Fresh out of an Arby's parking lot and new to the ride & glide scene, this spring-loaded slut bounces her way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a marriage proposal.
Dirty Sanchezes, Donkey Punches - pretty timid stuff by today's Internet-standard. But check out #3. It's unarguably the most repulsive shit I've seen since Jaden Smith's Twitter account.
Tits like a 2x4, anal has a 30 sec time limit and facials send her running. If there's an instructional video out there on what not to do during your first porn scene, I'd recon this derp just paved the way for a sequel.
Have you met a man that could make a Bukkake video totally solo? You're going to today. If ever a time was needed to bring in a camera that shoots 1000 frames per second, it was for a guy that nuts like I urinate.
Marvel in the awe of an ass that's got more bounce in it than the entire WNBA roster. This future wife loves sex like I love slightly discounted irregular Oreo cookies.
For those that don't speak nachos grande, here's the scoop: The evolutionary cul-de-sac you're looking at is Beshine. At 20 lbs a piece, she holds the record for biggest mistakes on Earth, Jupiter and Deep Space 9.
Perhaps my logic is flawed, but you'd think a girl with a b-hole no bigger than a marble would be against back door admittance. But as you can see she's either a witch, or her rectal cavity is in fact David Copperfield.
Pair of dudes go in for the oral but end up in a sword fight instead. Accidental collisions I understand. The homosexual equivalent of a bro fist @ 15:46 I do not.
Twerking: Mastered by black girls, pure nightmare fuel when Sally gets down. But am I the only one who sees the danger here? 1 wrong move & her skeletal structure will have more breaks than a Mexican landscaper.
Self-entitled college mid-carder finds her braless flapjacks on a website and has a shitfit. By the 2nd threat of litigation I had already forgotten what flavor of IHOP syrup I'd cover those punching bags with.
Los Hermanos de Butt Sex have been assigned a mission: Leave no hole unfilled. Any first-year college girl can pull off a DP, but it takes a special kind of slut McNugget to endure this assault & live nightmare-free.
He's got a 7.5 inch ham slammer and she dances like Jennifer Lopez after an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this cut off before the best part. I say mom did them a fucking favor.
For a minute there I was starting to lose faith in white female's ability to keep me entertained. Then I was introduced to a vagina with more bounce in it than Spalding has ever produced in 50 years. #WIN
Congratulations! You just disobeyed 50 generations of strict sexual guidelines to give southern white males their biggest erections since the Michael Brown verdict.
Crash course on how to turn your turd cutter into a perma-gaped coal mine. No CGI: Just a girl from Idaho that converted her fart pipe into a Dyson DC50. It's literally one Rosetta Stone away from communicating.
When all your knowledge of cinematography comes from Keanu Reeves, this is the result. I may have inadvertently just uncovered a new action genre even Jason Statham would be embarrassed to participate in.
Say hello to your new obsession. Not only does she incorporate all parts of the male genitalia into her blowjobs, "not-scared-of-sudden-seminal-gagging" is on her resume too. How could I NOT link to this video?
Raquel Balboa turns this guy's egg sac into her own personal speed bag. I mean straight up going Mr. Miyagi on his hangers without breaking a sweat. A video hasn't made me clench so tightly since this classic.
Becky and the blind Guatemalan she hired to ink her orangutang booty have some explaining to do. I think it's best you find the nearest wood chipper and lower those cheeks into it. Even FEMA can't help you now.
Her v-hole is capable of filling a solo cup quicker than a bar tap but when she goes maximum spread @ 9:27 it looks like the Predator on picture day. Do I fap or flee?
