Believe it or not, at one point this spaghetti sauce Elmer Fudd looking mf'er was finger blasting all kinds of college girl gooch on the regular. Honestly not the worst reason to eat that early 401k withdrawal penalty. More shenanigans [here]
30 secs in and 2 things have become apparent: 1) I've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) at least 50% of the people in comments below this have ejaculated to fully clothed women in the Nordstrom catalogue.
Less meat on her bones than a vegan dinner plate. So I guess we should all be surprised that she not only survived the assault on her cinnamon monkey biscuit without breaking a bone - but enjoyed the entire ordeal as well. That's a keeper.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
The real hero of today's adventure should be whatever surgeon sews that bag of expired beef back together in the last clip. It seems learning how to be a boxer through YouTube videos with a language barrier has consequences. More [here]
Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Great body. Exotic look. Even has the courtesy to scrub daddy her dirty walnut before doing the coney island cha cha. Now you know why wedding rings exist.
Between the instructions that actually devolve human beings and whatever the fuck ancient language was trying to leak out of the guy in the last clip, I think it's safe to say we have some form of a predicament in our educational system(s).
Self-proclaimed anaconda smuggler gets humbled after spending < 4.7 seconds on the dark side, leaving her no option but to tap out. The check isn't in the mail.
Alternate source of income? Unfortunate consequence of normalizing Twitter? Evolution? Try all of the above. Legend has it the last time Little Caesar caught her in the parking lot, a pepperoni famine started. Personally I'm not so sure.
The more this behavior becomes mainstream, the harder it's going to be to come back from. Just ask the portfolios of any person that's posted on r/wallstreetbets.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
idk who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on date #1. Maintains a consistent diet of cabbage, and has absolutely no respect for the shower mat you borrowed from mom. Are those wedding bells?
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
Just what the fuck was going on in 2006? Looks like someone with a gestapo fetish and a sizable bankroll started to bring his fever dream Lexapro overdose fantasy to life. Today's delusion? A possible look at UBER in it's group test phase.
I remember when couples would upload their finest Nokia flip vids onto websites that couldn't get cleared for an SSL certificate. So trust when I say having more flash tattoos than visible skin is a bit distracting from the story ur trying to tsell.
An official size was never determined. But judging by facial reactions that are second only to a spirited night of margaritas and cabbage, I'd say it was "enough".
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
Alright it's time for these South American couples to scale it back a fucking notch. Most OF girls barely expose a pubic hair for 6 figure days, meanwhile Valentina and friends are facing radical spinal surgery for less than 2 scoops of rocky road.
Honestly it makes sense. If infidelity was judged on the widening of your rectal cavity, then every man thats peaked their curiosity at chipotle is a serial cheater.