Probably about as legit as Texas Roadhouse employee's washing their hands, but I do admire her dedication to the scene. The facial expressions are on point, and that smoke stack is winking like George Costanza after going 1v1 with a grapefruit.
Desperate college girls and 40-year-olds with TikTok accounts; It's a combination second only to Diet Dr. Shasta and Trader Joe's patio chips. (trust me). In other words: It's a safe bet that everybody was harmed during the making of this video.
#of: For half the cost of a Raising Cane's combo meal, u too can be subjected to whatever toxicology violations are lurking behind those master class Double-D's.
Kind of a side note, but every time this dude makes a forward thrust her tits clap like a trained seal. I'm not supposed to find fish sticks erotic... yet here we are.
Almost got her to perform the coveted 180º eye roll maneuver halfway into this tutorial for making grammas old fashioned mashed potatoes (depression era). And for that, I and the CEO of Depends Undergarments for Adults thanks you.
Nine+ minutes of Emberlynn cosplaying as a stuffed holiday ham (southern style). Pretty remarkable performance, that's safe to say is not a once in a lifetime event.
Another one of those zero IQ muh sister videos, except this time the roast beef hasn't expired yet and they casted a girl that may have some... uh, experience in this sensitive area. I'm not sayin what you think I'm sayin - know what I'm sayin?
Props to the guy piping this one down. I haven't seen a 78lb girl this interesting since the time I was caught defecating in a Starbucks drive thru in protest to my blonde roast getting served hot. I specifically said ICED, Becky-lynn. More HERE.
Out of all the ways to catch an incurable disease on New Jersey's coastline, this actually only ranks #2 on the list. Our man is still 3 orders of deep fried Oreos and an Atlantic City hooker away from securing his gold medal. Shoot for the stars.
Yeah uh... so is this what SoCiAL eXpErImEnTs have evolved into? Because if I've lived to the point where park benches have become more dangerous than a dimly lit alleyway after dark in a big city, we may have a problem on our hands/mouths.
Another historical moment that turned Pierre Woodman into the Terminator we know him as today. These deteriorating VHS tapes really do belong in a museum.
The blurring of lines between snorkeling and female independence as illustrated by a sex act that's lead to more adult diapers than In n' Out's Animal Style. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my Walmart reward points.
So... who exactly do we blame here? The beta who lied about the tolerance of his wife's prairie dog nest , or the guy trying to brute force his way to a $17 payday? Don't have that answer, but 1 thing is for sure: The sequel is not in development.
Surface-to-air tits like an enhanced Nina North, attitude straight outta New Jersey and doesn't believe in webcam technology created after 1997. If her boyfriend didn't look like he writes Among Us fan fiction, we'd have an all time great here.
If any of you ever want to launch one of those "Top 10 Ways to Spend $47 Dollars in South America" kind of blogs, make sure this hooker is on the list. Somewhere in between soccer themed flip flops, and a ceramic bust of Gloria Estefan's anus.
