First time squirters, prolapse-induced climaxes and bittersweet hategasms... today's vid has more variety than a fuckin Sizzler salad bar. Best comes last, so I recommend you see this one all the way through
Not since The Mannetard have I seen such an intense level of misogyny. (this month) Unfortunately there's no followup story to this adventure... but what it lacks in explanations, it makes up for in semi-orgasmic zombie-like moaning.
Certainly not the first time mother nature has had enough of our shit, but it is one of the more entertaining things I've seen. Like these compilations? originals HERE
Sheldon is an expert of 2 things: Fortnite building & frying up the best meatball hot pockets this side of the prime meridian. Unfortunately neither skill will stop her from cheating with a guy that considers windchimes a musical instrument.
Ever seen a girl question the elasticity of her vagina, and her future as a NASA engineer at the same time? Fantastic. Now we have two things in common.
Going Hard in the Paint - It's the stepping stone to reliving your past life in the sorority house. Most women under the age of 40 have enough confidence in their rectal muscles to take the challenge. But this lady has a different approach...
She's drunk and/or high on discounted opiates... both of which explain why she's being tenderized like manager's special hotdog meat. Double bag it. Just in case.
Middle-age hit her like a sack of 80's exercise videos, and she needs cash. Bad. How can life get worse? Well, if you guessed being told to suck dick by the Dane Cook of porn directors, you just won my limited edition Power Ranger sex doll.
Never before have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such finesse. Where there's shame, he shows confidence. Where there's shock, he brings warmth. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
Symptom #293 you need to end the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by a speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.
and by "real" I mean the kind of on-demand tears that could snag an Emmy nomination right next to Captain Marvel. Or equally as interesting: "What I Flushed Down My Toilet Last Night" (that one was an independent documentary)
Jamming your weenus into crazy girl buttholes without consequences is about as probably as a Bernie Sanders-sponsored straight pride parade. But you have to admire her dedication. Thoughts? Hit it? Or hit it with a Toyota Corolla?
A night of Malibu Rum and bands that consider wind chimes an instrument can only end 1 of 2 ways. And while tits hanging off your family tree seems like a clear winner, I implore you to consider going Randy Savage on a bitch as an alternative.
solid proof HERE edit: Seems it was temporary. But how this girl remains sexually aroused is beyond me. Multiple 8 hour days of being molested by a Menudo cover band seems like it would dry out the sandbox pretty fucking quick, ya feel me?
The first girl may have very well ended erectile dysfunction as we know it with nothing more than eye contact. The second one instantly brought the epidemic back in full force. That's some sweet 50/50 booking, BROTHER. [original here]
Disregard the title they have. "french", "amateur" and "1st interracial threesome" are all lies. This girl was notorious for seeking black dong on plentyoffish and filming herself running the gambit of choco weiners in the mid-2000's. #truth
Now if only this freak put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. Kill him twice.
A number of ding dongs not normally found outside of a Twitter holiday party combine powers to set a record for Carter Cruise. But it's not the volume that matters here - it's the permanent brain damage. You'll see what I mean lol...
Fast Food: Some go for the convenience. Others, to test the durability of their Flushmaster 3000. But a select few request a real happy meal. #beyondmeat
