I've seen a lot of desperation in my day... but damn near 4 fucking hours of mid-production skin flicks trying to pass themselves off as revenge porn? I would say the Internet has officially reached a new low... but buzzfeed.com still exists.
I'm digging the pre-sodimizing acting. That's what porn is missing: A relatable leading actress that's been kicked out of Big Bang Theory's catering truck. Twice.
aye, I'm thinking it might be best if you restrict all incoming traffic to the front of your body. Either that, or stop shopping for clientele at zoo entrances. Another few years of this and even a Jewish butcher won't be discounting that meat pile.
Oh it's that girl again. You know... the only female that has danced on the line of fucking the mentally challenged for so long, you've now become attracted to people that shop at Walmart? We truly have nobody but ourselves to blame.
Some women need size to get off. Others, a $12.00 shopping spree at Moe's Tex Mex Grill. Then there's Kenzie Reeves who needs no more than half a mini vienna sausage to send her convulsing back to the baby Gap her wardrobe is from.
Nothing gets the peanut gallery talking quite like simultaneous acts of public indecency - so here's 3 girls doing just that. That's right, three as in the number of times I jack off to each episode of Ally McBeal. #skeletonsneedlovetoo #noh8
This girl has a clitoral overload immediately following an impromptu canyon yodeling. This is the wwhere I'm supposed to cut the sleeves off my shirt and call her a slut, but I'd rather comfort her while sniffing her butt. It's called romance.
Call her what you will: Gianna Dior, Divine Box... I prefer the moniker "the reason I have to apply aloe vera to my penis every 3-5 hours". Never before has a pornstar made me proud of the reward points I earned shopping exclusively at Walgreens.
Ever see the movie The Cable Guy'? Me neither, but if they wanted to make a porn spinoff with a heterosexual storyline... it would probably look something like this.
To say she's "in over her head this time" would be a bit of an understatement. Becky can't even get horizontal for more than 18 seconds before homeboy has her clitoris begging for mercy like me halfway into Venom last night.
Pretty slick combination of fuckery and remorse going on here. side note: This site makes this kind of compilation video for every update they post (among all their other efukt-inspired edits) and that's not just cool... it's COOL AS ICE
Looking like Chris Bale from The Machinist, while your S/O gets a mouthful of bonerschnitzil. Exactly how you shouldn't spend the night after visiting grandma.
From the clearance section of BackPage.com comes an escort sporting bed bugs, a wonky titty, and a heart of gold. Her entire scene is just one cluster fuck of fail.
That's it. As far as I'm concerned the line between memes and real life officially doesn't exist anymore. Bring on the moth gangbangs and bowsette ejaculations.
Not since the Olsen twin eating disorders have I seen such misuse of a white girl. The niche for being beaten unconscious is a limited one, but you better fucking believe it's gatekeeped by Odette Delacroix. More abnormal erections HERE
A little bit off-topic, but sweet mother of dragons, every time this girl sticks out her tongues (every 8 seconds) her face instantly reminds me why TUMBLR and pocket knives are a horrible combination.
Sociopaths play their Blue-Eyed White Domestic Abuse cards in attack mode. The end result? A record-setting 4 minute tutorial of what not to do when your Tinder match finally says yes to Chicken Nuggets & Chill.
How to make ur $50 porn vid 100x better? Do a shot of her crinkled starfish before and after sinking the dirty submarine. That's what people really want to see. A sliding scale of damage that FEMA might have to be called in for.
Short list of things I value in life: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care and inexperienced females, like this one in particular. Tack on the fact that she looks like pre-Civil War Pepper Pots and we're talking perfection here.
