I'm getting the impression this lady is no stranger to shotgunning a couple servings of Butthole du Jour after a succulent Chinese meal. But hit 88mph, and she calls more timeouts than a Discord moderator walking up a flight of stairs.
The whole keeping up with the joneses thing should probably be an abandoned concept when it comes to pornographic content. If this behavior keeps up the entire capybera population is gun have to be put on an endangered watch list.
Mariah's trip to Pumptown proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. spoiler: the microbiome on that couch is the final boss in Resident Evil 9.
"Goblin mode" is a slang term for unapologetically self-indulgent lazy behavior that rejects societal norms, often involving staying in pajamas, eating junk food and generally embracing a messy comfortable existence and release of pressure.
Less meat on her bones than a vegan dinner plate. So I guess we should all be surprised that she not only survived the assault on her cinnamon monkey biscuit without breaking a bone - but enjoyed the entire ordeal as well. That's a keeper.
Alternate source of income? Unfortunate consequence of normalizing Twitter? Evolution? Try all of the above. Legend has it the last time Little Caesar caught her in the parking lot, a pepperoni famine started. Personally I'm not so sure.
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
It's not every day someone's video title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits"? Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica is any help & I find my disappointment is immeasurable.
"Colorado tourism offers stunning mountain scenery, hiking and charming towns, attracting visitors year-round for outdoor adventure & relaxation. Key attractions include Rocky Mountain National Park, Aspen and the inside of this girl's asshole"
Pay attention to how "she" goes full Chernobyl centaur at the .03 second mark. Then remember that at least half of Instagram users will think this is real, start flirting with it in broken English and try sending it money. half. We're fucked.
I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
If that isn't the look of a woman that's said "i've used dijon mustard as lubricant" at the table during Thanksgiving dinner, you can slap my bag and call me Shirley.
Real? No. But we may be entering another content drought and middle-aged white women's plan on incorporating high end Amazon camera technology into their dollar tree performances is inevitable. #pancakeassnosyrup #pilates
Tinder is integrating AI to reduce "swipe fatigue" and enhance user experience through personalized matching and improved safety. Key features will include "Chemistry" (AI-driven daily recommendations based on persona/photo analysis)
Self-proclaimed anaconda smuggler gets humbled after spending < 4.7 seconds on the dark side, leaving her no option but to tap out. The check isn't in the mail.
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
Infuckingcredible. I'd double-fist the Saag Paneer from her overpopulated shithole just to get within reach of those calcium-loaded funbaggers. [Twitter] And her [Instagram] where she labels herself as "Gaming Video Creator" lmao
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
More dead ends behind those eyes than an apartment building in Silent Hill. But the box squeezes harder than a retard at a petting zoo so sacrifices will be made.
Turns out this inter-gender tag team have discovered a new meta to pollute the pages of xvideos with: Simulated "oops all anal" videos. More tomfoolery [here]
cuck·old/ˈkək(ə)ld,ˈkəˌkōld/
→ (of a man) make (another man) a cuckold by having a sexual relationship with his wife. And in some rare cases, witness to a rare anaconda on human attack.
