Things I've watched until the end: [1] All 67 volumes of SSBBW Ivy and Friends [2] The Star Wars Holiday Special [3] Game of Thrones Season 8. Things that have made me tap out instantly: [1] This [2] This video [3] This mother fucking video.
From this angle it appears she's fucking an eggplant. But upon closer inspection you'll realize that's non-other than the shitter fritter himself: Woodman. aka The Machine. aka the man who lived through more STDs than all the 1970s combined.
At barely 5 feet tall you're really risking full blown perineum detachment. Seriously; One miscalculated thrust to the fallopian tubes and your days of unassisted urination are out of the fucking window. You've been warned, Mia.
Margery and her whacky genetics have some fucking explaining to do. Personally, I think she should find a way to increase size by at least 30%. I hear right around Quadruple-K cups is when those real disability checks should start pouring in.
This increasingly disturbing camgirl behavior keeps picking up more steam, but this time the female is a total right-swipe. Just ignore mommas resemblance to Antonio Banderas in The Mask of Zorro, and it will be BUENOS FAPPERINOS.
Don't blame him. This 'once in a lifetime event'occurs more often than my toilet flushes after a McDonald's breakfast. Fuse that with her mouth breather-husband filming this despicable ordeal, and your climax is officially cancelled muchachos.
2 parts mystery, 18 parts boner food. The bafflement begins about halfway into scrolling downward, when you realize these cornholios are too polished to have experienced chimichanga nite after dancing with Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.
I don't know man. Is this really what passes for must-have e-celebrity content that people are willing to pay for? Call me a traditionalist, but back in my day our sex tapes actually had sex in them. And piss jugs. Never forget the piss jugs.
Well damn, if the first 30 seconds of this video didn't confirm Smash Bros being a fighting game then I don't know what to tell you. The tech of a ballsac that's unblockable on wakeup basically confirms everything you don't want to admit.
Apparently these psycho soviets were keeping a legit sex slave, and documenting the entire thing via a Pornhub profile which was wiped clean. But it's the Internet so... nothing is gone forever. Except maybe her definition of "rim jobs" (you'll see)
This is standard middle-aged woman for "I saw a college girl do this on Instagram once so I can do it too" syndrome. Fortunately science has gifted us the video footage to accompany this lifelong stigma that can never be washed off. #facts
As fate would have it, not even a grim reaper of a pandemic can slow down a girls quest for Internet notoriety and Instagram followers. But as for the spectator in the last video? I think she just reinforced her sanitizing regime beyond Covid 19.
Is there some sort of correlation between popular girls with SIMP armies and sex acts less interesting than Betty White getting 15 unsupervised minutes with a lawn sprinkler? These hype machines never seem to deliver. Prove me wrong?
Not even the worst thing this creature of the night has done either. She's the "self-proclaimed filthiest slut in the Centennial State" but I'm not sure how many uppercuts to the fallopian tubes it took to earn that title. More of ALEIGHA HERE
I don't know what year Britney Spears was relevant, but judging by the world championship on CHUD #203's shoulder, I think everyone in this video does.
It's one thing to assume the position in public. It's another to do it during company hours just to keep your addiction going. Now, somebody invite her to a Texas Ranger's bullpen, ASAP. She could be doing a lot of good for the world.
