If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
In what must be the lowest effort "muh content!" video of the fucking year, this pair of cornballs pull off Twitch-levels of cringe. office_noise.mp3 has been put on notice. You know it's bad when Bangladeshi comments are calling you boring lul
4 outta 5 physicians will advise against this behavior. But a lifetime of chronic digestive complications doesn't really seem to concern these prodigies. Big risks = more clout. And more clout = more fashionably retarded short form content.
Sorry Chuds, but I'll pass. I prefer my pseudo-sister slampig content to be as believable as possible. That means more screeching about who ate the last Pop-Tart & less TikTok-level acting that makes my crotch itch just being a spectator.
Gotta respect a man that can make a white girl stop in her tracks faster than a Target clearance sale by simply removing his Nike Dri-FITs, and hangin' brain.
Imagine coming home during the witching hour only to find your significant other kneeling down, thorax-deep on Jamal's chopped cheese. (The Harlem original)
The title may be bs, but at least it's not A.I. An unfortunate level of acceptance our dystopian future has waiting for us when it comes to waxin the carrot. Almost as depressing as that spine tattoo acting as a roadmap to her Hersey Kiss faucet.
Seems nice. The type that'd cook artisanal Beefaroni on the 1st date or volunteer a BJ when ur TikTok gets 20 views. Men want that. They rly do. But not like this.
What's that old saying? Go big or go home? If it's in her ass she's all class? If your tip is brown shut it down? I don't know but someone probably just got a raise.
Becky McSnagglepuss channels her inner sorority girl to give Alfonso and friends a one-time look at the kind of minge that requires double vaccination. #tourism
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Supergirl gets the director's cut we've all been waiting for, the French prove that giving up is never an option and that giraffe neck havin mother fucker in the last clip single handedly puts an end to the skinny jeans market. All this and more...
Harry Hipster and his double-F sized bunkmate channel their inner 2009 vlog creator and bring us a side of am-porn nobody asked for. You'll have to improvise the aroma of cedarwood and deep fried asshole to really hammer this one home.
