her tracks faster than Target 1/2 off clearance sale by simply removing his Nike Dri-FITs, and hangin' some brain.
Willing humiliation, being choked unconscious and receiving more hits than one of those bullshit primitive building channels. No, it's not Connor's return to the octagon. But it's still gonna cost you $79.99 if her 1st name has a hyphen in it.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's admitted to losing her virginity to a mailbox, I don't know what is. Now get your ass back to changing room #3 and clean up. Not even China Buffet exposes their customers to substances this retched.
Coors Light expert zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on better things. I.E. getting a faceful of Kentucky's finest directly into her minge. I'm waiting for the sequel. The one where Lester makes a b-line for that b-whole.
Well shit, with proportions and elasticity like that I'll gladly lower my standard and line up at the brillo pad elephant dick barbershop with the rest of em. #noregrats
This is standard im having a quarterlife crisis so I'm gonna filter the shit out of my face and make a TikTok account syndrome. Fortunately for us, the Internet gives the gift of social media to bridge the eventual gap into Walmart parking lot porn.
For the 99.3% of the world that gives less than a shit about the TikTok hierarchy; That's Bella Poarch in the thumbnail. And the right side is the end result of some giga SIMP feverishly finishing his and/or her weekly dose of Ritalin in a single day.
7 (read: seven, as in the number of times I've been kicked out of Burger King for "unnecessary use of a urinal") acts of public lewdness not even I suggest copying, especially that last one. Let's just say: Raging Waters will never be the same again.
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
Can't say I'm used to getting these kinds of requests outside of a FarmersOnly match, so color me pleasantly surprised. At that and her nipple symmetry. Not being required to own a forklift prior to date #1 is also a plus I'm not overlooking.
Not even two minutes of clitoral stimulation and this Becky's pork chop piss flaps start dancing around like a mother fuckin trash compactor. I'm talking vaginal contractions, YUGE ones. So big even her sphincter joins in on the macarena.
$10.00 and the final remnants of my Culver's cheese curds says she uses dipshit phrases like "bussin" and "no cap" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in the backseat of my Toyota Corolla again, mother fucker". Typical zoomer attitude.
Superb technique, but it's probably not for beginners. Chances are you'll misjudge one power thrust and catch one of the locals in the crossfire. It's called "The Ben Roethlisberger" and it will make you wish you kept the half boners at home.
