Daddy-issue appearance without the feminist dick-hating. Not a bad piece of flib flab. Would I take her out on a date to Wendy's? No. Would I want to use her vaginal utopia to power an indoor slip and slide? Hell to the mother fuckin maybe.
The Midwest: Some go for affordable street drugs. Others, go to make videos that can fuel an entire season of Dr. Phil. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Slurm, then he shows his sister-cousin who's the boss of this double-wide. A role model?
Sofia plops out a double serving of cantalope du jour & straight up doesn't give a fuck that a family member is within punching distance. The perfect woman exists.
I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap
Pic #5 is what you want. Half cause she has masterfully paired an outfit together. Half cause it's the face of a girl who knows the solution to the 3 seashells puzzle.
The biggest downside of following an all-turnip and gluten free water diet? Your soy boy body produces less testosterone than a chipmunk's nutsac. Speaking of nutsacs - take that fucking thing to biology class & leave it there, Foreman. srsly
Today we're going to learn 3 imporant things, so find your trapper keeper and listen closely: #1: Shamelessness is alive and well. #2: Usage of a pretty girl is negotiable. And #3: A guy shaped like GRU has seen more action than me today.
Most chances of sexual activity flatline after being courted by Mike Myer's stunt double. Not in this guy's world. He refuses to let his disability hold him back and here I am wondering how I can translate all 4 Free Willy films into busting a nut.
There's something kinda endearing about a girl that has the pride-to-beauty scale of Romanian hooker. Her talents scream give me 6 months and my asshole will out-perform Mexican cartel footlockers. Clearly we're lookin at wife material here.
Yes, she's 18-years-old... and slightly defective by the look of things. Really not sure what else to say about her. It's just another one of those geeky broads that's taken their obsession with Harry Potter spells a little bit too fucking far to fap.
Only 1 thing compliments the feel of a holiday weekend - And that's getting more rash on your crotch from a guy you salad-tossed in the toilet of a Portuguese farmhouse. Note to those inbreds in the last clip: Just end the bloodline here.
Seems straight-forward to me: Her vageen has the width of printer paper & he's hung like the Houston Rocket's starting lineup. Uncertainty should be expected.
Don't know the movie, don't give a shit either. But I have no doubt this surprise walkout was caused by a combination of: tucked wiener, unkempt rectal regions and chainsmoking the likes of which Alabama trailer parks have yet to experience.
Never underestimate the benefits of a 3-star YELP hotel that recycles toilet paper. You may leave with a more diseased crotch than all 97-years of Madonna's world tours combined... but the stories you'll be able to tell will be legendary. #facts
Increasingly questionable video of a threesome that picked the wrong day to be recorded without sound. Don't worry tho, I'm a pro. And it's my personal opinion that at least two of these participants regularly use Midol and Tampax.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
Girls in the midwest: theyre usually as exciting an audio book of Al Gore erotic fan fiction. But throw in an exciting subplot & it becomes TOLERABLE FAPPERINOS.
