If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all way too soon...
"Attention whoring" is a slang term for someone who constantly seeks validation, often using provocative, dramatic, or inappropriate tactics. It typically stems from deep-rooted issues like low self-esteem, loneliness or unfulfilled ego. -Wikipedia
Not every day someones title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits" is a choice. Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica are any help and my disappointment is immeasurable.
Broken dialogue and dimly lit sexual acts that would be embarrassed to find themselves in a McDonald's drivethru. Name is unknown, but when she's not getting rushed down at 4" per minute she watches Hallmark channel. Probably.
Looks like a one and done because I've never seen another video of her before. Which is a damn crying shame. The consequential leak of her getting samoan bulldozered inside a Del Taco handicap stall would have been worth the wait.
The $28 budget isn't winning awards, but I gotta admit: I like her look. It screams "i lived in a trailer park but dad let me drive the trans am to school sometimes"
The camera never pans downtown, so we don't know if that blowhole has more gape in it than the San Andreas Fault. But despite her knuckle oven seeing diapers before the age of 30 or not, dude landed himself a bonafide superstar.
Looks like the room they chose for this little retrograde escapade doubles as a crack den for the local vagabond community on the weekends. Imagine the smell.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
Remember when Hantavirus got ignored so hard it disappeared? Well your favorite social degenerate is here to bring back that biological chaos and disorder to the public transportation of your choosing. Choose your form of PPE wisely.
Not even an ounce of hesitation either. That corn husk has definitely missed it's fair share of schedule maintenance intervals, but it's still running like the day it was bought. In other words: Mom's gonna be driving it until the wheels fall off.
If everybody is born with a gift, hers is performing acts of infidelity without as much as a trace of last night's double serving of guacamole streaked onto the finest imported vegan leather. That's gotta be worth something to somebody.
Nothing quite like the visual of a faux outraged Karenina acting out the script someone scribbled down for her on a Starbucks napkin. As seen here and in 98.7% of all published TikTok videos. Now where's that chicken biscuit I ordered.
These kinds of facial reactions are normally produced only after learning the art of kung fu fornications such as the testicle thunderstorm or the disgruntled rhinoceros. In other words don't attempt on those with weak immune systems.
As fate would have it combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern tech yields impressive results. 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that you will spare her.
