A hearty "FUCK YOU" to whoever said portable meat satchels can't get you laid. This man's lust for affordable nutrition on-the-go just netted him enough tier-2 tuna casserole to earn a Martha Stewart seal of approval. #putthatontelevision
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
[0:26] mark for the health care assistant in question. Just don't bypass that first video, which apparently features a fucking Carbuncle climaxing for the first time.
Ass gets treated like the bed liner of Ford F-150 with 8 digits on the clock, yet she remains calm and collected. Even goes as far as to request moar dick. Lady; Any further into that monkey biscuit, and this will be classified a medical procedure.
I can't tell if this is actually something people are into, or some sort of structural building block of postmodernism porn. Send this to Jordan Peterson and find out.
And by destroyed I obviously mean pleasantly surprised by an erection that didn't need to pass three different piss tests in order to make it past her cotton candy canoe. I've been told that's considered a delicacy in the gluten-free community.
Well the video is pixelated just enough to make you think this is one of those rare authentic moments, forever immortalized in 240p. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Does the BOGO pack of Dick's roller blade skate socks ur using as cum rag really care?
So... what's the explanation this time? Normally guys looking like the result of crossbreeding Napoleon Dynamite with an eggplant are incapable of securing women of this quality. Edit: nvm I just realized those are tits and not her thighs.
Sorry, don't have a name for you. She's no Riley Star - the only pornstar I've ever actually bothered to remember. Why? 'cause at her peak she was 18, anorexic and had the face of Sabrina The Teenage Witch, minus that googly eye. Marry me.
This is all but guaranteed to eradicate any story you may have been led to believe about how hard it is to bang an established pornstar. Don't be misled by this man's total lack of enthusiasm: Your hunt of commissioned snapper begins now.
A lottta girls do a lotta desperate ass shit to keep their social media accounts popular... but risking the corona just just to keep buttsludge69 amused? That's a level of hoe-cope I hope to never meet outside of a Papa Johns bathroom stall.
Of all the story lines you could possibly choose from, expedited shipping would be last on my fucking list. Then again, so would paying autistic girls in Walmart gift cards to round out your threesome... so maybe I just don't see the vision.
I'm not even talking about the staged booze in her hand. I mean the necessity of being inebriated to go skin on skin with Trevor Phillips being much more potent than anything Budweiser could dream of cramming into a single serve bottle.
Body looks like a desk in Chicago classroom, but the face is still thriving. If she can continue keeping the needlework below the neckline, she'll be able to claim she's 18 years old for another two decades. And that's called investing in your future.
Apparently The Queen of Dragons has discovered a new way to supplement her income after the 8th season. I'm eagerly looking forward to the spinoff episodes.
Great ass. Clear skin. But what really activated my pinto beans is the length she goes for a couple thousand views and 1 comment from p00njabiw4rrior82x. Take notes ladies: It's this work ethic that makes you go from "girlfriend" to "girlwife".
Same guy teh hub. Apparently he's made quite a name for himself by power blasting any willing participant in a 20 mile radius. College level? Menopausal? It literally doesn't matter. If it's got 2 legs and purchases Vagisil, he'll get active.
Not even 3 minutes worth of video and I'm already left questioning the future human beings have on this planet. Remember: This is all pre-pandemic. #dead
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
There's only one reason people storyboard, shoot, edit and upload this kind of shit to the Internet. And it lives somewhere in between "I need to pay my taxes" and "$1 dollar pizza slices make me shit blood". Just three of life's little guarantees.
Yet another societal derelict proving anything and everything you come across on social media is about as real as Tyson vs. Paul. Moment of silence for the tier-3's.
