You don't have to be a Chad to experience double-fisted AIDS. But when I go STD Akimbo I seek out the discount bin for further savings. Ever get combo-blown by 2 girls with less teeth than a goldfish? Cause you can do it twice at these prices.
I originally thought this kind of situation wouldn't be a possibility outside of the family in Resident Evil 7. And then I remembered West Virginia exists. #justfacts
Imagine having a slab of meat so heavy u dedicate an entire Pornhub account to marketing it. Barnum & Bailey will be in touch. Right after the Discovery channel.
The best part of keeping a travel-sized Thai-hole on your payroll? Budget banging no matter how "eco-friendly" your $17/night hotel room is for starters. Also AIDS.
Good ole TikTok. It's like VINE, but more nudity and less dipshits that consider Call of Duty a rights of passage. Also it has Bree Louise's bare ass tit/vajee combo.
5+ minutes of implied family porn even Dr. Phil wouldn't touch. I think it's pretty safe to say 2020 has officially jumped the shark when it comes to sister swagging.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
Think it's all freshman-year waistlines and Google Translating the cost of a Filipino corncobbing? Think again my stereotyped friend. Your sheckles would be better spent on your sister's braces. At least then you'd cum in under 24 hrs.
What's that old saying again? Once you go black you almost lose your uterus in a domestic street fight, get ejected from your tiki hut, and see the business end of a Ginsu knife? Because... that's exactly what happened here. Shit's fucked up yo.
After bulldozing through Detroit's prosti population, our man broke unfamiliar ground: A woman in it for the BBC, not crackrock. And a sensitive one at that. That butthole took more abuse than a Volkswagen beetle during a soccer riot.
Kinda off-topic... but whenever this girl reaches maximum tonsil capacity her face crunches up and she sounds like a Maytag washing machine on the rinse cycle lol
Listen up Patrick: when it comes time to splurge mom's xmas money this holiday season - try making it a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into the elasticity of the rectal cavity as she did into her Warby Parker frames, then maybe this permanent mark on her resume could have been avoided. Live, Learn and Burn.
This girl has an emotional breakdown so I assumed the obvious - dude loves his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather smell her butt.
If only she put this much effort into not dressing like a Salvadorian street walker, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thanks Linda. You'll receive the invoice soon.
With a name like iBarbie you'd think she'd have more beta boyfriend. But as you can clearly see by her expressions from 1:31 - 6:30, her emotions are no more negotiable than the super size option at McDonald's. Same salt levels apply too.
This is what happens when the competition pushes you too far. Bloodlines are contaminated, boners get confused - all because some kooky little token gremlin couldn't keep her hands on her own tits. P.S. Watch the full 3hr broadcast HERE
Don't laugh at this. Even if your soul is more decayed than Robert De Niro's asshole after a weekend visit to a naval base, it should still tell you that giggle time is officially cancelled until Ricardo is located and a proper sequel is made.
2006: A forgotten time when iPods ruled the world and the only way to efficiently broadcast live sex acts was private Stickam rooms. It's also the time this girl's parental unit got home from The Piggly Wiggly too early and made history.
One man's quest to convince Pornhub users he's actually a teacher and this is actually one of his students ends in a hearty "i don't give a fuck what you title ur vids, just give me more of that colombian bam bam". Clickbait never felt so good.
MFC alumni's safe space gets invaded by some dude hunting a Pikachu, but found a couple of Jigglypuff's instead. Does she: a) 911 b) trade casserole recipes or c) invite him to be part of the felony. This ones easy.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
