Don't be fooled by the "i collect exotic toothpastes and I'm saving my G-spot for Sonic the Hedgehog" appearance. She may look like Velma Dinky, but this is no sex newb. Your always 1 Spawn comic book away from entering snatch city.
Show me a woman that puts this much effort into her homemade skin flicks, and I'll show you the kind of divorced mother of 3 I want Dr. Phil to dedicate an entire episode to. cash me outside the 7-11 begging for beef jerkey, how bout dat?
The planet's newest trend: Introducing your significant other to a man with more meat than Texas butcher shop... and then watching her get dismantled by it. Not my cup of Mountain Dew, but that might be due to not having a Reddit account.
1 video, 5 minutes, no name. The identity race started in this thread and has now spread around porn sites faster than genital warts at an Insane Clown Posse concert. Four weeks later and we still have nothing but dick rash to show for it...
I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap
Communal Service Porn: Sometimes it's about as exhilarating as an audio book of Warren Buffet customizing a footlong at Subway. But throw in a bazooka for a cock and a husband that can speak Klingon and it suddenly becomes legendary.
Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino... but trust me - there isn't enough blackmarket dick pills to hammer through this one.
The biggest downside of following an all-turnip and gluten free water diet? Your soy boy body produces less testosterone than a chipmunk's nutsac. Speaking of nutsacs - take that fucking thing to biology class & leave it there, Foreman. srsly
Basically a public service announcement on the pros and cons of using Tinder in New Orleans. Some live to tell the tale. Others are in diapers at the age of 27. All have an abnormally intimate relationship with Newport cigarettes and gravy.
Symptom #271 you need to move out of the trailer park: You stumble upon footage of Mom getting smacked around with more meat than a Texas butcher shop... and rather than running for the hills, you sit down & start planning sequels.
Adding battle scars to a girl that gave your boyfriend's sausage roll the ole' khlav kalash and getting it on video? Those are the best things you can live vicariously through the Internet & today 2 birds get killed with 1 Russian #metoo movement.
Personal gifts are a welcomed sight here on Inhumanity, but this particular video isn't about the flaps of her hammy - It's about capacity. Her wizard sleeve goes deeper than Inception fan fiction, and you can officially color me IMPRESSED.
Today we're going to learn 3 imporant things, so find your trapper keeper and listen closely: #1: Shamelessness is alive and well. #2: Usage of a pretty girl is negotiable. And #3: A guy shaped like GRU has seen more action than me today.
Lookout world, this eroding shit stain has no limits. He also has a group of friends that lost their virginitys to a series of mail-order body pillows. Keep these 2 details in mind - it's the closest clue you're gonna get as to why the fuck this was filmed.