Self-proclaimed anaconda smuggler gets humbled after spending < 4.7 seconds on the dark side, leaving her no option but to tap out. The check isn't in the mail.
Anal rly should have a universally accepted weight requirement. Performing with this lvl of proportion disparity is sure to result in a sphincter collapse comparable only to fast food muckbanging. McRib connsesuries know what I'm talking about.
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
Alright it's time for these South American couples to scale it back a fucking notch. Most OF girls barely expose a pubic hair for 6 figure days, meanwhile Valentina and friends are facing radical spinal surgery for less than 2 scoops of rocky road.
Your significant other gets curious about being on the receiving end of a 1-man firing squad. And before the next round can even be chambered, she's already hypothesizing how to make the end of your life look like an accident. Classic.
Like the thunderdome, a Woody casting means two enter but only 1 leaves with a working sphincter. The following rush to Costco's adult diaper section is usually a dark day in the victim's life... but not today. Double BOOM. Double DOOM. [more]
Pretty fuckin impressive build there. I bet you'd double fist the pelmeni borscht out of your own slavic shithole just to get within arm's reach of those juice bags.
Shame doesn't enter the conversation when your significant other is sporting the kind of tits that can end a dynasty. Even when she casts lures onto your friend's trouser trout? A niche group of people need to reevaluate their relationship goals.
If we can go ahead & keep your fucking cuck larp fan fiction title crawl Microsoft word art caption spam off the videos in the future, that would be great. Both George Lucas and Sid Farkus will be contacted next time you cross this line bud.
The amount of middle-aged women trying to relive their glory days of slobbering dong adjacent to marked down summer fashion pieces, is way too damn high.
Alternate source of income? Unfortunate consequence of normalizing Twitter? Evolution? Try all of the above. Legend has it the last time Little Caesar caught her in the parking lot, a pepperoni famine started. Personally I'm not so sure.
Said thumbnail is at the 1:35 mark. Honestly it's not very eventful. But for a split second during Sandy's post-ass whooping call for a time out, she looks like Clint Eastwood with long hair and double-D tits. It's kinda erotic when u think about it.
Bobbi Jo Tammy Crystal Trixie-Lynn may be one ankle monitor away from her next CashApp begging video on TikTok, but today it's all about 'maykin khantent'
Normally this kind of attempt at public depravity would be immediately thrown into the compost pile for wasting our time. But I'm told this lunatic is legit, and has a history of freebasing randoms along her journey. Big rofl @ the 1:33 mark.
If you think one video of a rando slapping choose-your-own-adventure narration over a fantasized cuck video is weird, wait until you see the rest of his account.
Infuckingcredible. I'd double-fist the Saag Paneer from her overpopulated shithole just to get within reach of those calcium-loaded funbaggers. [Twitter] And her [Instagram] where she labels herself as "Gaming Video Creator" lmao
This is [allicatcollared] and her hobbies include: Philosophical debates on racial inequities, [posting on reddit] and cosplaying as a northern Indiana shish kabob.
5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
If you want attention in 2025, it's gonna take a lot more than hangin brain in the checkout line at Hot Topic. So take notes ladies, because it's this kind of work ethic that springboards you from "girl friend" to "girl wife". Respectfully of course.
