Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy 1 bent Pokemon card away from a nervous breakdown, yet he's luring in A++ level tail. Lesson learned I guess. Never trust an AirBNB ad with the words my mom works nightfhit in the fine print.
I'll leave you with some wisdom my acquaintance at Taco Bell bestowed upon me: Never underestimate a woman's will to feed. She might have the phenotype of a Midwest soccer mom... but when the adrenaline hits, watch the fuck out.
He's got a 6.5 inch ham hammer and she has the reactions of Betty White after spending an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this got cut off before the best part. I say mom did all of us a mother fucking favor.
Just a PSA for those folks in Texas: This is that moment when your $30-per-night discount room ends up being the Herbert the Pervert's special pricing for fertile girls between the ages of 18-21, not the deal of the century you originally thought.
Yeah youre kinda hot... but the "anything goes" part of your quest for clout begins and fucking ends the moment your piss puddle cosplays as an alarm clock. #gag
After a marathon 365 days of nonstop sandpaper ass-fucking by 2020, you'd think Becky McBallbag would've called this guy's bluff and at least tried to enjoy the moment for another few seconds. What the hell happened to New Year New Me?
This is standard im having a midlife crisis so I'm gonna Photoshop the shit out of my tits and make an IG account syndrome. Fortunately, the Internet has given us the gift of social media to watch the eventual jump into Walmart parking lot porn.
It's like a super hip mom that totally supports her daughter getting rim-blasted by guys named after sports cars got an unlimited data plan and couldn't wait to show it off. Karen of the Kum world if you will. TY for listening to my cunTED talk.
blake blossom -- an unfairly unknown porn girl that should probably be on your radar right now. If not for this award-winning acting clinic, then for that special my mom taught me how to do this sexual prowess you just don't see anymore.
4:07 is the equalizer. That's the moment you realize cruising around town with a soft 6, in search of a solid 5 gets better results than TINDER can ever promise u.
hmm I bet she hasn't felt this kind of satisfaction since going lvl 99 Karen at the McDonald's drive-thru and actually getting that 2nd dipping sauce on the house.
Never underestimate a single parent showing off their greatest creation. You may someday end up in the trailer park of cumfuckery, but the stories will be priceless.
Amateur Meme Porn: Sometimes it's about as exciting as an audio book of Ted Cruz customizing a value meal at Burger King. But throw in a girl with 2 moms and pays her vagisil bill with Venmo tips, and suddenly you got faps for days.
I originally thought this kind of situation wouldn't be a possibility outside of the family in Resident Evil 7. And then I remembered West Virginia exists. #justfacts
Listen up Patrick: when it comes time to splurge mom's xmas money this holiday season - try making it a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
If only she put this much effort into not dressing like a Salvadorian street walker, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thanks Linda. You'll receive the invoice soon.
2006: A forgotten time when iPods ruled the world and the only way to efficiently broadcast live sex acts was private Stickam rooms. It's also the time this girl's parental unit got home from The Piggly Wiggly too early and made history.
Being able to pinpoint the moment a parent's hope dies is about as rare as rare can get. Second only to ordering a Popeye's chicken sandwich without second degree battery, and the mythological 1-wipe after Olive Garden's Tour of Italy.
