Taps out after 40 seconds of anal and can't take a cumshot without coughing up this morning's corn pops? Afraid that puts u on my no-fap blacklist. Somewhere between Joe Rogans podcast & the final episode of The Golden Girls. #standards
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself off a building if you missed a text, or cheat on you if your Instagram post got zero likes. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Imagine hitching a ride on a South American city bus and being considered more of a biohazard than the two inches of piss you're currently standing in (barefoot).
The left side of the thumbnail may be something you never experience for the rest of you life. The right side can't be avoided if you've ever taken a $20.00 bill to Shake Shack. This is a masterful piece of art I like to call: The Duality of Man.
She spittin facts? Probably. I've seen that couch destroy more lives than those asteroids in the original Dead Space. And much like making violent contact with an alien species, her journey into for-hire anal sex is one she'll remember forever.
Much like the Fast and Furious movie franchise, this went from mildly amusing to, "it's time to stop" pretty daggon quickly. The tipping point involves an ass-to-ass audible plan B teeth-biter after failing to fly his dick ship to the orbit of Heranus.
Those deflated pigskins look pretty rough for a 20-something year old and the rest of her collection screams Double Wide Pride. Free tip m'lady; Spend less money on the "I NEED CUM" rubber stamps, and more on a fucking vacuum.
Public restrooms + stepping in unidentified fluids. Not exactly the most shocking combination. But I'll say this; Those tits are marvelous. Just big enough to become an OnlyFans millionaire, not big enough to create another Hulk Hogan hate crime.
Opioid addiction or some sort of protest until the McRib is brought in as a regular menu item? I can't confirm or deny either argument, but the complete lack of fucks given by her McWaitress makes me think she's an Inhmanity regular. sup?
Another one of those zero IQ muh sister videos, except this time the roast beef hasn't expired yet and they casted a girl that may have some... uh, experience in this sensitive area. I'm not sayin what you think I'm sayin - know what I'm sayin?
Props to the guy piping this one down. I haven't seen a 78lb girl this interesting since the time I was caught defecating in a Starbucks drive thru in protest to my blonde roast getting served hot. I specifically said ICED, Becky-lynn. More HERE.
Another historical moment that turned Pierre Woodman into the Terminator we know him as today. These deteriorating VHS tapes really do belong in a museum.
Normally this kind of attempt at public depravity would be immediately thrown into the compost pile for wasting our time. But I'm told this lunatic is legit, and has a history of freebasing randoms along her journey. Big rofl @ the 1:33 mark.
What's his secret to success? It's simple really. Just inject 75 milligrams of Dbol directly into your scrotum every 3 days, and you too can gallivant around the neighborhood in seek of menopausal woman in dire need of a hospital visit.
Imagine documenting last nights Smirnoff-inspired gangbang and going viral in two completely different ways at the same time. #herpes #snapchat #effecient
Yeah okay buddy. This part time slam pig is about as much a cheater as I am an advocate for veganism. (hint: there's only 1 green in my house and it says Fruit of the Loom on it) Now call mom and let her know I finally recognized your work.
2 things you should definitely abandon before agreeing to shoot scenes with the reigning world champion of rectal desecration prn: Beef-a-roni, and self-respect.
It seems a 2-pack of Bud Light turns you into the Gandolf of parking lot pussy pickups... and today his teachings are all free of charge. Practice what you see here and I promise those, size-11 Tinder girls will never "LMAO" at you again.
