After bulldozing through Detroit's prosti population, our man broke unfamiliar ground: A woman in it for the BBC, not crackrock. And a sensitive one at that. That butthole took more abuse than a Volkswagen beetle during a soccer riot.
Kinda off-topic... but whenever this girl reaches maximum tonsil capacity her face crunches up and she sounds like a Maytag washing machine on the rinse cycle lol
Listen up Patrick: when it comes time to splurge mom's xmas money this holiday season - try making it a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into the elasticity of the rectal cavity as she did into her Warby Parker frames, then maybe this permanent mark on her resume could have been avoided. Live, Learn and Burn.
This girl has an emotional breakdown so I assumed the obvious - dude loves his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather smell her butt.
If only she put this much effort into not dressing like a Salvadorian street walker, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thanks Linda. You'll receive the invoice soon.
With a name like iBarbie you'd think she'd have more beta boyfriend. But as you can clearly see by her expressions from 1:31 - 6:30, her emotions are no more negotiable than the super size option at McDonald's. Same salt levels apply too.
This is what happens when the competition pushes you too far. Bloodlines are contaminated, boners get confused - all because some kooky little token gremlin couldn't keep her hands on her own tits. P.S. Watch the full 3hr broadcast HERE
Don't laugh at this. Even if your soul is more decayed than Robert De Niro's asshole after a weekend visit to a naval base, it should still tell you that giggle time is officially cancelled until Ricardo is located and a proper sequel is made.
2006: A forgotten time when iPods ruled the world and the only way to efficiently broadcast live sex acts was private Stickam rooms. It's also the time this girl's parental unit got home from The Piggly Wiggly too early and made history.
One man's quest to convince Pornhub users he's actually a teacher and this is actually one of his students ends in a hearty "i don't give a fuck what you title ur vids, just give me more of that colombian bam bam". Clickbait never felt so good.
MFC alumni's safe space gets invaded by some dude hunting a Pikachu, but found a couple of Jigglypuff's instead. Does she: a) 911 b) trade casserole recipes or c) invite him to be part of the felony. This ones easy.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
Being able to pinpoint the moment a parent's hope dies is about as rare as rare can get. Second only to ordering a Popeye's chicken sandwich without second degree battery, and the mythological 1-wipe after Olive Garden's Tour of Italy.
ok it's not Wendy's, but the shirt is yellow and her beef patty has been pressed to hang over the bun. Some might even say it's the best ground beef in the bidness.
Consider the waistline of this overgrown toddler the rights of passage for any girl born below the equator. If you haven't been viciously attacked by Jordi's pork shoulder, then u can never label yourself as making it. sry, I don't make the rules.
Imagine that. Someone had a camera rolling the one time a Craigslist rental ad including the words only women may apply that doesn't end in with an unwanted cornholing by heavy machinery. Around our parts we call this video "a unicorn".
In the early days of cam slooting she was a bit of a legend. Both for that set of tits and her willingness to fuck the administrator of a Dungeons and Dragons forum on a regular basis. Brings me back to a time when hope actually meant somethin.
She's drunk, high and/or from southern New Jersey. All of which appropriately explain why she's using her asshole as a greeting card. I have a strong feeling this day ended with at least one health insurance deductible being reached.
40+ minutes of tapioca ejections that need an episode of Bill Nye dedicated to them. Seriously, if at least some of these mutants aren't suffering from some reproductive system anomaly I'd be surprised. And willing to pay for the secret.
Her claim to fame is a bit questionable, and the window seat at Chipotle probably smells like a Vietnamese cat house. But when she reaches peak fake orgasm, her face scrunches up like she's breech birthing Danny Devito & it's fucking beautiful.
