Not since witnessing a mid-moshpit hookup during an Alestorm concert have I seen a love story worth sharing. And much like those adventurous un-showered creatures, Karen's performance and smell won't be forgotten any time soon.
Great body. Exotic look. Even has the courtesy to scrub daddy her dirty walnut before doing the coney island cha cha. Now you know why wedding rings exist.
Dude's hairline looks like a Detroit skyline and has "overdose" across his jugular. And still managed to pull a 9/10 that rawdogs anal. u no longer have any excuses.
"you get the best barrels ever dude it's just like you pull in and you just get spit right out of 'em and you just drop in and you jus' smack lip WAPAH y'drop down s'na BAH and then after that you just drop in just ride the barrel and get pitted."
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself in front of a train if u missed a text or cheat because a piece of amethyst told her to. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Believe it or not, at one point this spaghetti sauce Elmer Fudd looking mf'er was finger blasting all kinds of college girl gooch on the regular. Honestly not the worst reason to eat that early 401k withdrawal penalty. More shenanigans [here]
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
The amount of women that wait in que to get bulldozed by this maniac is actually surprising. What could be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has been brought to public view. In high defs.
uhhh, I don't know exactly when 'navigating sexually transmitted diseases on public transportation ' became a thing. But I suspect TikTok is responsible.
The misses is bad at keeping secrets, but good at reading self-help books. The teachings of Master Your Finances, And Shake It Up are clearly on display here.
I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
3:10 for the moment of truth. Is dude being honest? Are those surgical gloves? Did I free throw one into the sink at Starbucks from the foul line because their one stall was closed off this morning? All these questions have the same answer.
What drives a mild-mannered college girl to abandon education and pursue a profession of having her insides prepped like a Thanksgiving turkey? Vapes? The zyns? Letting Katy Perry continue to make music? We may never know. [more]
I'm sure an UBER to a trailer park and a handful of 4LOKO are responsible for the creation of the majority of these situations. But, screw it; Even speedrunslive is jealous of these personal bests. MORE: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-] [-8-]
I remember when couples would upload their finest Nokia flip vids onto websites that couldn't get cleared for an SSL certificate. So trust when I say having more flash tattoos than visible skin is a bit distracting from the story ur trying to tsell.
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
The real hero of today's adventure should be whatever surgeon sews that bag of expired beef back together in the last clip. It seems learning how to be a boxer through YouTube videos with a language barrier has consequences. More [here]
Incredible proportions. I bet every forward thrust would have her tits clapping like a trained seal. ur not supposed to find fish sticks erotic... yet here we are. Again.
OnlyFans: For half the cost of a Burger King combo meal, you too can be subjected to whatever toxicology violations are lurking behind those prematurely aged cheek bones. Enhancing your aroma with menthol Newports is optional.
