Right-swipe of the week takes a stroll down butt blast boulevard in an attempt to expand her social media(s). Kinda weak for these guys tbh. I've seen asses getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Coffeezilla playlist.
One man's quest to convince followers he's sneak attacking real day laborers, ends in a hearty "i don't give a fuck, just give us more of those double-D Nordic orc tits". Nothing will ever be more unhinged than an xhamster comment tree.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade there's only two things left to do. So if you share the same genetics, take notes and consider this Plan C after you get banished from the batting cages for life.
I'm no expert in maintaining relationships with total strangers... but I do know a thing or two about self-medication: And you can't blame this one on the Nyquil.
Normally I'd be the first to out this as being faker than the tip I left a Door Dasher that dropped $43.00 worth of Del Taco (see: 1 value meal). But I did the research, and turns out these two share more DNA than Gene Simmons in the 70's. [more]
That stance she takes around the 16:14 mark and her saying "okay" to the entire book of flash tattoos tells you all you need to know about this videos authenticity.
All I ask is that you watch the entire thing and promise to never replicate any of it. Especially that indoor power washing in the last video. One wrong push and you run the risk of turning the thunderstorm into a full blown shit show. #imserious
Basically a public service announcement on the pros and cons of using Tinder in New Orleans. Some live to tell the tale. Others are in diapers at the age of 27. All have an abnormally intimate relationship with Newport cigarettes & turkey gravy.
uhh, of all the ways to catch a venereal disease in the southern hemisphere, this would have been at least 3rd on my list. Right behind spelling my name with a Q on Tinder, and fucking anything with the words "Manager's Special" written on it.
Many moons ago, a girl by the name Spring Thomas single-handedly started the BBC-4-ME movement. Apparently this Melody Parker character was hellbent on outperforming her mentor, and has been in the trenches ever since. More [here]
Shame she doesn't make raunchy butt ripper videos anymore. A damn crying shame. Never again will we see this level of excitement when it comes to colonizing the dark planet. EDIT: she's still alive/active. more [here] and [here]
Starts out as acting, but looks like things ended with a tinge of legitimate concern before the credits rolled out. Just another one of those unfortunate side effect from bartering with a man that considers mixed martial arts a form of roleplay.
Interesting technique around the 1:50 mark. It's 10% erotic, 90% "how to install carpet using a knee kicker". You might forget this video, but the rugburn won't.
Getting booty blasted [raw] within reaching distance of Sir Kensington's Classic Mayonnaise is a whole new level of disrespect for ur customers. 1 star ★☆☆☆☆.
A classic moment from the archives of Elay Smith. A woman that single-handedly set the ground work for future OnlyFan'ers by making a habit out of terrorizing her neighbors with nothing more than autistic facial expressions & double-G tits.
spoiler: it's the pepperoni-scented Call of Duty veteran getting his pickle popped, not the other way around. Apparently tha bros thought it would be hilarious to pay an escort to give Stewart the best 2.5 minutes of his life. Another spoiler: It is.
If facial expressions tell a story, I'd say this hog hopper just blasted through the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy and got halfway into the spinoffs in less time than it takes to shit myself after Panda Express egg rolls. (also known as: warp speed)
