Only 1 thing compliments the feel of a holiday weekend - And that's getting more rash on your crotch from a guy you salad-tossed in the toilet of a Portuguese farmhouse. Note to those inbreds in the last clip: Just end the bloodline here.
Seems straight-forward to me: Her vageen has the width of printer paper & he's hung like the Houston Rocket's starting lineup. Uncertainty should be expected.
Around one minute in she dropped ^this gem of a line. Listen lady: If you think struggling to catch your breath while a man plunders your shit basket for blood diamonds is amazing, we really need to know how you celebrate Hanukkah.
Don't know the movie, don't give a shit either. But I have no doubt this surprise walkout was caused by a combination of: tucked wiener, unkempt rectal regions and chainsmoking the likes of which Alabama trailer parks have yet to experience.
Never underestimate the benefits of a 3-star YELP hotel that recycles toilet paper. You may leave with a more diseased crotch than all 97-years of Madonna's world tours combined... but the stories you'll be able to tell will be legendary. #facts
Increasingly questionable video of a threesome that picked the wrong day to be recorded without sound. Don't worry tho, I'm a pro. And it's my personal opinion that at least two of these participants regularly use Midol and Tampax.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
Deprived china girl volunteers her noodle bowl on Craigslist to anyone with working legs, free of charge. But instead of spacing out the locally unemployed, she hits one after another w/o as much as a Summer's Eve bath in between.
Girls in the midwest: theyre usually as exciting an audio book of Al Gore erotic fan fiction. But throw in an exciting subplot & it becomes TOLERABLE FAPPERINOS.
Honestly I have no clue who Nina Zrenjanin is, nor do I feel like sacrificing 14 seconds to Google translate Swedish Yiddish into Americano. But judging by the amount of raw meat here, it's safe to say she's not famous for being vegan.
My first 'pay-to-play' was in a McD toilet stall. She was more Kurt Perry than Katy Perry, pretty foul. Not even a replay of Heather Graham's bush in Boogie Nights changed the mood. But... if I had this guy's attitude? Life would be different.
Talk about pathetic. Listen Patrick, when it comes time to splurge your hanukkah nickles this season - make a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
I've seen a lot of desperation in my day... but damn near 4 fucking hours of mid-production skin flicks trying to pass themselves off as revenge porn? I would say the Internet has officially reached a new low... but buzzfeed.com still exists.
How/Why semi-concious females go on the hunt for ding dongs that can literally rearrange their organs is beyond my knowledge. Clearly Arya Fae's parents didn't raise no bitch. Now... call Shaquille o'Neal and lets finish this snuff film right.
I'm digging the pre-sodimizing acting. That's what porn is missing: A relatable leading actress that's been kicked out of Big Bang Theory's catering truck. Twice.
Not exactly building an impressive resume when 2 1/2 inches of Alabama's finest sends you running for the Neosporin. This might interfere with her 5-year plan.
Some people will watch this and see a beautiful free spirit. Others will shower their routers in ammonia and set their monitor on fire. But me? All I see is a girl that gives 0 fucks about gender neautral bathrooms. Call me Mr. Positivity.
aye, I'm thinking it might be best if you restrict all incoming traffic to the front of your body. Either that, or stop shopping for clientele at zoo entrances. Another few years of this and even a Jewish butcher won't be discounting that meat pile.
#21 is the one you're looking for. Quite possibly the most impressive pair of grass-fed sweater cows that will ever grace your 13" Hewlett Packard computer monitor.
And by gangbang I mean one single sexually inept man losing his virginity, while Oscar De Lahoya's 2 cousins spectate. Only thing missing is a Mariachi band and that one token black guy repeatedly screaming "wurlstar". Cut and reshoot, thx.
21+ minutes of implied incest porn even Dr. Phil wouldn't touch. I think it's pretty safe to say 2018 has officially jumped the shark when it comes to sister fucking.
