She's not exactly equipped with a real poker face. So when teh dude screams action, you know that look of terror is authentic. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Brock Lesnar and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.
Broken English and dimly lit sexual acts that would be embarrassed to find themselves in a Quickcheck break room. Her name's Cora and when she's not getting diddled down at 4 inches per minute, she watches anime. Probably?
First attempts at delivering a beat down in meat town [1:53], a possible Resident Evil 4 cosplay [3:27] and a language barrier so ridiculous I might have to give the girl her own special section on this site in the future. [4:17] Like uh why even try?
Believe it or not at one point porn producers were getting real randos to fuck in exchange for a full keg & promise of being featured on collegefuckfest.com. How come we never know we're living in the best of times until they're over? #sad
I thought this was your everyday girl for a second, but it's none other than Alexis Crystal practically being fucked into early retirement. More brain damage [HERE]
An increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female in question is a total right-swipe. Her snargleburger gets more attention than Elon Musk's Twitter and all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
Taps out after 40 seconds of anal and can't take a cumshot without coughing up this morning's corn pops? Afraid that puts u on my no-fap blacklist. Somewhere between Joe Rogans podcast & the final episode of The Golden Girls. #standards
Take a generation that considers that Velma show a top comedy, crossbreed them with an addiction to experimental street drugs and this is what happens.
The e-thots of yesteryear did everything imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didn't exist, OnlyFans wasn't a thought; It was just a campus full of 18-year-olds on the hunt for their next case of rabid vaginitis.
If only Marvel put as much effort into a post-End Game movie, as this group did into exploring the midlife crisis of a fictitious soccer mom. Just trap Ant Man in Woodman's ass and film the escape for 2 hours. #stillbetterthanQuantumania
It looks like someone trying to parallel park a Baskin Robbins truck in New York City. Which is ironic cause squinting from this angle reveals some sort of inbred squidward ice cream bar. Think about that before tagging in your tube sock.
At this point, I don't even question human behavior. The only thing separating us from being narrated by David Attenborough, are complicated sneakers and semi-automatic weapons. Turns out the Internet may have been a mistake after all.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself off a building if you missed a text, or cheat on you if your Instagram post got zero likes. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
For fuck sakes, they could've thrown a dart at any WWE training facility and found better actors to film this drizzling shitfest. Yet, now I want them to #finishthestory
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your small intestine, you have to assume this Cathy is hovering somewhere in between girl-next-door and cashier at Super Walmart. Any takers?
Saved up all of his Hanukkah nickles for his favorite street performer, only to be left at half mast and dryer than an asshole full of sand paper. The dream is dead.
Those deflated pigskins look pretty rough for a 20-something year old and the rest of her collection screams Double Wide Pride. Free tip m'lady; Spend less money on the "I NEED CUM" rubber stamps, and more on a fucking vacuum.
Attend a budget bachelor party in Las Vegas on any given Friday, and you're sure to end up touchin tips with a girl that dispenses more threatening fluids than a Mountain Dew vending machine. And today my friends, there is no exception.
