Imagine coming home during the witching hour only to find your significant other kneeling down, thorax-deep on Jamal's chopped cheese. (The Harlem original)
Crazy proportions but the odds of this happening in the back of an econo sedan are slim to none. What you need to get yourself is the Ford F150 with the dynamic cousin package. Just don't hit every branch on the way down the family tree.
Congratulations to the golden glove duo working that dude's bag like a 19th century gandy dancer (look it up). Homie may have survived all 9 rounds, but he'll never be able to eat applesauce without a war zone flashback ever again.
Most notable is [Area51Freak] Not a common name you see around these parts. Probably because it sounds like she was knee deep in Runescape quests when she came up with it. And much like OSRS, you don't need a big rig to please her.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all way too soon...
These kinds of facial reactions are normally produced only after learning the art of kung fu fornications such as the testicle thunderstorm or the disgruntled rhinoceros. In other words don't attempt on those with weak immune systems.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Remember when Hantavirus got ignored so hard it disappeared? Well your favorite social degenerate is here to bring back that biological chaos and disorder to the public transportation of your choosing. Choose your form of PPE wisely.
Classic move, but one that's gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis. #cialis. Look into it.
Lack of stigmas aside- who the fuck is walking around town in an emblazoned pornhub bomber jacket? Surely there are better skins available? DLC perhaps?
Some would say her build is an outright unfathomable piece of modern day art. Others, nothing you wouldn't see after accidentally falling on the ground in the women's handicap bathroom stall at a California Starbucks. Or so I'm told.
Today's fix? Unfixable societal damage, the strongest vaginal lining in Arkansas and more teamwork than then Norway FIFA team. The PTA meeting is cancelled.
The $12.00 Party City costume-infused 'therapist' is Bronwin Aurora. Not sure about the costar. Maybe she should advertise that skidmark maker a little bit harder and we won't have that disparity in the future? I'm here to help.
Looks like the room they chose for this little retrograde escapade doubles as a crack den for the local vagabond community on the weekends. Imagine the smell.
Honestly, I'm shocked. And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how much longer it will take social media to completely remove all empathetic reasoning from the human genome. Direct all your body fluids accordingly. More [here]
The $28 budget isn't winning awards, but I gotta admit: I like her look. It screams "i lived in a trailer park but dad let me drive the trans am to school sometimes"
