Well shit, I have a first edition Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs double-pack for anyone that can track down a girl like this that actually responds to chivalry. No charge for the designer skidmarks. You can find more of her defilement [ here ]
Good luck catching a glimpse of tier-A poon like this around the corner from Pizza Hut express. It might be time for me to dust off the ole passport and start getting that cultural diversity CNN is screeching about. [MORE OF HER HERE]
This is pretty standard 'i drank 2 whole Coronas at once and had sex with a house plant' plot lines. But our lead actress still has some explaining to do. [more here]
While you're gallivanting around the Internet, sampling the finest OnlyFans trailer park hotdog water like it's a tour of NAPA, I'm out here finding the ones worthy of giving up a value meal to free up funds for. We are not the same. More: [-HERE-]
If it's rare to find a meat mop worth spending money on to access, then ur lookin at the shark attack of OF girls. Her proof? The near-zero mileage below the waistline and having more tolerance than me watching The Marvels. [more here]
Free Wisdom: Never underestimate a female's determination to rearrange her upper respiratory system. You'll just end up scratching your head and/or crotch like you left a Persian strip club. iow: shit's fire yo. [OnlyFans Profile]
Well, here it is. The Citizen Kane of "i watched a man more deteriorated than Mick Jagger's asshole fuck my mentally ill sister" videos. Actually... I'm not entire sure Mick Jagger is dead or not, but I'm positive he hasn't been alive since the '87 tour.
Don't let the impressive tits and hollow brain cavity fool you: Porn is the last place she should be showcasing her talents. More inept intercourse HERE
Contrary to her appearance, lead-role acting isn't really this girl's specialty. Her BA in theater was more wasted than a Chinese man's pension check in a casino. But all of that's okay when you can see 360 degrees at all times.
Cam whore #2817 has an unintentional FML moment after realizing her 6 inch friend has swam into deeper waters. Luckily she's prepared: Squat, push and cross your tits the breakfast burrito bowl doesn't come out with it.
Desperate for fame and isn't afraid of lying on her resume. If these aren't the quintessential ingredients to be Nacho Vidal's next penis ornament, I don't know what is. Now save up those Pesos and fly the U.S and A. kthx.
Her body language alone made the P-to-B transaction less probable than Bob Barker headlining UFC 215. Best she sticks to stuff she's good at. Like shopping at Warby Parker & picketing Chipotle. 'straight to A' isnt her thing.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2-mile radius was no problemo. But ~60 secs of churning butt butter? GAME OVER. Ladies and gents: I present to you the enigma of Asian scrag hags.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
Props to guy laying pipe. I haven't heard a teenager whine that ambiguously since that time I was caught defecating in the Blockbuster drop-box in protest to late fees on my rental of Johnny Mnemonic. FULL SCENE HERE
This is classic. She literally goes from chowing down her own buttmud like a malnourished Nigerian, to straight up protesting a facial. Apparently the Woodman School of Rectology isn't as diverse as originally thought, HAHA.
Russia: Some go for the stroganoff. Others go to stir up enough friction to earn a campfire badge. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Leninade, then he hits that dirty squirrel like life depends on it. A role model, if u will.
Only 2 people should never be caught doing the forbidden fox trot: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Clorox' phase, and this girl. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for Efukt.
After banging a good 85% of the Czech Republic's population, he finally broke unfamiliar ground: A mint condition hymen... and an uneducated one at that. She taps out quicker than me during the Baywatch movie.
Believe it or not, cornpocket sodomy is her favorite pastime. That crater has no fear, but 2:05 is where she crossed the line into WIFE MATERIAL. I vow to thee: Hottest Autistic I'd Lose a Custody Battle To. Run with it.
Not since the release of The Human Centipede have I seen a person's genitals put in such a 1-sided battle. She fucks the Predator of ass rippage, cries legit tears & has a rage quit that would make Kanye West jealous.
James Randi said it couldn't be done. Man vs. Wild won't do an episode on it. But thanks to Alexis Perez we now have solid proof that if your clitoris has been neglected by daddy long enough, anything is possible.
A democratic acquaintance at Chipotle has long told me African American men and white cops simply don't get along. After seeing Tyrone Kobe Jermaine Javarie get bullied into BBW twat, I understand why.
The Dating Playbook by Andrew Ferebee. Buy yourself TWO copies. Cause the current approach of turning your dick into a secret item on the Buffalo Wild Wings menu isn't really panning out, brah. More HERE.
