Tired of beating off to the same old ASMR fantasy videos, and want the next best thing? How about a sexually-inept Nigerian that looks more helpless than DJ Khaled in front of 10,000 vegetarians? you played yaself.
You can't recover from this. She'll forever been known as the poster girl for autism in porn. She's essentially a walking, twitching, Reddit activist, yet she stays in good spirit no matter the chromosomes. I like dat, but I dont love it.
This is sure to peak any cougar fantasies you may be struggling with today. It will also kill all hope you have at another sites video titles being authentic.
Pretty sure I uncovered an ancient dialect. I dub it squirrelwhorian. Kinda like Spanglish: it cant be taught, only invoked. Japanese electronics required.
A little wisdom I picked up watching Joe Fowler's Paint Zoom infomercial: Proper preparation is key. Think it cant apply to assfuckery? Neither did she.
14 minutes of Internet fame, and this elementary educated twat turns into the Floyd Mayweather of porn auditions. In other words: You'll pay good money to watch her in action, but only after she shuts the fuck up.
Not 1, but a ménage à trois of Harambe dicks go into attack formation, and she couldn't give less than a shit. srsly, I've seen more concern in a Walmart service line than this war-torn slut has for the function of her cornhole.
Listen homie, I've seen some pretty deplorable shit in my day: Guadalajarian safari porn, erotic photos of Dennis Rodman, Birdemic. But THIS? This shit had my complete attention for all 40.5 damn minutes. #MAKEASEQUEL
No lies: This video sucks. Except the 4 secs between 4:12-4:16 when it looks like every bad life decision and this morning's Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl came back to haunt her at the same time. She freezes, I nut, you bookmark.
Super cute face. Could almost pass for an Olsen twin. Unfortunately her fermenting twat looks like something out of an XXX remake of ALF. I can smell the mother fuckin' Wisconsin sharp cheddar cheese from here brah.
What weighs 245lbs, has the lower body of a centaur, and enjoys turning female genitalia into mashed potatoes? This couple's hired gun... and he's not even at full power yet. More unidentifiable rectum sodomy HERE
How to make your absurd family tree porn 50x better: Cast actors that don't look like they crawled out of Danny Bonaduce's asshole after a 2 night stay in Tijuana. That's what people want: To FAP. Not FAP and instantly regret it.
After banging a good 85% of the Czech Republic's population, he finally broke unfamiliar ground: A mint condition hymen... and an uneducated one at that. She taps out quicker than me during the Baywatch movie.
In hindsight, his future of being casted in the Harry and the Henderson's reboot would've been just as humiliating as this act of penis de résistance. But Hollywood doesn't have a 3" Jason Statham. Make that resume count.
Her claim to fame is deplorable, and that front seat probably smells like a Chinese cat house. But when the pants come off at 0:34 seconds, her hips look like they can survive giving birth to Danny Devito & its fuckin beautiful.
Okay I lied. Shes neither popular, nor is this a party. Shes Josefina, master of attention whoring & STD aficionado. Moral of the story: Test first, Lick later.
If there's 1 thing short-haired white wimmen are really good at, aside from demanding special treatment at discount clothing stores, it's living out depraved sexual fantasies. And this one just boggles my fucking mind.
Never seen a guy struggle to have sexual intercourse so confidently before. Its as if his portfolio of previous partners includes Pringles cans & Bill Cosby.
44 fucking minutes of footage, and I still don't know if this girl is a dwarf or I'm getting hoodwinked my creative camera angles again. Luckily, my family-sized jug of coconut oil has run dry and I've already stopped caring.
My gut instinct tells me this technology isn't going away anytime soon... but I do find the idea of beating Slovakian hookers to death with this thing in Grand Theft Auto 7: 3D VR compelling. Consider me pre-ordered, Rockstar.
Much like the Fast and Furious franchise, this went from mildly amusing to, "it's time to stop" pretty damn quickly. Tipping point involves an ass to mouth audible plan B rejection after failing to fly the dick ship to Uranus.
This is actually standard British "I can't be arsed to dig up 17£ for my own hooker, so I'm gonna watch you do it for free" syndrome. Fortunately, this time we have a gentleman showing us the ropes. u da man Sebastian
