If anything at all, this should teach you that double fisting a pair of white Monsters before shooting your debut sex tape is an idea that at least deserves a second thought. Calm the fuck down Magnus, this is supposed to be a duet.
Pants off, penetrated and slimed all in under a minute thirty while not missing a step on those stubborn limescale stains around the grout lines. I don't know if this is a personal best, but he should probably submit the attempt to speedrunslive.
A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for discounted hookers lurking in Craigslist's general section. If the intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols will.
Another gaggle of beatniks that are one step closer to finding a way to fit more military equipment in their gravy cave than an aircraft carrier. Emphasis on the mini gorlock seen at the 5:45 mark. I'll never look at cave diving the same again.
Come on down to Typhoon Bill's 8ball Alley. A luxury trailer park that promises to fulfill your every need, or the first two prescriptions of Rocephin are on the house.
· There are 86 divorces per hr compared to 230 marriages per hr
· Estimates say 41% of first marriages will end with a divorce
· As many as 60% of second marriages will not make it
idk where this is, but try it in the US of A and the situation will be immediately amplified a guy 1 Michelob Ultra away from a public rampage. That's a warning. Never underestimate a man with garbage bags full of [this shit] in his basement.
Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
I dunno what the fuck she's protesting, but this movement needs a Pampers sponsorship as soon as humanly possible. Now you take that snail trail right back to the Bronx Zoo exhibit you stole it from and maybe I won't call the authorities.
It became glaringly fake the moment they panned to a gym bathroom and there wasn't a Resident Evil outbreak bucket of mold on every surface. Good try tho.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your /fom? If you answered "is that Helmans?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
