Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
Crazy proportions but the odds of this happening in the back of an econo sedan are slim to none. What you need to get yourself is the Ford F150 with the dynamic cousin package. Just don't hit every branch on the way down the family tree.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
An activity normally practiced by people that get so high they try to vacuum their own shadows. Clearly this one is no stranger to surprise trips to the gynecologist.
We've [seen] this [girl] before. And 27 million collective views later it seems she still hasn't figured out what a carbohydrate is. Prince Devitt would be vry proud.
Don't let the optimistic smiles fool you. This social media misfit has less concern for the ringus around her bingus than a unionized construction worker on his lunch break. aka damage is imminent. Oh well. Try your best, DLSS5 the rest.
Looks like Sparky splurged all of his birthday nickles on the supreme package. She's built, looks like she enjoys it and judging by his lack of gagging, there's no aroma of yesterday's Newports anywhere to be seen. The glass ceiling is broken.
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your digestive system, you have to assume this Fiona is hovering somewhere in between "girl next door" and "super walmart cashier". Any takers?
Stewart and his local Dungeons and Dragons chapter approach your wife with their war drums out, looking for an impromptu handicap match. What do you do?
Not every day someones title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits" is a choice. Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica are any help and my disappointment is immeasurable.
Those tits have gone through more transformations than Matt Hardy's wrestling career over the years. Literally 1.5 decades of confusion. Believe it or not she still offers access to them for less than the cost of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich.
Tip for my ever-evolving female fan base: If you ever find yourself in this situation, make sure you order the blooming onion beforehand. The unsuspecting stranger will be gifted a soundtrack AI could never replicate. Don't ask me how I know.
You're gonna need pharmaceutical help to take a little ride through her Jurass-lick park. I mean tripping off that prehistoric mosquito amber. You gotta geek so hard you'll be seeing new colors. This is about to be a code BURPLE. Police on standby.
Naturally attractive without modifying her ass cheeks with Fix-a-flat at the local NAPA Auto Parts and has the skill to back it up? I predict your title is a lie, sir.
Lack of stigmas aside- who the fuck is walking around town in an emblazoned pornhub bomber jacket? Surely there are better skins available? DLC perhaps?
Harry Hipster and his double-F sized bunkmate channel their inner 2009 vlog creator and bring us a side of am-porn nobody asked for. You'll have to improvise the aroma of cedarwood and deep fried asshole to really hammer this one home.
Is this considered 'kink shaming' now? It's easier to adopt Cantonese than trying to keep up with today's TikTok dictionary, so excuse me if it actually is. What I do know is dude's face at the 1:11 mark means the situation is genuinely not bussin.
Before the faux outrage begins; no this bullshit isn't real. This is clout zombie BronwinAuora who's newest grift seems to be convincing a janitor to play duos.
Selective fish-eye lens or are we looking at the missing link between man and clydesdale? idk know but somewhere in the world Levis is working on a solution.
