Imagine swallowing enough beef to spiral the vegan community out of control, then proclaim it's not for the money. Here's a free tip: It might be more believable if you say it without the echo your butthole is emitting after doing that scene lol.
Right-swipe of the year takes a stroll down buttblast boulevard in an attempt to expand her reach on social media. Little weak TBH. I've seen assholes getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Logan Paul video.
I'm sorry lady, but if you need half of Auto Zone crammed up your smurf box on top of a penis, you may be desensitized. Or from Vietnam. Dilation is important.
This ones starts off as a painal video. But much like me during a theatrical release that stars Nicholas Cage, that only lasts about 18 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure. And by pleasure I mean screaming for olive oil-based lubricants.
You don't have to be a Chad to experience double-fisted AIDS. But when I go STD Akimbo I seek out the discount bin for further savings. Ever get combo-blown by 2 girls with less teeth than a goldfish? Cause you can do it twice at these prices.
Imagine having a slab of meat so heavy u dedicate an entire Pornhub account to marketing it. Barnum & Bailey will be in touch. Right after the Discovery channel.
The best part of keeping a travel-sized Thai-hole on your payroll? Budget banging no matter how "eco-friendly" your $17/night hotel room is for starters. Also AIDS.
Good ole TikTok. It's like VINE, but more nudity and less dipshits that consider Call of Duty a rights of passage. Also it has Bree Louise's bare ass tit/vajee combo.
5+ minutes of implied family porn even Dr. Phil wouldn't touch. I think it's pretty safe to say 2020 has officially jumped the shark when it comes to sister swagging.
Think it's all freshman-year waistlines and Google Translating the cost of a Filipino corncobbing? Think again my stereotyped friend. Your sheckles would be better spent on your sister's braces. At least then you'd cum in under 24 hrs.
Listen up Patrick: when it comes time to splurge mom's xmas money this holiday season - try making it a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into the elasticity of the rectal cavity as she did into her Warby Parker frames, then maybe this permanent mark on her resume could have been avoided. Live, Learn and Burn.
With a name like iBarbie you'd think she'd have more beta boyfriend. But as you can clearly see by her expressions from 1:31 - 6:30, her emotions are no more negotiable than the super size option at McDonald's. Same salt levels apply too.
This is what happens when the competition pushes you too far. Bloodlines are contaminated, boners get confused - all because some kooky little token gremlin couldn't keep her hands on her own tits. P.S. Watch the full 3hr broadcast HERE
