"I'll tell ya one thing about my personal life that I've never told before. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos. And I think that ought to count. I think that ought to go in your record as a positive achievement." - George Carlin
Potato quality footage, daytime gallery shoppers and talks of a Sloppy Benjamin - I'll admit, they had me in the first half. Then I realized she's pornstar Kristy Black.
I'd translate the comments below the video to understand wtf is going on, but the pepperoni Hot Pockets just reached 415 degrees and my night is booked up solid.
What's his secret to success? It's simple really. Just inject 75 milligrams of Dbol directly into your scrotum every 3 days, and you too can gallivant around the neighborhood in seek of menopausal woman in dire need of a hospital visit.
Nata Ocean for the uninformed. She's speaks Latvian, Russian and Hungarian. Not as impressive as my butthole graduating Rosetta Stone for Swahili after gunning through a NachosBellgrande combo. But still admirable nonetheless.
Only the real ones will remember when this cockamanie goof getting sent to Fuck Town USA was pretty much the most watched porn video in the world. It didn't matter what site you dedicated your cum sock to, it was there. For eternity.
Imagine documenting last nights Smirnoff-inspired gangbang and going viral in two completely different ways at the same time. #herpes #snapchat #effecient
Just gonna go ahead and label this one authentic based on dude looking like he thrusts to the rhythm of the Pythagorean theorem. That isn't done by accident.
Protip for my ever-evolving female viewer base: If you ever find yourself in this situation, make sure you order the blooming onion first. Outback servers tend to frown upon this kind of behavior out of the gate. Don't ask me how I know.
Barely 120lbs covered in chicken grease, has the anal cavity stronger than Cyber Truck glass and doesn't believe in safe words, all while being serenade by the smooth stylings of Rammstein. I can't... I can't imagine a more beautiful thing.
A followup to the kind of "hELp mE sTePbRO" videos that actually look believable is a rarity. Somebodies uncle father cousin has some splainin' to do. [PART ONE]
If you're into the kind of erotica that reminds you of the black market for hackey sacks and burned Blink 182 CD's, you should probably throw them a few bucks.
