This woman is the Nelson Mandela of butt blasting. A sacrificial lam if you will. I thought I was a charitable dude after donating 2.5 bags of Hot Cheetos to my local soup kitchen. That's diddly fuckin dick compared to this selfless act.
Proficient camera angles and lighting, or a man that was actually conceived by a fucking Clydesdale? I'm sorry, I just don't have the answers behind this mystery.
Don't let that cunning smile fool you. This girl has zero love for her significant other & hotel room upholstery. As illustrated somewhere between the 4th & 19th uppercut to her cervix by the newcomer. something something hpy anniversary?
I remember the first time I came across Indica Flower. I feared the aroma of mango locking gel and overgrown granola bush was going to be overwhelming for anyone willing to costar. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was pineapple.
Chances of this happening in real life are low, but not zero. Never underestimate the combination of a fresh McGriddle & Riverside California public transportation.
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
Shame doesn't enter the conversation when your significant other is sporting the kind of tits that can end a dynasty. Even when she casts lures onto your friend's trouser trout? A niche group of people need to reevaluate their relationship goals.
If I remember correctly she was a 1 and done. Which is unfortunate, because she had the face/rectal tolerance of a star that could have lasted the entire 2.5 year lifespan the average girl in this space pulls before spiraling into an eating disorder.
What's his secret to success? It's simple really. Just inject 75 milligrams of Dbol directly into your scrotum every 3 days, and you too can gallivant around the neighborhood in seek of sub-500 TikToker's in dire need of a hospital visit.
Debuting your asshole with this man as your costar is the equivalent of taking your drivers license test at a destruction derby. Against all odds she somehow she not only survived her rectal rearrangement, but thrived for many years to come.
An emphasis on the cardiovascular system, and showing off better grip than David Tyree in the 2008 Superbowl. Pornographic content that incentivizes you to get your ass in shape really is an untapped market. Someone look into that.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your /fom? If you answered "is that Helmans?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
The average American mall has less activity than a graveyard today, so maybe consider this some sort of historical moment instead? A time when window shopping for meat this discounted was considered a communal act. #nostalgia
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all too soon...
