I don't know what fucking science experiment we're witnessing here, but every time this specimen makes contact with her uterus his face morphs into Elon Musk's hairline in 1998: Disturbing, and unsalvageable w/o cosmic intervention.
1 part hypebeast, 14 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much faith, do not try this one at home.
The upside to being treated like the exhaust pipe of a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is breath and the alpha male fantasy fan fiction will magnetize to you like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
If you're the kind of person that enjoys peak sigma male behavior, then this is the video for you. I'm talking the kind of blueprint that guy who used to dress up as a latex demon and run into the woods to shove leaves up his ass couldn't follow.
It could be legit. This wouldn't be the first time a college bro agreed to sample some expired salami in exchange for living rent-free. Annnnd it won't be the last.
Need proof that that stiffing people in your twenties is dangerous? Look no further my credit-enhanced friends. Meet Natalie Brooks. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her fucking lesson.
I was going to leave something pleasant here, then I came across one of the most porpospterous displays of OnlyFans shilling I've seen (this month). Sorry lady, I will be reserving my next post-clarity night of nutting for the Sears Catalogue.
Imagine putting trust in a man that has been through this disaster and lived to tell the tale. Time for Alyssa to pack up those meatballs and reassess the future.
Sometimes I ask myself, how exactly did we get this far as a society? Then I remember Reddit has 50 million active users and it all starts to make sense.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's said "i' use dijon mustard as lubricant with for neighbor's mailbox" at Thanksgiving dinner, u can slap my bag & call me Sally. Now flip her over - I don't think Lorenzo got enough AIDS during his first pump.
Dude's hung like a boomerang and she's 1 Netflix marathon away from a mid-life crisis. In other words: This is the greatest love story our generation has ever seen.
Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president in 2024, you can literally see fear in her eyes. Emphasis on the :24 sec mark with the introduction of a move I can only refer to as The Turkish Can Opener.
Honestly, I just appreciate content creators going the extra length to try and make their videos believable. One visible skidmark after chowing down on the lunchtime Ellios would have solidified this as completely authentic for me.
New Fetish Unlocked: Making your significant other spurge around the bedroom like she has a car battery jump starting her urethra. Except this is the version where you don't have to outbid Billy Ballsac on that 1972 Datsun rebuild first.
What exactly is the relationship between having the base requirements for your own Discovery Channel special & malnourished white women? We need answers.
Turns out fertilizing your own family tree isn't the only extra curricular activity people practice in Frogballs, Arkansas. Just don't be misled by The Rat King's lack of hygiene; Your respect for the modern day alpha male begins here and now.
Personal gifts are a welcomed sight on Inhumanity, but this particular video isn't about the flaps of her hammy - It's about maximum capacity. That wizard sleeve goes deeper than Kanye West fan fiction & you can officially color me impressed.
Kinda refreshing to know it's real when the tits move like a bowl of Jell-o that's been left in the sun for too long. I may or may not be talking from experience.
