[tip: look in the second row for link] Kinda counterproductive to be hung like a zoo animal, yet never able to find a girl that can handle 50% of your moose leg. Perhaps it's that time to trade Tinder for farmersonly.com?
I was spaghetti soft until the camera panned 12 inches south. Fucking hell, this chick is 1 injection of anesthesia away from experimental cornhole surgery & she's rippin one out like the lifeboats were deployed. I'm in love?
This is bad. More bad than the time I emptied $27 worth of Wendy's value meals into the plastic case of Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project for NES and slipped it in a Blockbuster drop-box. Wait no, that was priceless.
Her hip-to-waist ratio is insane. But mother of fuckin' Iggy Pop... not even a Chinese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Stalone from that face. Impressive body tho.... I dub thee '#1 girl I'd be sodomized in the dark by
Kennedy Kressler. I like her. I really do. But the girl's got the skin tone of a corpse and is built like a toothpick. This is essentially 1 cunt hair hair away from being stage-3 HIV porn. Guilty boner is guilty. More HERE + HERE
This is Carolina Sweets. She's a gAmErGuRl. AKA "porn streamer without the porn". Or as I prefer: "cute face and bitchy attitude without body odor reminiscent of Regal popcorn butter". POGGERS IN CHAT ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
LIFE LESSON #237: If someone uses the word negotiable in their Craigslist ad - move the fuck on to the next one or prepare to doomsday prep on Valtrex & Clorox bleach. Discounts are temporary. War-torn genitals arent.
...to stop using the grocery store's dental aisle to reach her O-face. Shit lady, ever heard of Amazon? We'll go ahead donate the full $585.00 just to see you go 1 on 1 with this WOMB WRECKER and leave Colgate out of this war.
As fate would have it, handing out rusty tugboats to guys that consider bratwurst one of the elite food groups, isn't the high profile, second source of income she originally thought it out to be. Live, learn & sanitize, BECKY.
[tip: scroll to bottom of page for link] You know that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of a vagina from the rusty turntable? Well, her two costars just accidentally thrusted straight fucking through it. #diapers4life
LIFE LESSON #274: If your tolerance is weaker than Betty White's rectal control, stay the fuck away from the masturbatory demands of 4,000+ strangers. Last time I saw this many tears, I had to pay the hooker double.
5 pour souls that will never experience the sweet kiss of a double Baconator ever again. If you're the type of guy that can appreciate karma , this is the link for you. More of a humanitarian? Don't worry, I gotchu covered too.
So, what's the explanation this time? Normally guys that look like the result of crossbreeding the cast of Napoleon Dynamite with a cantaloupe are incapable of securing cooter of this quality. I'm open to suggestions. [more]
Not since paying backpage.com's finest in pennies have you seen a sexual arrangement become such a challenge. A hooker with a 'no tits no blowjob' policy? Congratulations on being more useless than a chocolate teapot.
Don't let the cute face & lack of Valtrex in this video fool you: Even the hot ones make mistakes in the eternal quest for 11 seconds of Instagram fame.
I've seen this configuration before: Cute Whole Foods cashier above the waist, John Deer lawn aerator below it. I'd contact my local feminist chapter for false advertising, but I've already filled my tube sock & it's time for bed.
Fart assaults, bitch slappings, clit sniping - I thought I've seen it all when it comes to Internet prostitution. And once again, I was dead fucking wrong.
A coworker at Little Caesars once told me she used the side of a Redbull can to pleasure herself. She said the feeling of her deep-dish pizza bowl being grinded made her cum instantaneously. Is that what's going on here?
