Certainly not the first time an educator has turned her tuna dugout into the extra credit project, but she is one of the hottest. Rarely do I say this, but she's one cunt hair away from a supersize on my dime. Call me in 5-10?
Same story every time: girl wants to brown the sausage, but she's about as good at taking it up the ass as I am at convincing super heavyweights on Tinder that my semen taste like Cold Stone cake batter. (2% success rate)
Overt drug use, public squabblenecking, 60FPS cameras... this video is more well-rounded than the list of STDS on her Tinder profile. No kicker, but wat it lacks in surprises... it makes up for in the worst dirty talk you'll hear ever.
Joe Blow blocks all action with his repulsive unglazed donut, but with a file name like 'AnalDislike.flv' I can assure you an unstable amount of jealousy will result by watching it. Not floating your goat? Indulge in THIS instead.
Funny. Too bad it's shot in New York tho... where the only thing capable of raising eyebrows is a sewer rat doing backflips into Howard Stern's asshole. It's cool tho, let ur lack of reaction be counteracted by this Hasi Hoedown.
Rookie has an emo moment 3 seconds into her first Turkish handshake. He graciously accepts her apology... then starts plotting an exit strategy out of the relationship. Time to go back to Cracker Barrel lady. It's more ur speed.
If you're expecting to see this front loader send another victim screaming to the E.R... prepare for disappointment. The attraction today is not organ rearrangement. Its how easy she houses the Sears Tower of synthetic dicks.
Fresh off a Denny's night shift, and new to the Ketamine scene, this broad carves herself right into 12 steps of rehabilitation. An unfortunately accurate title for what may be the most questionable erection you have all hour.
Only 2 people should never be caught doing the forbidden fox trot: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Clorox' phase, and this girl. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for Efukt.
I once heard a female performer cover half the star spangled banner during a scene. That used to rank pretty high on my personal ist of 'random-as-fuck-videos-with-a-vagina-in-them'. And then I saw this.
The most offensive thing I've seen women do since accidentally loading buzzfeed.com. And much like that site, spending more than 5 minutes in the same room as one of these creatures will lead to ritual suicide. #GAG
Proof you've hit rock bottom: Heroin not being the worst thing you stick in your body. Fuckin' guy looks like 1999 Drew Carey, and has the sexual execution of a blind kangaroo. But the real question is: think she's single?
Starts off as a BJ vid, but like me during The Mummy remake, it lasts about 27 seconds. From then on it's all pleasure. And by 'pleasure' I mean whiplash so violent u'll be amazed she can feed herself without FEMA gettin involved.
This lady has a condition known as 'high maintenance'. It's what happens when dad stops loving you before you get into college, so you seek the refuge of alpha males that tenderize you like a $4.00 shank of London Broil.
Now I have seen a few snappers in my day, never seen one that’ll cut grass. Maybe do a little edging along the driveway after a party, that’s all you can hope for. But you know, “weed whacker”, you can understand! - GC 1999
Easy on the eyes, but her attention whoring puts a Kardashian to shame. 1 dick? k. 2 I get after a round of wine spritzers - but in front of 1,200 people? Bitch, if I wanted to see livestock, I'd get my ban lifted from The Bronx Zoo.
Contrary to the social media hive mind, black girls do have sex with their privileged overlords. Unfortunately this one performs like George Costanza after an Adderall. Calling him 'inexperienced' would a compliment, HAHA.
Lewdness is lewdness, I don't judge. But when you start leaving business cards (8:45) next to the finest Persian faux synthetic vinyl leather @ TGI Fridays you just soiled, we're on the verge of crossing boundaries M'LADY.
2 things I value more than Arby's 5 for $5: One involves quilted toilet paper & pressure assisted toilets. The other is women so into their fantasies, they don't even need a costar to bring da squeeze. Today, 1 wish gets granted.