To my ever growing .07% female viewers: put on your bifocals and pay the fuck attention. This is what u DON'T do before getting married. Stay classy & save the dick-crazed cluster fuck swap parties for college girls and India.
Freshly szechuan'd Rick and Morty fans get the 3 Stooges treatment after discovering chaturbate.com. The smell of digital prostitution will eventually fade... but video of you juggling another man's donut glaze is f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
Before today I was absolutely certain of two critical things: 1: Blondes are inherently on the spectrum for autism. And 2: Cats are born assholes. Looks like my opinions have officially been reinforced. See her live HERE
Desperate for fame and isn't afraid of lying on her resume. If these aren't the quintessential ingredients to be Nacho Vidal's next penis ornament, I don't know what is. Now save up those Pesos and fly the U.S and A. kthx.
I'm linking to her entire gallery of videos, but if your interest is in the fallopian tube rearrangement I've selected for the thumbnail: FRET NOT. Your chlamydia-flavored soccer mom awaits you at the end of this link.
I'm thinking it might be best you just stay behind that wall and never reveal your identity. That thing you're sticking through the wall has a hair trigger.
Enjoy this one slowly. For this is undoubtedly the first, last and only time you'll ever see a teenage girl drunkenly slam dunk her own gash directly in front of a disapproving parental unit. In another word... FAPFAPFAP.
11-picture tutorial on how to secure your status as a registered sex offender. Specifically #9, which is miraculously not sporting a single visible skid mark.
19-years-old and doesn't know what a vagina is. But what they lack in anatomy classes they make up for in... well... nothing. Even combined these two are completely fucking useless & I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is what happens when you let nerds interact with women in a live environment. Safe spaces are destroyed, genitals exposed - all cause some marvelous bastard found a way to add gangrape DLC to GTA5. HILARIOUS.
Her body language alone made the P-to-B transaction less probable than Bob Barker headlining UFC 215. Best she sticks to stuff she's good at. Like shopping at Warby Parker & picketing Chipotle. 'straight to A' isnt her thing.
Great face. Nice body. But what really got me on board was the complete lack of logic. Look closely. No brains, no thoughts. So cute you'd almost forget this happens when they get more than half a can into their mouths.
Tina Belcher's safe space gets invaded by some dude taking his mushroom to the park, but accidentally found love instead. Does she: 1) Call da police 2) trade gazpacho recipes or c) take Shia Ladork's advice. This ones easy.
Interruption @10:06. And whats our heroes reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his bashful costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still a star in my book.
A once thought to be lost classic resurfaces. Community college bro gets a pass on rent in exchange for clearing out the cobwebs from his landlady's minge, complete with awkward small talk and blacked.com fuck positions.
Gotta respect a guy that's more interested in his 50% Off Panda Express coupon, than questioning why his 18-year-old daughter is naked in front of the family webcam. Balancing priorities are an integral part of fatherhood.
Don't let that lack of muscle tone fool you: She's a protein assassin. We all have a calling in life... and after skull-fucking the basic multiplication skills out of herself, I think we all know what her future holds. ยป networking.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2-mile radius was no problemo. But ~60 secs of churning butt butter? GAME OVER. Ladies and gents: I present to you the enigma of Asian scrag hags.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
