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Some goofy fuck pulled a Spielberg and remastered his entire discography of dick flicks ala Windows Movie Maker. One clip is relatively harmless... but a 30+ combo exhibition video? Nice, but try that on my Magneto function.
Only 2 people should never be caught doing the forbidden fox trot: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Clorox' phase, and this girl. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for Efukt.
I once heard a female performer cover half the star spangled banner during a scene. That used to rank pretty high on my personal ist of 'random-as-fuck-videos-with-a-vagina-in-them'. And then I saw this.
The most offensive thing I've seen women do since accidentally loading buzzfeed.com. And much like that site, spending more than 5 minutes in the same room as one of these creatures will lead to ritual suicide. #GAG
Starts off as a BJ vid, but like me during The Mummy remake, it lasts about 27 seconds. From then on it's all pleasure. And by 'pleasure' I mean whiplash so violent u'll be amazed she can feed herself without FEMA gettin involved.
okay, maybe just 1 time. Specifically #3. While the others have come and gone, this little gem remains unexplained. Full Scenes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
2 things I value more than Arby's 5 for $5: One involves quilted toilet paper & pressure assisted toilets. The other is women so into their fantasies, they don't even need a costar to bring da squeeze. Today, 1 wish gets granted.
What weighs 245lbs, has the lower body of a centaur, and enjoys turning female genitalia into mashed potatoes? This couple's hired gun... and he's not even at full power yet. More unidentifiable rectum sodomy HERE
After banging a good 85% of the Czech Republic's population, he finally broke unfamiliar ground: A mint condition hymen... and an uneducated one at that. She taps out quicker than me during the Baywatch movie.
Her claim to fame is deplorable, and that front seat probably smells like a Chinese cat house. But when the pants come off at 0:34 seconds, her hips look like they can survive giving birth to Danny Devito & its fuckin beautiful.
This is ridiculous. Not lol-ridiculous like a chunk of society identifying as non-binary lesbian attack helicopters. She has zero reaction to being gutted like a sturgeon, and I keep waiting for David Attenborough's explanation.
Wife has second thoughts about the butthole boogaloo, right as he's about to shoot some tadpoles at the moon. But there's no escape, she voluntarily submits. In other words: This is a PSA on the importance of communication.
Shame this girl doesn't make videos anymore. A damn crying shame. Never again will we see this level of excitement when it comes to colonizing the brown planet. Today's fap will be followed by a moment of silence. RIP.
My gut instincts tell me this is about as probable as Shia LaBeouf being properly medicated during business hours.. but I do find her full body dry-heaving, and fluid distribution kind of compelling. Thoughts?
