I'll forgive the lack of tits in this video. I understand your need for attention. But cutting off the petting zoo fantasy BEFORE stepping foot into the Madagascar exhibit? ZERO STARS, you blue-balling, distrustful shit pigeon.
WOW. Between having the penis of a guinea pig, and the hairline of Danny Devito, I don't know what this Idaho spud fuck was thinking. Whattaya guess he titled this for home use? 'Caterpillar Cock Campaign #3'?? HAHA
Shame this girl doesn't make videos anymore. A damn crying shame. Never again will we see this level of excitement when it comes to colonizing the brown planet. Today's fap will be followed by a moment of silence. RIP.
Consider this a pleasant reminder that if you think you're really good at something, an Asian is already doing it better. Especially ones that can multitask a 4.0 GPA and more sausage than a birthday party in New Jersey.
My gut instincts tell me this is about as probable as Shia LaBeouf being properly medicated during business hours.. but I do find her full body dry-heaving, and fluid distribution kind of compelling. Thoughts?
Just skip to 8:01. The part where he goes Robocop toxic waste scene inside the walls of her gravy cave. If the consistency of his brand doesn't scream 'I maintain a steady diet of yogurt and silly putty' I don't know what does.
If physical pain at all plays a role in the enjoyment a person feels, I would estimate Rocketta Balboa here is hovering in between 'Level 10 Orgasm' and "I got an extra McNugget in my value meal". Ejaculate with caution.
Burritos are burritos, I don't discriminate. But when your bum crumbs are in the vicinity of my guacamole, ur walking on that thin line of reprehensible. Now put your underwear back on before my sour cream is on the house.
Lesson Learned: If dude isn't hung like a chinchilla, it may be best to steer him far away from the chocolate volcano. Last time I checked, girls in teh biz didn't have health plans that covered radical reconstructive surgery.
Sarah, Plain and Kunty does the absolutely unforgivable: Takes a load in the mouth... but instead of treating her stomach to 12 G's of farm-grade protein, she refunds it. Like she got blasted with battery acid. I vote public scalping.
This seems to be the new standard in webcam fuckery: Using crafty camera angles, and a borrowed vagina to make Bangladeshi cab drivers think you're munching your own box and triple token revenues. SPOILER: IT WORKS.
Homeboy gets the invite to ride the vein train to Epiglottis Avenue on a girl that has a smaller esophagus than Tyrion Lannister. He approaches the same way I do to 5PM traffic: Ram foward, and ignore the cries for help.
This is one of few videos left in the wake of the walking disaster known as JewDank. A degenerate folk tale filled with drugs, deception and calling out girls that fuck their dogs. Read the full history HERE. Fap again HERE.
Veteran with tremendous natties gets sanduskied by a trio of guys that are no stranger to 7-11 glory holes. And Arn Anderson in the back makes me believe 1 horseman is missing from this championship belt title match.
She's drunk and/or retarded... both of which explain why she's fornicating in front of Hollister's day shift. My only question: Who's balls did she have to gargle to get those killer 'almost on the clitoris' tats? I dig 'em