Ah yes, Ella Kai. She was getting some crazy moment for a minute there in late 2019, and then Covid shut her public sluttery down quicker than an unlicensed rat meat vendor in New York City. If you don't already know the lore, catch up [here]
Congratulations on managing to turn your penis into a freefall lifeboat. It's quite the achievement. Now if u could kindly drag that thing back to the petting zoo where it belongs it would be appreciated. Esmeralda seems to have hit her limit.
One look at the name [Xxlayne] and you'll know everything you need to know. She only had three choices in life; Become an active ingredient in chewing gum, get adopted by Elon Musk or end up ass-deep inside simulation sister porn.
A stark contrast between this and your everyday HOA Karen. This one actually finishes you off after flappin her gums in your backyard for 27 uninvited minutes.
The story may be 10lbs of bullshit. But at least it's employment bullshit and not inter-family uncle dad father dishwasher bullshit. That's real progress. [MiaKink]
Getting to this level of comfortable may actually end up being a bad thing. Today it's hawkin Detroit's finest unwashed hamlog in front of a friendly bystander. Tomorrow, it's using city fire hydrants as portable enemas. Ask me how I know.
What in the Alabama backwoods barn burning bullshit is goin on in that last clip? Mating ritual? Vegan skin care? Reasons I won't enter Ubers without plastic wrap?
An emphasis on the cardiovascular system, and showing off better grip than David Tyree in the 2008 Superbowl. Pornographic content that incentivizes you to get your ass in shape really is an untapped market. Someone look into that.
More use of a fish eye lens than a Bam Margera skateboard compilation and exceptional proportions have manifested in the greatest compliment our boy has gotten since the glory days of Yahoo chat. Life can only go down from here.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade there's only two things left to do. So if you share the same genetics, take notes and consider this Plan C after you get banished from the batting cages for life.
3:10 for the moment of truth. Is dude being honest? Are those surgical gloves? Did I free throw one into the sink at Starbucks from the foul line because their one stall was closed off this morning? All these questions have the same answer.
Chances of this happening in real life are low, but not zero. Never underestimate the combination of a fresh McGriddle & Riverside California public transportation.
Not all of today's most gifted participants were born with the poker face of Clint Eastwood. So when you bare witness to the equivalent of a vaginal SCUD missile, understand it took practice to get here. More reasons to uninstall the Internet: [x]
Believe it or not, before the OnlyFans era and studios jumping on the step-sister train; a man that looked like a dislocated thumb could actually convince his girlfriend to act like a semi-functioning sibling and get the Internet to believe it.
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
The old guard of European crotch grinders really were on a different level. All natural, all interested, & all willing to job a knob in front of unsuspecting bovines.
Flirting is pretty straight forward. Just flick the hair, bat some eyes and let the cringe commence. Becky seems to have turned the dial to 73. Bold choice, but if this is a repeat incident then shes filling more bucketlists than bungee jumping.
If u've ever seen these handicap south american fuck marathons, u wonder wtf is the end game here? bc some of these participants are going to need a round the clock team of medical professionals to stitch some of those flaps back together.
