Congratulations to the golden glove duo working that dude's bag like a 19th century gandy dancer (look it up). Homie may have survived all 9 rounds, but he'll never be able to eat applesauce without a war zone flashback ever again.
Looks like someone trying to squeeze a flag pole into a gas tank. And much like after messing with flammable substances, someone saw hospital time after this.
Seems nice. The type that'd cook artisanal Beefaroni on the 1st date or volunteer a BJ when ur TikTok gets 20 views. Men want that. They rly do. But not like this.
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all way too soon...
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
The more cringe the girl, the further they have to go for attention. A simple concept officially reinforced by this 97lbs of solid Slavic skankarooni. I'll put it this way: watching this forced me to drink Kettle One again. It's that kinda Caucasity.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
This dude's entire account is littered with pseudo public encounter setup videos. Which is really kinda crazy because it would be cheaper/easier to hang around a Skidrow Walmart for 14 mins a day & let nature run its course for "tha khantent".
V stepped into the crowd, taking in live performances at Vogue World: Hollywood. Known for his own standout fashion moments, he kept it effortlessly stylish in a look worthy of the runway. idk what the fuck any of these words mean btw.
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
Melody Marks. Long time pornstar turned JAV icon hit Japan like a tornado, fucking everything with a pulse. Now she moonlights as some sorta [findom lesbian online] In other words; gaijin have been in shambles ever since [more]
We're talking first OF video here, not first time breaking the seal on her unmarinated waffle stomped shit biscuit. While it still maintains spry elasticity, I'll bet dollars to donuts it has more miles on it than grandads prized El Camino.
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
More [here] where the story is her BF launching a nuclear attack on a neighboring country is apparently less important than her fat tits in a Party City maid costume.
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
If there's anything these South American floozys do right with their 3600 baud Internet and flip phone cameras, it's this. Pack ur favorite anti viral and take notes.
Those tits have gone through more transformations than Matt Hardy's wrestling career over the years. Literally 1.5 decades of confusion. Believe it or not she still offers access to them for less than the cost of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich.
The camera never pans downtown, so we don't know if that blowhole has more gape in it than the San Andreas Fault. But despite her knuckle oven seeing diapers before the age of 30 or not, dude landed himself a bonafide superstar.
