In what seems to be an effort to ultimately rent her asshole out as an airport hangar, siswet has once again pushed the envelope on what is considered 'regular rectology'. This time, taking Keemstar straight into the promised land.
The sequel in one website's crusade to help the world with an unspoken problem. The Machine is back, and this time; no cornhole will be spared. 1st VIDEO HERE
This is standard im having a midlife crisis so I'm gonna Photoshop the shit out of my tits and make an IG account syndrome. Fortunately, the Internet has given us the gift of social media to watch the eventual jump into Walmart parking lot porn.
#nostalgia Just scroll to 1:22 and remember what it was like when the only thing that mattered in life was how low you could get your ping on a 56k modem, and your stock of BAWLS GAMER JUICE. Truly a simpler time for a simpler world.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern technology yields impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to take a 7-second jump roping class and gouge my fucking eyes out with a melon baller.
If we could go ahead and get an ID on her, that would be fantastic. Try to time it around the Black Friday sales on 10-packs of tube socks if possible. Appreciate it.
What happens when you combine the Czech Republic with Gordon Ramsay's internship program, and secure funding from George Soros? uhh, I'll let you know after my parents unblock me after accidentally linking them to this video lmao
Rebecca's first time in Stinktown USA proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. Binging Dr. Phil episodes is going to erase this memory faster than me getting permabanned from Home Depot for stress testing toilet displays.
Ever find yourself asking the question: What would happen if you spiked Freddy Kreuger's Ambien with boner pills, let Michael Myers into a glory hole and told Jason Voorhees that teenage pussy has a better use than pitchfork storage?
Nothing special here. Just your yearly reminder that her rockbottom, last attempt to stay relevant-sex tape has not been created yet. But trust me... it's priced in.
Tired of jacking off to the same old fantasies of Cardi B in a bath tub full of Velveeta cheese and want the next best thing? How about the bi-product of a 50,000-Karma Reddit account? I'm talking fatal levels of simp neckbearding here.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how far into insanity social media and attention whoring has pushed society. Crazyshit.com makes these Efukt-ish videos regularly and they officially changed my life for the worse. More [HERE]
Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's tard sister on Southpark. What I really want to know is what's up with this new trend of bodily fluids being replaced with Nickelodean slime. And I want to know now.
Her name is "Alisonfire" but I prefer the moniker "reason I have to buy 2-ply toilet paper in bulk". Fun Fact #1: She's famous for making the world wait half a decade for wiener-on-vag action. Fun Fact #2: 173,000 of her Pornhub views are from me.
Today we're going to learn 3 imporant things, so find your trapper keeper and listen closely: #1: Shamelessness is alive and well. #2: Usage of a pretty girl is negotiable. And #3: A guy shaped like GRU has seen more action than me today.
Don't know the movie, don't give a shit either. But I have no doubt this surprise walkout was caused by a combination of: tucked wiener, unkempt rectal regions and chainsmoking the likes of which Alabama trailer parks have yet to experience.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
I'm digging the pre-sodimizing acting. That's what porn is missing: A relatable leading actress that's been kicked out of Big Bang Theory's catering truck. Twice.
Call her what you will: Gianna Dior, Divine Box... I prefer the moniker "the reason I have to apply aloe vera to my penis every 3-5 hours". Never before has a pornstar made me proud of the reward points I earned shopping exclusively at Walgreens.
