For those that don't speak nachos grande, here's the scoop: The evolutionary cul-de-sac you're looking at is Beshine. At 20 lbs a piece, she holds the record for biggest mistakes on Earth, Jupiter and Deep Space 9.
Pair of dudes go in for the oral but end up in a sword fight instead. Accidental collisions I understand. The homosexual equivalent of a bro fist @ 15:46 I do not.
Twerking: Mastered by black girls, pure nightmare fuel when Sally gets down. But am I the only one who sees the danger here? 1 wrong move & her skeletal structure will have more breaks than a Mexican landscaper.
Self-entitled college mid-carder finds her braless flapjacks on a website and has a shitfit. By the 2nd threat of litigation I had already forgotten what flavor of IHOP syrup I'd cover those punching bags with.
Los Hermanos de Butt Sex have been assigned a mission: Leave no hole unfilled. Any first-year college girl can pull off a DP, but it takes a special kind of slut McNugget to endure this assault & live nightmare-free.
He's got a 7.5 inch ham slammer and she dances like Jennifer Lopez after an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this cut off before the best part. I say mom did them a fucking favor.
Congratulations! You just disobeyed 50 generations of strict sexual guidelines to give southern white males their biggest erections since the Michael Brown verdict.
When all your knowledge of cinematography comes from Keanu Reeves, this is the result. I may have inadvertently just uncovered a new action genre even Jason Statham would be embarrassed to participate in.
Say hello to your new obsession. Not only does she incorporate all parts of the male genitalia into her blowjobs, "not-scared-of-sudden-seminal-gagging" is on her resume too. How could I NOT link to this video?
Becky and the blind Guatemalan she hired to ink her orangutang booty have some explaining to do. I think it's best you find the nearest wood chipper and lower those cheeks into it. Even FEMA can't help you now.
Her v-hole is capable of filling a solo cup quicker than a bar tap but when she goes maximum spread @ 9:27 it looks like the Predator on picture day. Do I fap or flee?
A no-questions asked handjob in the loading area of Bed Bath and Beyond would put the smile on any man's face... but not Carlos. Who shit in his Baja Chalupa?
Can't really blame her. Dude's bush looks like the top of Eddie Murphy's head circa de Beverly Hills Cop 1. If you had to go face-to-egg bag with a nut sac that requires a hairnet, you'd be squinting pretty fucking hard too.
Undoubtedly the most daring group of sex offenders this planet has ever seen. I must note though - nobody was hurt, fantasies were fulfilled and these girls got something to tweet about other than being fat. #WIN
Everybody is born with a gift. Clearly his is having the Optimus Prime of genitalia. Watch in utter amazement as nothing more than a single-handed choke hold transforms his Oscar Mayer into a portobello mushroom.
How/Why this female is stimulated enough to have an orgasm is beyond my knowledge. Her sexual partners include a ventriloquist dummy hung like Patrick Ewing and whatever 25,000 Dave n Buster coupons can buy.
Here's a hotel review I'd like to see on TripAdvisor: Conveniently adjacent to highway 45, where all westbound traffic can get a clear view of your battle-fatigued piss cutter. Consider my reservation booked.
3:00AM cuckolding session goes from good idea to I think I need a gynecologist as Darius Williams the 3rd repeatedly bulldozes Becky's reproductive system. Award-winning cries of fear @ 1:30, 7:16 and 16:55.
I'll bet 30 Pesos & all 3 self-taped VHS copies of House Party 2 that she spent more time teaching her tits to twerk than studying for that GED. A moral decision that will most definitely pay off at the next ICP concert.
An eFukt classic circa de 2005. Same story: Upon discovery of Curious Carlos, this banshee emits a war cry that would make Conan the Barbarian shit himself 40 yards away. I'm still just as confused in 480p.
