I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
Not her first rodeo. Real ball-knowers have seen this mongrel practically drown herself in unknown BBC way before OF was a thing. Just the love of the game.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
Self-filming, self-uploading and self-promoting is crazy fuckin work when you got a wedding ring collecting dust on the Walmart end table. Having the phenotype of an Elden Ring skeletal archer may or may not have led to this decision tho.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
Sorry hungry peasants eternally trapped under the inflation line. It seems all that lab grown meat has been diverted to her upper body. Now if you'll excuse me...
Started at the bottom, now we're here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
Getting your o-ring blown out within shouting distance of a stranger's hotel bed is a bold move. One of superiority tbh. Nancy and her 19 cats will think twice about filing a noise complaint at tomorrow's complimentary continental breakfast.
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
A rare fourth stage does actually exist, but the video wasn't long enough to see if the barn door entrance was supplied with a proper dressing of WD-40 or not.
"Attention whoring" is a slang term for someone who constantly seeks validation, often using provocative, dramatic, or inappropriate tactics. It typically stems from deep-rooted issues like low self-esteem, loneliness or unfulfilled ego. -Wikipedia
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your digestive system, you have to assume this Fiona is hovering somewhere in between "girl next door" and "super walmart cashier". Any takers?
I'm getting the impression this lady is no stranger to shotgunning a couple servings of Butthole du Jour after a succulent Chinese meal. But hit 88mph, and she calls more timeouts than a Discord moderator walking up a flight of stairs.
"Goblin mode" is a slang term for unapologetically self-indulgent lazy behavior that rejects societal norms, often involving staying in pajamas, eating junk food and generally embracing a messy comfortable existence and release of pressure.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (2035) I'm not sure these talents r beneficial. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts? i dunno man...
Looks like the room they chose for this little retrograde escapade doubles as a crack den for the local vagabond community on the weekends. Imagine the smell.
2.5 minutes of supercharged fuckhype videos that will have you re-questioning the circular hole you saw in the 7/11 bathroom stall. (handicapped) Oh it's true.
One of those rare moments where I can overlook the Pepboys bolt-on milk sacs because the performance is legendary. More strawberryshan deprivation HERE
Believe it or not, at one point this spaghetti sauce Elmer Fudd looking mf'er was finger blasting all kinds of college girl gooch on the regular. Honestly it's not the worst reason to eat that early 401k withdrawal penalty. More shenanigans [here]
The amount of women that willingly get front loaded by permit-enforced meat missiles is actually surprising. What can be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has now been brought to public view.
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
Sorry Chuds, but I'll pass. I prefer my pseudo-sister slampig content to be as believable as possible. That means more screeching about who ate the last Pop-Tart & less TikTok-level acting that makes my crotch itch just being a spectator.
