You can go ahead and brag about your 13 pounds of lethal force all you want. If you're not using it to turn white vagina into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as an eye test is to this girl.
It's a shame they didn't take this a step further and use their natural resistance to pain and turn her crusty doughnut into a cut of roast beef the diameter of a Mazda Miatia. Then maybe I could have ejaculated today...
Unwritten rules of the practicing date rapist: #1 Lack of hygiene, #2 Look as much like George Lopez as possible and #3 Outdoing WWE's last PPV n both precision and dynamic move sets. Looks like this scumquat is 3 for 3.
Cute Girls + Public Exploration: It's a combo 2nd only to Souplantation and Charmin Ultra Soft. Add the rush of getting caught busting one out next to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and you got wife material my friend.
LIFE LESSON #387: If your name ends in Gomez, Garcia or Gonzales - stay the fuck away from Craigslist ads with the words interesting trades in them. The 50 pesos are temporary. A disfigured esophagus is forever, BROTHER.
Antonio does in 1 minute what takes the customer service line at Walmart an entire afternoon to do: Completely crushes and eradicate a white girl's spirit. Don't get swindled by the thumbnail, you have not seen this version.
a.k.a small wiener compensation. It happens when homebois packing less meat than a vegetarian cafe get discouraged by their girl's lack of excitement. Sounding like the immigrant from That 70's Show is optional.
A penis that needs it's own life boat, and an insanely high tolerance for pain. If there ever was an instructional video on why to lock the fucking door in public places, I'd declare these two just laid the groundwork for a sequel.
Defined as: "a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience" And that's just ONE paragraph of his Plenty of Fish profile.
The infamous one and only video of Megan Madsen. An over-privileged LAFS film student that for some reason decided to do a single porn flick 'for fun'... only to end up borderline autistic after an onslaught of climaxes.
The younger the college girl, the further they have to go for attention. A simple concept officially reinfoced thanks to this 97lbs of solid skankarooni. I'll put it plainly: watching this forced me to get vaccinated, it's that trashy.
Contrary to appearance, she didn't beat herself to death with a Dashboard Confessional CD after this wound up online. But her usefulness is spent faster than a black man's paycheck at Footlocker so... fap with +5 to agility.
Sadie Pop You can go ahead and just consider this neurotic little twat the Meryl Streep of fake incest porn. She method acts, has a room temperature IQ and is just hoping to get the next Academy Award for muffin stuffin.
Schizoid games a Tinder.com soft-6 with an afternoon of bumper cars and Red Lobster... only to slip a couple of Oxycontin in her Admiral's Feast. The end result? 100% unadulterated, unfiltered autism around the 9:30 mark.
If pornography has taught me anything, it's middle-aged women genuinely love genitalia that is commonly mistaken for mining equipment. Except this one. Clearly we're dealing with a special kind of snowflake feminist here.
Mayli/Amelia Wang: Daughter of Vice President of Goldmann Sachs. Rich, classical pianist, an artist. Then bitch does a life-ruining facial abuse scene for $200 just to stick it to daddy. Made me understand women a lot better.
Two things I refuse to do: 1) Sign for packages with the word "CONGO" on them. and 2) Bullshit my users. That said, this video is pretty basic... but the girl is H-O-T, and her abs are harder than my dick in a Serbian whorehouse.