Tits like a 2x4, anal has a 30 sec time limit and facials send her running. If there's an instructional video out there on what not to do during your first porn scene, I'd recon this derp just paved the way for a sequel.
Marvel in the awe of an ass that's got more bounce in it than the entire WNBA roster. This future wife loves sex like I love slightly discounted irregular Oreo cookies.
For those that don't speak nachos grande, here's the scoop: The evolutionary cul-de-sac you're looking at is Beshine. At 20 lbs a piece, she holds the record for biggest mistakes on Earth, Jupiter and Deep Space 9.
Perhaps my logic is flawed, but you'd think a girl with a b-hole no bigger than a marble would be against back door admittance. But as you can see she's either a witch, or her rectal cavity is in fact David Copperfield.
Pair of dudes go in for the oral but end up in a sword fight instead. Accidental collisions I understand. The homosexual equivalent of a bro fist @ 15:46 I do not.
Self-entitled college mid-carder finds her braless flapjacks on a website and has a shitfit. By the 2nd threat of litigation I had already forgotten what flavor of IHOP syrup I'd cover those punching bags with.
Los Hermanos de Butt Sex have been assigned a mission: Leave no hole unfilled. Any first-year college girl can pull off a DP, but it takes a special kind of slut McNugget to endure this assault & live nightmare-free.
He's got a 7.5 inch ham slammer and she dances like Jennifer Lopez after an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this cut off before the best part. I say mom did them a fucking favor.
Congratulations! You just disobeyed 50 generations of strict sexual guidelines to give southern white males their biggest erections since the Michael Brown verdict.
When all your knowledge of cinematography comes from Keanu Reeves, this is the result. I may have inadvertently just uncovered a new action genre even Jason Statham would be embarrassed to participate in.
Say hello to your new obsession. Not only does she incorporate all parts of the male genitalia into her blowjobs, "not-scared-of-sudden-seminal-gagging" is on her resume too. How could I NOT link to this video?
Raquel Balboa turns this guy's egg sac into her own personal speed bag. I mean straight up going Mr. Miyagi on his hangers without breaking a sweat. A video hasn't made me clench so tightly since this classic.
Her v-hole is capable of filling a solo cup quicker than a bar tap but when she goes maximum spread @ 9:27 it looks like the Predator on picture day. Do I fap or flee?
A no-questions asked handjob in the loading area of Bed Bath and Beyond would put the smile on any man's face... but not Carlos. Who shit in his Baja Chalupa?
I've never seen a video with Mia Malkova that made me question my erection, even when she's wearing her ass as a hat. But after edging myself through this scene...
Undoubtedly the most daring group of sex offenders this planet has ever seen. I must note though - nobody was hurt, fantasies were fulfilled and these girls got something to tweet about other than being fat. #WIN
Everybody is born with a gift. Clearly his is having the Optimus Prime of genitalia. Watch in utter amazement as nothing more than a single-handed choke hold transforms his Oscar Mayer into a portobello mushroom.
Additional chromosomes and fantastic genetics have combined forces for the greater good. How? Let's just put it this way: Boners will rise when you see her tits. Boners will (probably) deflate when you see this FACE.
How/Why this female is stimulated enough to have an orgasm is beyond my knowledge. Her sexual partners include a ventriloquist dummy hung like Patrick Ewing and whatever 25,000 Dave n Buster coupons can buy.
Here's a hotel review I'd like to see on TripAdvisor: Conveniently adjacent to highway 45, where all westbound traffic can get a clear view of your battle-fatigued piss cutter. Consider my reservation booked.
