Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
The description under the video is about as accurate as attendance numbers at a wrestling ppv. All signs and cellulite point to her being one of Walmart's finest.
Adrien Brody levels of acting here. The story, the camerawork, the multiple cuts to fit in a few doses of Valtrex. If it wasn't for those double milk jugs stealing the spotlight our dude might be up for an Oscar. Someone get the nomination going.
It's insane this still happens in 2025. All the technology in the world, traveling at unfathomable speeds is at your fingertips and your target is the soggy ass of an innocent girl paying 27% interest on overpriced coffee beans? Do better bruh.
I'm no expert, but we may be reaching critical levels of shamelessness here. Or as the Italians used to call it; "Exterminus Adversus Slutterdominous". #historical
That's pretty good. [this] is better though. Mainly because it really shows us the aftermath of spending half a decade cramming the industries finest right back up the 'ole rusty walnut and how the future rectal intolerance is never guaranteed.
Pants off, penetrated and slimed all in under a minute thirty while not missing a step on those stubborn limescale stains around the grout lines. I don't know if this is a personal best, but he should probably submit the attempt to speedrunslive.
The average American mall has less activity than a graveyard today, so maybe consider this some sort of historical moment instead? A time when window shopping for meat this discounted was considered a communal act. #nostalgia
[chloe night]: she disappeared from the scene just as fast as she bulldozed into it, leaving in her wake a collection of [questionable] amateur tomfoolery. #weird
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all too soon...
It's pretty unbelievable what kind of deals still exist if you're just willing to put in the work and find seek them out. No need to negotiate on price either. Just lay down that $18.00 [USD] and let the all you can eat vaginitis buffet begin.
Maybe taming the stinky weasel is just more of a norm in other parts of the world? Either way, dude is sitting on a goldmine of a significant other here and the Internet demands more of her content including access to all mud buttons.
Debuting your asshole with this man as your costar is the equivalent of taking your drivers license test at a destruction derby. Against all odds she somehow she not only survived her rectal rearrangement, but thrived for many years to come.
It's one thing to beseech the good name of a private education institution. It's another to do it to the tune of $27.00 per month. Now somebody invite her to Knicks locker room. She could be doing a lot more good for the world right now.
Proficient camera angles and lighting, or a man that was actually conceived by a fucking Clydesdale? I'm sorry, I just don't have the answers behind this mystery.
After making it to the end of this zero budget shit show I'm inclined to believe it should've stayed forgotten. The full version is over an hour long and makes The Blair Witch Project look like it's part of the Scorsese catalog. I do not recommend.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your /fom? If you answered "is that Helmans?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
