Not even 30 seconds of clitoral stimulation and this housewife's pork chop piss flaps start dancing like a damn trash compactor. I'm talking vaginal contractions, YUGE ones. So big even her sphincter joins in the macarena.
Her body language alone made the P-to-B transaction less probable than Bob Barker headlining UFC 215. Best she sticks to stuff she's good at. Like shopping at Warby Parker & picketing Chipotle. 'straight to A' isnt her thing.
There's something captivating about a man that approaches cornholing the way a lumberjack does a tree. Itscreams "i did hard time in San Quentin". Definitely a legend. Definitely worthy of his own category at ExpertVillage.
Ever jam a full pack of Bubbalicious in your mouth & blow an epic bubble? Neither have I. Only an idiot would go through $1.75 of primo gum all at once. But hey, that's probably what this lady's asshole looks like right now.
If dicks size plays a role in judging personality, I'd guesstimate this chick is floating between the Emma Watson fantasy and Robert Downy Jr's ex-coke addiction. And yet she handles the pipe like her name is Luigi. #HESPEC
Here's some infos I picked up watching an infomercial for The Wonder Boner: always maintain good form. Sloppy mistakes are how Katy Perry's are made. Don't think the same applies to the Soviets? Give it a month...
He's balls-deep into hiking the vagalachian trail, and she's one degree away from Amy Schumer entertainment levels. She's also in need of acting classes. Badly. Skip to the 2:06 mark for pornographic dialogue at it's finest.
Great face. Nice body. But what really got me on board was the complete lack of logic. Look closely. No brains, no thoughts. So cute you'd almost forget this happens when they get more than half a can into their mouths.
2 homeboys packing more red meat than a Texas dairy farm tag-team a MILF into catastrophic failure. Who would have thought a combined 19 inches could be dangerous? Clearly not Margret "life support" Stroker.
Tina Belcher's safe space gets invaded by some dude taking his mushroom to the park, but accidentally found love instead. Does she: 1) Call da police 2) trade gazpacho recipes or c) take Shia Ladork's advice. This ones easy.
Is that really Smiley Miley in the video? No. But what you should really be wondering is: If Katy Perry was to suffer a serious head injury, would the extra chromosomes actually fall out? Asking the important questions here.
Interruption @10:06. And whats our heroes reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his bashful costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still a star in my book.
A once thought to be lost classic resurfaces. Community college bro gets a pass on rent in exchange for clearing out the cobwebs from his landlady's minge, complete with awkward small talk and blacked.com fuck positions.
Bobbie Sue-Lynn sure is eager to witness the poppage of her BFF's Pringle can, but her cheerleading isn't enough to get the job done. FREE TIP: Try greasing with spicy mayonnaise first. It's called 'The Fire Drill'. I invented it.
No better way to celebrate your final day of freedom than by cramming a bottle of Pepsi's finest in the tuna mitten of a $14 hooker. They went for an assisted goal, but she insisted max capacity was already reached. UH HUH.
It might be best if she avoided all things hotdog related for the next few days. Only two things should reroute the female orgasm so effectively, and I don't see Shia LaBeouf or a Reddit meetup anywhere in this video.
Gotta respect a guy that's more interested in his 50% Off Panda Express coupon, than questioning why his 18-year-old daughter is naked in front of the family webcam. Balancing priorities are an integral part of fatherhood.
Modern society can't walk more than 6 feet without tearing the phone out, and frantically telling the population how different they are from it. It's a srs disorder, and let me tell you: identifying as a toilet is as good as it gets folks.
Gender-bending haircuts, legit physical similarities, possible inbreeding... all in the name of passing off 'brother and sister video #2391" as authentic. Quite unsettling. I'd say A&E's fetish for adult diapers has met it's match.
Did flashing interns at the local 7-11 becoming a challenge or something? Apparently this winner prefers cleaning ladies. Specifically the types that have to bleachthe shit stains out of Walmart porcelain. C - L - A - S - S - Y
Don't let that lack of muscle tone fool you: She's a protein assassin. We all have a calling in life... and after skull-fucking the basic multiplication skills out of herself, I think we all know what her future holds. » networking.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2-mile radius was no problemo. But ~60 secs of churning butt butter? GAME OVER. Ladies and gents: I present to you the enigma of Asian scrag hags.
This chumpo prefers his women to be on the defensive, specifically ones that have the best set of knockers I've seen this side of Walmart's customer service line. I promise, its the greatest ICP-fan sex tape you'll fap to today.