Can't imagine how many Walmart bed sheets had to be scrapped during her rookie years training for this moment. Clearly dealing with a team player here.
original title:selfie to make your day better. Listen bitch; 7 hrs ago it seemed like a good idea to eat 64 slices of American Cheese & wash it down with gin. Unless u have a sewing kit & extensive knowledge of battle wounds, ur request is denied.
Big wtf @ #3. She taps out, instigates a fist fight and then concludes that all in all it was "fun and amazing". No lady. Going diarrhea in a community pool overun by minorities is fun and amazing. What happened to u was unceremoniously brutal.
Dude has an 85/15 ball-to-cock ratio and a girlfriend that could vacuum a house without ever plugging a cord in. Should I be jealous or order some saline or... ?
bbKitten. She's 5 foot 2, barely 100lbs and every time that sphincter is put under pressure, her expression looks like Billie Eilish after being told she has to stop looking like a chain-smoking trailer park supervisor for more than 18 seconds.
Probably spends more time configuring Starbucks drinks than guarding her icloud act. But I gotta say; nice tits. Coming from me it's the compliment of a LIFETIME.
1 part hypebeast, 14 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much faith, do not try this one at home.
If anything at all you need to click this for the masterpiece around the 2:00 mark. Akuma's pressure game looks unstoppable in Street Fighter VI. #pickatoptier
The upside to being treated like the exhaust pipe of a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is breath and the alpha male fantasy fan fiction will magnetize to you like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
$20.00 and the last bite of my Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper says she uses dumbass phrases like "amazeballs and ""awesome sauce" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in my bushes with a camera again mother fucker". Typical millennial.
It could be legit. This wouldn't be the first time a college bro agreed to sample some expired salami in exchange for living rent-free. Annnnd it won't be the last.
Imagine putting trust in a man that has been through this disaster and lived to tell the tale. Time for Alyssa to pack up those meatballs and reassess the future.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's said "i' use dijon mustard as lubricant with for neighbor's mailbox" at Thanksgiving dinner, u can slap my bag & call me Sally. Now flip her over - I don't think Lorenzo got enough AIDS during his first pump.
sry, can't verify more than 1% of these participants are married. But tomorrow is 3:16 day and I've had enough pre-gamed steveweisers to make that ninja turtle in the 1st pic look doable. All I'm sayin is, the garbanzo bean has been activated.
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burns.
Emphasis on those gravity bags at 5:00 too. Jell-o has spent 100 years marketing physics like this and have failed miserably in comparison. Turns out all you need is a 1-bedroom apartment in Latvia and a c-section scar to make math fun again.
Keep an eye on the turd parked in the corner on the right side of your screen. After being denied physical contact multiple times his only recourse is a pity self-jerk as reality slowly punches him the face: Beavis & Butthead had a third friend.
New Fetish Unlocked: Making your significant other spurge around the bedroom like she has a car battery jump starting her urethra. Except this is the version where you don't have to outbid Billy Ballsac on that 1972 Datsun rebuild first.
The ultimate persuasion (see: 40+ reasons) to get you down to the clinic and tested for everything from butt crabs to wiener warts. Seriously, if doctors hung photos like this on the wall I would predict a 37% decline in controllable STDs.
What exactly is the relationship between having the base requirements for your own Discovery Channel special & malnourished white women? We need answers.
Turns out fertilizing your own family tree isn't the only extra curricular activity people practice in Frogballs, Arkansas. Just don't be misled by The Rat King's lack of hygiene; Your respect for the modern day alpha male begins here and now.
Personal gifts are a welcomed sight on Inhumanity, but this particular video isn't about the flaps of her hammy - It's about maximum capacity. That wizard sleeve goes deeper than Kanye West fan fiction & you can officially color me impressed.
