It's not every day someone's video title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits"? Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica is any help & I find my disappointment is immeasurable.
Some of these builds are outright unfathomable pieces of modern day art. Others, nothing you won't see after accidentally falling on the ground in the women's handicap bathroom stall at a California Starbucks. Or so I'm told.
For these philanthropists, it's about destroying societal norms and giving back to the neighbors. Climb that mountain and nothing shall come between your communal oral cavity and legendary status. Save for a viral outbreak or four...
What's truly ridiculous is the volume of desperate comments under this video. Bangladesh treating Xhamster like a dating app will never not be amusing to me.
The aroma of McChicken wrappers and a homeless man's piss rag may not do anything to get your penis to maximum hardness. But you aren't part of this duo.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
Shame doesn't enter the conversation when your significant other is sporting the kind of tits that can end a dynasty. Even when she casts lures onto your friend's trouser trout? A niche group of people need to reevaluate their relationship goals.
Normally this kind of attempt at public depravity would be immediately thrown into the compost pile for wasting our time. But I'm told this lunatic is legit, and has a history of freebasing randoms along her journey. Big rofl @ the 1:33 mark.
Only two situations leave a person with that look on their face. And both involve serious velocity of the rectal cavity. So this is either post-anal or post-white castle.
If I remember correctly she was a 1 and done. Which is unfortunate, because she had the face/rectal tolerance of a star that could have lasted the entire 2.5 year lifespan the average girl in this space pulls before spiraling into an eating disorder.
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
Mariah's trip to Pumptown proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. spoiler: the microbiome on that couch is the final boss in Resident Evil 9.
Double team raw dogging a lady of the night sure is a bold choice. Almost as bold as filming, saving and consequently having your wife stumble upon said video because you forgot how cloud backups work. That daggone syphilitic technology.
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
Not rly surprising from a girl that willingly chose the alias [shrOOms Q]. Moon lettuce & it's sibling psychedelics have led to many unscrupulous hole invasions.
The human experiment takes a new detour to fuck town USA, aided by wrestling memes and movies you probably never heard of. twas a fine society we had once. But like buying a video card without a home equity loan, those days are forgotten.
Pay attention to how "she" goes full Chernobyl centaur at the .03 second mark. Then remember that at least half of Instagram users will think this is real, start flirting with it in broken English and try sending it money. half. We're fucked.
cuck·old/ˈkək(ə)ld,ˈkəˌkōld/
→ (of a man) make (another man) a cuckold by having a sexual relationship with his wife. And in some rare cases, witness to a rare anaconda on human attack.
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
