Frontal lobe ruthlessly attacked at the hands of a guy that considers Home Depot's hardware dpt EROTIC. No, this isn't my review for the newest ISIS video. It's the Citizen Kane of tardgasms, and you need to see it to the end.
A coworker at Little Caesars once told me she used the side of a Redbull can to pleasure herself. She said the feeling of her deep-dish pizza bowl being grinded made her cum instantaneously. Is that what's going on here?
Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal fortitude. She's got standards brah. Know who doesn't have standards? THIS WIND TUNNEL. #sendhelp
Are you seeing that body language? I know that body language. Roughly translated it means: if you pull out again, I'll park my Kia Soul in your asshole next time you fall asleep. Go ahead, ask me. Ask me how I know.
Not since walking into a waffle house at 2 AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of a brown female. And just like the riot that ended that night, he has no intent of letting $39 worth of plastic surgery go to waste.
When your rusty bag is knee-level, and the age of medicare is on the horizon - maybe being labeled a sexual predator becomes the least of your problems? For everyone else: You probably shouldn't even attempt this.
Self-proclaimed Fap Ninja adds another accolade to her resume, in the form of Nicholas Cage's School of Acting graduate. An unfortunately accurate title you'll agree with when you question your purpose in life around 18:00.
This is standard Asian our music sounds like squirrels in a woodchipper, but if I put my mouth on your cock you won't notice it syndrome. Fortunately, science has gifted us the video to accompany this diss track. #springbreak
Degenerate hoebag works feverishly to get sexually assaulted by a guy with more V's in his name than a Russian dictionary... and doesn't come close to succeeding. Enjoy your 0-star YELP review Victor Vahdeem Vyachvyeslahv!
Can't imagine how many E.R. vists had to be falsified before she found the sweet spot. I respect the exploration, but the only road this fetish ultimately leads to is Dennis Rodman and strategically placed cream cheese.
Becky shats herself upon realizing her next FB Live appearance won't be a pretty one. I haven't seen such an intense look of confusion and despair since that time I got caught beta testing display toilets at Home Depot.
I can understand the incestual story arch. I'll look past the iPhone 3 camera quality. But the no-hesitation, double-dip taste-test of his own pearl jam at 7:22 mark? UNFUCKINGFORGIVABLE you incomplete, slovenly shit donut.
Nothing goes viral quite like middle-aged salmon canyons... so here's 2 minutes worth of the best in the biz. Too old for the bullshit, too young for the metamucil. This is something I like to call: middle ground (and pound).
A hygiene level commonly found in an Arby's handicap toilet has applied itself to this girl's rectal passage. Not shocking... but Clorox may have found it's new spokeswoman. Another desperate cry for anal bleaching HERE
Take notes ladies. If your class isn't flocking to extra credit assignments like political correctness to H&M, then you're doing it wrong. Honor rollers, detention scholars - nobody is safe from the charm of this dump truck.
Avoiding all things Comic Con related? Big mistake, Chad. Disregard the 'i lost my virginity to a life-sized cardboard cutoff of David Hasselhoff' look. This chick is DTF, TMI and AIDS all wrapped into one neat little package.
Coors Light connoisseur zones out her surroundings long enough to focus on better things. I.E. getting a faceful of Kentucky's finest into her minge. I'm waiting for the sequel. Where Lester makes a b-line for that b-hole.