Here it is; A collection of broskis that last about as long as I do during a Marvel movie released after End Game. Normally these misfits would be thrown into the compost pile and forgotten, but these speedruns need to be seen to be believed.
Most girls with a track record in this biz start with humble beginnings. You know, a little MFC streaming, maybe a few confusing Twitter posts. Kyler Quinn however, went straight for the homemade tonsillectomy and never looked back.
Believe it or not at one point porn producers were getting real randos to fuck in exchange for a full keg & promise of being featured on collegefuckfest.com. How come we never know we're living in the best of times until they're over? #sad
Always the same shit with these frat bros: Target a soft 6, then try to time it just right to bust a nut while asking for directions to Wetzel Pretzel. Most victims want anonymity, but not this time. That's pre-porn Stella Cox & all I'm askin is: how tf?
I thought this was your everyday girl for a second, but it's none other than Alexis Crystal practically being fucked into early retirement. More brain damage [HERE]
uhh forget the permeating aroma of sardines now trapped in mom's throw rug forever for a second; is that a mother fuckin Panasonic Gamecube behind her?
This is why u always round up your CVS bill to the next dollar. In the words of the world's greatest philosopher: “Whatever it takes to save the earth, 'cause granola girls, gets 'em all moist. Homeless girls too. They'll do anything for shelter." - CB
I don't know man, but if your dick looks like it should be on a poster for National Geographic: Ostrich Week... maybe you shouldn't be the alpha in this situation?
An increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female in question is a total right-swipe. Her snargleburger gets more attention than Elon Musk's Twitter and all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
ex·per·i·menting:
· to try out new concepts or ways of doing things
· performing a scientific procedure, to determine something
· to let your parents find out what those clam baking classes were for
The e-thots of yesteryear did everything imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didn't exist, OnlyFans wasn't a thought; It was just a campus full of 18-year-olds on the hunt for their next case of rabid vaginitis.
If only Marvel put as much effort into a post-End Game movie, as this group did into exploring the midlife crisis of a fictitious soccer mom. Just trap Ant Man in Woodman's ass and film the escape for 2 hours. #stillbetterthanQuantumania
It looks like someone trying to parallel park a Baskin Robbins truck in New York City. Which is ironic cause squinting from this angle reveals some sort of inbred squidward ice cream bar. Think about that before tagging in your tube sock.
Pretty fuckin bold move to do this in public to be honest. But while the Ebay bidding war rages on for that wet spot she left behind, consider this; women.
For fuck sakes, they could've thrown a dart at any WWE training facility and found better actors to film this drizzling shitfest. Yet, now I want them to #finishthestory
The left side of the thumbnail may be something you never experience for the rest of you life. The right side can't be avoided if you've ever taken a $20.00 bill to Shake Shack. This is a masterful piece of art I like to call: The Duality of Man.
Saved up all of his Hanukkah nickles for his favorite street performer, only to be left at half mast and dryer than an asshole full of sand paper. The dream is dead.
Those deflated pigskins look pretty rough for a 20-something year old and the rest of her collection screams Double Wide Pride. Free tip m'lady; Spend less money on the "I NEED CUM" rubber stamps, and more on a fucking vacuum.
