If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an ass that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thx [Anna] ull receive the invoice soon.
spoiler: it's the pepperoni-scented Call of Duty veteran getting his pickle popped, not the other way around. Apparently tha bros thought it would be hilarious to pay an escort to give Stewart the best 2.5 minutes of his life. Another spoiler: It is.
If facial expressions tell a story, I'd say this hog hopper just blasted through the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy and got halfway into the spinoffs in less time than it takes to shit myself after Panda Express egg rolls. (also known as: warp speed)
Nice face. Great spirit. But what really gets u is the idea of someone committing to dating this specimen exclusively. Imagine the pill addiction. :100: :thinking_face:
Like the thunderdome, a Woody casting means two enter but only 1 leaves with a working sphincter. The following rush to Costco's adult diaper section is usually a dark day in the victim's life... but not today. Double BOOM. Double DOOM. [more]
Super hot but prob spends all day yappin like her defenses are impenetrable, then 1 goink to the wrinkled copper slot makes her hit windows_shutdown.wav. #msc
Eyes like Steve Buscemi, squirts like a fire hydrant and looks like the all-Klonopin diet is holding on for dear life. In other words; You will never be this erect again.
Definitely a more pleasant experience than my first time witnessing this behavior in the butcher's line of a Whole Foods. Apparently expiration dates are negotiable.
More use of a fish eye lens than a Bam Margera skateboard compilation and exceptional proportions have manifested in the greatest compliment our boy has gotten since the glory days of Yahoo chat. Life can only go down from here.
Good luck catching a glimpse of tier-A poon like this around the corner from Pizza Hut express. It might be time for me to dust off the ole passport and start getting that cultural diversity CNN is screeching about. [MORE OF HER HERE]
Not sure what actually happened here, but it doesn't look like an unannounced serving of Jossepi's homemade alfredo sauce was the reason for a time out. If you listen closely, it sounds like a neighbor was tired of the female's mating calls.
They're always cut out of the same template like some sort of conveyor belt of mediocrity. But she has nipple direction like Steve Buscemi has 20/80 vision & Im here for the explanation. Somebody ping Bill Nye, I wish to ejaculate scientifically.
23 years of positive thinking and rectal (in)tolerance have manifested themselves in a mint condition 2024 episode of live webcam failures, goofs and all around chucklefuck situations that probably didn't transpire as originally expected...
A stark contrast between this and your everyday HOA Karen. This one actually finishes you off after flappin her gums in your backyard for 27 uninvited minutes.
Yeah ok. They're about as related to each other as I am to Toad from Mario Bros. tip: I'm not. My mushroom doesn't need assistance from plumbers to get jumpin.
Sure, u can be some cookie cutter piss sickening wannabe & slingshot ur tickle stick into ur significant other at a reasonable speed. Or even, into the neighbor's litter box perhaps. But only real men would dare to take the road less traveled.
The misses is bad at keeping secrets, but good at reading self-help books. The teachings of [Master Your Finances, And Shake It Up] are clearly on display here.
Best part of having less shame than the 2000 Spanish Paralympics Basketball team? Walking around half mast is no longer for the pizza delivery man to enjoy alone. That last dude clearing two floors and sprinting half naked though? lmao
