Date: 07/03/15 | Views: 18236 | Category: Bizarre

Everybody is born with a gift. Unfortunately theirs is about as useful as Bruce Jenner's vagina. Sure, they can trace the history of the gluteus maximus via one touch, but will that really help greet us at Walmart?

Date: 07/02/15 | Views: 45534 | Category: LMAO

Not since the time I used Canadian nickles on a stripper named Twin Peaks have I seen such disrespect for fat tits. But unlike my ban from The Bush Co. - these BBW whisperers have zero intent of letting this poor soul go.

Date: 07/01/15 | Views: 72314 | Category: Fights

Being held hostage by a post-op a-hole? Sounds like his birthday came early. That is, until he realizes this culo hits like Mike Tyson on payday. The aroma of quepapas may fade, but the complimentary rhinoplasty is forever.

Date: 06/30/15 | Views: 62528 | Category: Ouch

Nothing gets clicks quite like scenes of unsuspected sauce tossing. So here's 45 minutes of them. You read that right: FORTY FIVE - as in the number of erections I get during one episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Date: 06/29/15 | Views: 88959 | Category: Fappers

He's got a thing for hookers. But why repeatedly plop down $6.00 & a can of Mr. Pibb on the only one in town that looks/sounds/smells like Yoda? I'll tell you why Blanco Nino. Tolerance. And the 1:00 mark proves it.

Date: 06/28/15 | Views: 71388 | Category: Hookers

Dude's got the acting ability of a Salvadorian gardener. Know what that means? He's the LeVar Burton of gonzo porn. And what better way to assert your supremacy than to skull fuck a girl cosplaying as a 105 lb turd? GG

Date: 06/27/15 | Views: 120485 | Category: Porn

I like how he keeps his hands above her waist, so as to not make contact with her genitals. Cuz a fingerbang would be over the line, whereas gagging on last week's dodger dog in front of 78 people is just a-oh-fucking-k.

Date: 06/26/15 | Views: 85829 | Category: Voyeur

Stripping: aka the quintessential stepping stone to full blown porno. Most trailer park residents cross over ASAP - but chances are they weren't gifted the Carrot Top prop-bag of genitalia. This ones gonna be just fine.

Date: 06/25/15 | Views: 85214 | Category: Asians

Sexual sideshow derailed when a stripper makes an unexpected visit to La'Vons dirt dungeon. Life Lesson #293: When someone writes hoop dreams on their BlackPeopleMeet profile, it's not always about basktball.

Date: 06/24/15 | Views: 122688 | Category: Surprise

Ladies: Break out the Spider-Man Trapper Keeper and a pen cuz it's note-taking time. Men: Make room in the bookmarks for a chick that uses all orifices like a foot locker between flights from Costa Rica to the US and A.

Date: 06/23/15 | Views: 103642 | Category: Webcams

I like how porn has evolved from sex, into a demanding business of who's more willing to use their vagina as a garbage can. Dare penetrate this one's genitalia and you'll be balls deep in sexual fossils of yesteryear. 10/10

Date: 06/22/15 | Views: 113821 | Category: Teen

Dude's hung like a Tijuana donkey. Most guys with such gifts would just throw on the Bugle Boy cut-offs and hit the boardwalk. Not this centaur. He loves to socialize.

Date: 06/21/15 | Views: 102361 | Category: Big Dicks

1 part mystery, 13 parts WTF. Confusion starts with the Thor-like climax at 2:44. Said goober then begins to flop around like an adderall-deficient retard. WHY? Only his gyno and Shaquille O'Neal's wife have that answer.

Date: 06/20/15 | Views: 108259 | Category: Amateur

Upside to weighing less than the Ethiopian you met at a Paramore concert? Horse cock status, from all angles. 1 suggestion tho: Take a blowtorch to that haircut before Tampax hires you as their new spokesperson. Trust me.

Date: 06/19/15 | Views: 92672 | Category: WTF

Juanita makes her man eject his muscle milk faster than middle-aged women at a Chris Pratt movie, all by simply lowering her Levis & counting to 60. A critical mistake, but one you will masturbate to first and then criticize.

Date: 06/18/15 | Views: 96781 | Category: Premature

1 girl does in 3 minutes what Lebron James couldn't do for 8 years: seal the deal. Her secret? Sandpappering her genitals like a 2x4. Not impressed? Check 1:52 for a battlecry that would make William Wallace shit his kilt.

Date: 06/17/15 | Views: 134277 | Category: Amateur

It's all fun & games until you give a 27-year-old YOLO enthusiast a colossal erection. He was given 0 access to the fur burger, he went for the 2 finger handshake. Some call it sexual assault. I prefer "breaking the ice".

Date: 06/16/15 | Views: 121013 | Category: Surprise

A romp in the ol rusty bullet hole goes sour once this underachiever realizes she just accepted a check her starfish can't cash. But blinded by fame and $47, she forges on. Result? Porn that demands a mute button.

Date: 06/15/15 | Views: 100730 | Category: Ouch

FACT: 99.98% of YouTube prank videos are faker than every head of hair behind a Burger King cash register. But this GF bitch puts legitimacy to the final test when she commits testicular revenge not yet documented.

Date: 06/14/15 | Views: 91930 | Category: Bitches