hmm. either our male protaganist has been studying the teachings of master Splinter, or me thinks she's been down this hazelnut covered highway before.
Yet another horde of beatniks that have somehow managed to monetize the kind of performances that once only existed behind the locked doors of a Berlin basement. Big points for that Mitzuwana breakdancing at the 6:12 mark though.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
Zero evidence of his testosterone levels, but judging by the performance she just put on, one must assume they are in tip top shape. #olympics2024 #goforgold
I've actually seen [this girl] before, but never getting ragdolled like Jeff Bezo's disposable income. Maybe when she's done finding herself, she can sign up for a safer hobby. Like glassblowing. Or teaching mountain lions yoga, for example.
What exactly are we looking at here? Hazing ritual? Underestimating Applebee's $1 margaritas? A Russian wedding night? I don't know, but one thing's for sure: The original tribal chief will be acknowledged and you can't do anything about it.
The average threesome flatline before u can get the word out ur mouth. But not today. Side note: Anyone know if she has other vids? Specifically ones without Borat's cousin whose idea of teh sexy time is a penis softer than a bowl of yogurt?
The shelf life on this niche can't be more than a year or two. "NoLube/PornForce/Broken Sluts" - All of these studios have one thing in common: Keep penetrating until the chromosome count is no longer in line with the national average. #ouch
This one's pretty legendary as far as college porn goes. And apparently it's the layman's guide to attracting women in Nebraska: Where the cure for a Heineken hangover is getting straight rawdogged before locating your fucking toothbrush?
Prostitution is a pretty straight-forward process. Browse Craigslist Gigs-Labor section and let the restraining orders fly. Unless you're a naive rookie that charges less than KFC's 10-piece Family Feast. Then, it gets a little awkward...
Symptom #27 that you just graduated from tasteless MILF meat, to full fledged community service: You find yourself with 15 minutes between PTA meetings and instead of preparing for it, you roll the dice and smash sum butt hash instead.
To be honest, it's probably real. The depths of hell your average Instagram'r will travel too for a few extra clicks is all the confirmation you need to prove that.
The amount of damage I've seen this girl put her genitals through is too damn high. Maybe when that trap door looses all elasticity and she's forced into another hobby, she can choose something safer. Like gardening. Or fighting wolverines.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
34 pages worth of comments under this video, and 83% of them are complaining about condom usage instead of the obvious: Every time she climaxes, her facial expression resembles Miley Cyrus being disemboweled by a cactus. #payattention
Contrary to his appearance, Equestrian Magazine is not the future goal for this miniature Clydesdale. He still plans on saddling up though; only this time it's with the girl that took a devastatingly wrong turn at community college. #fatality
ngl: This video isn't exceptional. Except for the time between 5:07-6:30 when it looks like every bad life decision and this morning's Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl came back to haunt her at the same time. She spazzes, he nuts, you bookmark.
I'm sure an UBER to a trailer park and at least 2 cans of 4LOKO are responsible for the creation of this vid. But, screw it; Even Spalding is jealous of that bounce.
The more inbreeding in ur bloodline, the further u go to seek sexual satisfaction. A simple concept, reinforced by the director's cut episode of Survivor Man in that last clip. It makes Jeppson's Malort seem like a fuckin delicacy. It's that abhorrent.
