A penis that probably needs it's own life boat, and an insanely high tolerance for pain. If there ever was an instructional video on why to lock the fucking door in public places, I'd declare these two just laid the groundwork for a mf'n sequel.
You would think one day in the future a video of your significant other being railroaded in the shallow end of a pool human sized petri dish would return to haunt you. And if u do, u'd be right. She'll never show her face in Walmart again.
Bum-rushing your pseudo family members: Apparently it's the stepping stone for every 40-something female that wants to continue her pornographic legacy. Most ladies have enough respect to decline. But this mom has a different approach...
hmm judging by the circumferences and elasticity of both buttholes, it's clear the subplot here is act of revenge. Dude definitely knows his way around a Wendy's.
Maybe "refund" is the wrong word here, as it suggests someone would actually give this oxycontin adventurer their hard earned shillings for sexual favors. They don't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Saturday night.
Pretty much the complete opposite material I expected to find on a website that considers Afghani shotgun beheadings a form of roleplay. Then again, judging by the facial expressions he might be practicing the Missouri Drain-O. But I digress.
Normally girls that willingly accept this much upper respiratory abuse are still trying to trade in their Marlboro Miles for for walkmans and swiss army knives.
She's Demi Hawks and you'll have to clear out an appointment or three to truley appreciate her. What she lacks in tits, she makes up for in "copy/pasted tiktok thrift store makeup configuration I want to use as a communal speed bump" field.
There's actually two clips here, so let me explain: It starts off with a few raised eyebrows, and ends with me wondering if we're being too harsh when it comes to Pakistani karaoke. I know that sentence makes no sense... but it will in a minute.
Lackluster, but you can't say Jimbo isn't getting his money's worth. That sixty five second performance is second only to Debbie Smith's Jump Rebound Aerobics.
Took a minute, but that's the same girl from clout delivery guy video. I recognize that copy/paste build-a-bear tiktoker paint by numbers fashion sense anywhere.
The Ralph Wiggum "heart rips in half" moment is at the 3:40 mark. Last time I saw a middle-aged woman roll her eyes like that was riding Kang & Kodos Twirl 'n' Hurl after a hearty breakfast of Malt Liquor. My mom wont talk to me anymore.
There were definitely a couple moments of genuine concern on her face here. Somewhere in between the third and forth attempt to block the airway and force her to breath through her anus like a turtle [proof] she seems slightly distressed.
Is it porno? Or something that gets submitted to a performative art school as a final project? cause if ur waxin carrot to this shit, it may be time for intervention.
I'm positive this is the same woman that keeps invading my Instagram feed with videos about having squirrels up her ass, or publicly shaming herself over having the vaginal odor of a Sudanese outhouse. So... it was advertising for this? I guess?
One of those moments I can overlook the obvious health code violations because the performance is legendary. Be sure to leave them a ★★★★★ Yelp review. Something along the lines of: "Service was fast. Getting pubic lice was faster.".
