I guess having sex isn't considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany
Certainly not the first time this hypebeast has staged an attack on Anal Island, and clearly not the last. Feel free to experiment next time - maybe deposit a Twinkie beforehand? It's called The Moist Gremlin. I invented it.
Swinging: A behavior generally reserved for degenerate adults that need something to do in between collecting food stamps and using Redbox. The girl are always a mess. Proof: Skeletor's deflated balloon knot @ 8:11 mark.
Not since the porn renaissance of the 1990's have I seen an incest video with such curiously high realism value. I dig it man. A lot. It has integrity. Know who doesn't have integrity? THESE FUCKS. Nuke them, fap to this.
Downside of being 36 & still livin at home? Besides the 8AM line for toaster strudels, every time u wanna expand your sex life, you gotta come up with degenerate fuckery like this that gets exposed mid-Thanksgiving dinner.
Actually he might not be a chauffeur at all. But that handful of good wood & her look of disgust are legit. Probably the most offensive thing she's seen since Whole Foods forgot to use the right pronouns on their avocados haha
When all your knowledge of sexual intercourse comes from Shake Weight infomercials, this is the result. Also: We may have just uncovered a skill so damn useless, even California colleges won't offer a degree for it.
Increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female is a total swipe-right. Her snargleburger gets more attention than a Worldcup overtime game & all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
18 & doesn't know what an orgasm is. But here, all that matters is the size of your imagination... and truthfully speaking, dude got a fat one. Emphasis on proportions. That clit looks like a deflated water balloon glued to straw...
I understand your quest to be submerged in as much teenage sphincter as possible - but when it takes more negotiations than the first half of the NBA draft, your twat officially gets sent to back of the lunch line. yahurdmeh?
You can go ahead and brag about your 13 pounds of lethal force all you want. If you're not using it to turn white vagina into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as an eye test is to this girl.
It's a shame they didn't take this a step further and use their natural resistance to pain and turn her crusty doughnut into a cut of roast beef the diameter of a Mazda Miatia. Then maybe I could have ejaculated today...
Unwritten rules of the practicing date rapist: #1 Lack of hygiene, #2 Look as much like George Lopez as possible and #3 Outdoing WWE's last PPV n both precision and dynamic move sets. Looks like this scumquat is 3 for 3.
Cute Girls + Public Exploration: It's a combo 2nd only to Souplantation and Charmin Ultra Soft. Add the rush of getting caught busting one out next to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and you got wife material my friend.
LIFE LESSON #387: If your name ends in Gomez, Garcia or Gonzales - stay the fuck away from Craigslist ads with the words interesting trades in them. The 50 pesos are temporary. A disfigured esophagus is forever, BROTHER.
Antonio does in 1 minute what takes the customer service line at Walmart an entire afternoon to do: Completely crushes and eradicate a white girl's spirit. Don't get swindled by the thumbnail, you have not seen this version.
a.k.a small wiener compensation. It happens when homebois packing less meat than a vegetarian cafe get discouraged by their girl's lack of excitement. Sounding like the immigrant from That 70's Show is optional.
A penis that needs it's own life boat, and an insanely high tolerance for pain. If there ever was an instructional video on why to lock the fucking door in public places, I'd declare these two just laid the groundwork for a sequel.
Defined as: "a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience" And that's just ONE paragraph of his Plenty of Fish profile.