Imagine if this technology existed in the Pamela Anderson era of near-washed up celebrity hybrid attention whore porn? Poster sales would have gone to zero man.
You know your token bucket is going to be overflowing when you up your camshows wiener-to-girl above symmetrical ratios. Sprinkle in a little implied sexual assault and you got yourself a formula for Chaturbate longevity friends.
This entire glorious scene is one beautiful train wreck and I can't fucking wait to hear a epic drum and bass remix of this. :) Full Scene (Mandy): HERE. [Remix #1]
When your saddle bag is knee-level, and the age of medicare is on the horizon - maybe being labeled a sexual predator becomes the least of your problems? But for everyone else watching: You shouldn't even attempt this one. Like... seriously.
Nothing special here. Just your yearly reminder that her rockbottom, last attempt to stay relevant-sex tape has not been created yet. But trust me... it's priced in.
The one and only Danika Mori The original teflon rectum wizard, and might I say - still the best. Her anal acrobatics set such a standard in the renaissance days of amateur porn uploads, I almost forgot she even used her vag recreational activity.
Tired of jacking off to the same old fantasies of Cardi B in a bath tub full of Velveeta cheese and want the next best thing? How about the bi-product of a 50,000-Karma Reddit account? I'm talking fatal levels of simp neckbearding here.
damn son, check out the dimensions on him. You may have a confusing dream or 2 about being bludgeoned to death by it. Big emphasis on death. The graveyard would be a guarantee if you were to sword fight Captain Black Sparrow over here.
This happens when you swipe-right 6,000 consecutive times in a row. Eventually, a jackpot is hit. It's kinda like Atlantic City but with way less transferable diseases.
Nothing peaks interest quite like alcohol-flavored women and their inability to stay fully clothed. So here's 30 of em. Specific interest should be given to girlie numero 3 who has miraculously made it through the night skidmark-free.
Not only do women work fewer hours than men, they choose different careers. Women are more interested in people, while men are more interested in things. They also take more browns to the Super Bowl than the NFL ever has in 98 years.
What happens when you let a Call of Duty YouTuber run wild with Windows Movie Maker and semi-legal pharmaceuticals? Sometimes a digital masterpiece like this. Other times, a restraining order that would make Joe Biden blush.
I'll save you some time: I don't know who girls #2, 5 or 7 are. But I do know we can thank the combination of Smirnoff and Snapchat to make this video possible.
Certainly no Scarlett Johnanson. But what she lacks in beauty and natural born talent, she makes up for in... well... jack shit. Girl is literally useless. Sitting there acting like she's being forced to watch Amy Schumer do standup at gunpoint.
Overt use of pharmaceuticals, public squabblenecking, 60FPS cameras... this video is more well-rounded than the list of STDS on her Tinder profile. No kicker, but wat it lacks in surprises... it makes up for in the worst dirty talk you'll hear ever.
I've seen this hysteria before. The McRib comes back for 2 days and someone else is trying to sell you bargain beef in the parking lot for half the price. Listen closely Becky: Not now, Not ever. Now where the fuck is my Darkwing Duck happy meal?
