If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade there's only two things left to do. So if you share the same genetics, take notes and consider this Plan C after you get banished from the batting cages for life.
The old guard of European crotch grinders really were on a different level. All natural, all interested, & all willing to job a knob in front of unsuspecting bovines.
Galaxy Gas Gwendolyn seems to have compromised her last functioning brain cell with some combination of synthetic drugs and pineapple White Claws. Chances of homey swiping right in a coastal city ever again? Absolutely fuckin zero. Probably.
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an ass that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thx [Anna] ull receive the invoice soon.
Becky Bagels foolishly thinks her road trip to Blowberg is going to be an uneventful one. That is, until her travel guide delivers the payload without as much as a "imma nut" before testing her gag reflex in real time. Many such cases.
Might as well call her a lumberjack because these logs are getting split. And she's not afraid of having her temperature checked at the same time? All future STD testing requirements aside, this looks like a girl worth keeping on the faves list.
Take a culture that considers Rick and Morty comedy, crossbreed them with an addiction to experimental street drugs & this is the result. I haven't seen someone this confused w/ the flavor in their mouth since Wendy's started selling breakfast.
Nearly 5 minutes of a couple simulating painal videos? We may have reached the TikTok level, brain rotted, bottom of the barrel amateur porn creator content[s].
Damn I havent seen urban dominance like that since witnessing an inexperienced citizen cut in line during the illustrious Popeye's chicken sandwich craze of 2019.
What has worse camerawork than the og Blair Witch and leaves you wondering who the fuck wants this? No it's not Cloverfield, but refunds should be issued.
Ever seen a woman question the elasticity of her vagina and her future as a NASA space engineer at the same time? Excellent. Now we have two things in common.
Right-swipe of the week takes a stroll down butt blast boulevard in an attempt to expand her social media(s). Kinda weak for these guys tbh. I've seen asses getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Coffeezilla playlist.
I'm no expert in maintaining relationships with total strangers... but I do know a thing or two about self-medication: And you can't blame this one on the Nyquil.
Solid 5/10? I can sympathize. East Euro impoverish-core decor? Understandable. What I'm throwing red flags on is her ability to look like she's being sodomized by an industrial fruit juicer every time he makes contact with her clitoris. #pass
Believe it or not, before the OnlyFans era and studios jumping on the step-sister train; a man that looked like a dislocated thumb could actually convince his girlfriend to act like a semi-functioning sibling and get the Internet to believe it.
