Drop the weeabo SnapChat filters, give Shia LaBeouf his mood swings back, and get a hobby that doesn't include cunting out in public places... and maybe then we can talk 'superiority' you degenerate cocksucker.
Nice tech, but not for beginners. Chances are your slim Jimmy will enter uncharted territories & come out looking like something from Creature from the Brown Lagoon. or Lionel Richie. Choose your own horror story.
Infuckincredible. I bet youd slurp the corned beef hash from her Irish shithole, just to be in the same room as those vitamin-loaded honeydews. I'd even offer a swipe of my coveted Subway loyalty card just for a peek.
For fuck sakes Japan. Not even a South Vietnamese psychiatrist could Ctrl+Alt+Del the mental imagery of this situation. Insane body though. I dub you craziest MILF I'd drag my dick through glass for. Run with dat.
This is what happens when you permit woman to consume alcohol before the sun goes down. Anuses are bruised, memes are created - all because 2 derpettes couldn't GPS their cornholes to a safer environment.
Wow. Being an attention whore really came back to bite this one in the labia minora? How about next time you stick to handing out your patented herpes lollipops, and save the 2nd degree burns for likeigiveafuck.com.
Silly swamp monster. You can't whip out 4+ inches of protuberance and continue to call it a vagina. Better hit up the DVD collection and Pirhana 3D that shit before roaming the bar scene. I'm here to help.
This dude is special. His face says bitch I'd kill you, but this is the closest I've been to heterosexual sex since hookers started accepting Bitcoin so imma let u finish, but from the neck down he's all business. Thoughts?
Got trust issues? Mine stem from being dick tricked 392 consecutive times by the Eastern Hemisphere. Fall for that many trouser barnacles in a row and you best believe I'm 2nd guessing your TINDER profile, TIFFANY.
A good boyfriend always greases the scud duck with essential oils from Jarkata prior to admittance. Then there's this alpha bastard... who treats his cock like a great white shark on feeding day. Way to kill the trend.
Crystal-Lynn Danni Shania Duggan takes one in the eye after making an all-too common mistake: Going down the N-road with a black woman. Sorry pal, but the result is always the fucking same. #RONDAROUSEY'D
Not since using that glory hole in a Carl's Jr. bathroom have I witnessed a girl with such brilliant multitasking ability. She's got grace man. Know who doesn't have grace? THIS DYKE. Home Depot that hoe, jack to this.
If only she put as much effort into real porn as she did into the Full House of scripted prank TV, maybe I'd feel proud about filling up that 6 pack of tube socks with homemade ranch dressing. But I don't. FULL VERSION
One of Chernobyl's second generation offspring proudly displays his self-described one-eyed tuna trawler, an unfortunately authentic title for what might be the most WTF-worthy video you'll see today. Or not...
Talk about bait and switch. Listen Riku, when it comes time to blow my nickles on backpage.com, the last thing I want my mouth on is more udders than pregnant Jack Russel Terrier. Nip/Tuck that shit, kthx.
Dude's got a knack for tossing sauce... and apparently he's been stockpiling for a week 'cause even a certified cocksmith wasn't expecting to put in overtime hours today. Not much of a talker, but she sure can squawk!
James Randi said it couldn't be done. Man vs. Wild won't do an episode on it. But thanks to Alexis Perez we now have solid proof that if your clitoris has been neglected by daddy long enough, anything is possible.
Pretty erotic amirite? Too bad she's not really his sister. This is pornstar Naomi Woods. Not familiar with her line of work? Let me put it this way: That clam shell has serviced more cocks than an Oklahoma dairy farm.
