Easily the most deplorable attempt at infidelity to ever grace my 11" Amiga computer monitor [this week]. And that's coming from a human being who's seen more than 23 consecutive mins of an Dwayne Johnson movie. My opinion counts.
This one is total vintage by the Internet's measurement of time. You can tell by the 240 lines of pixelation and lack of fix-a-flat being injected into her ass cheeks.
Maybe zero is a harsh criticism. We all have to start somewhere. It's just that most recipients of the Gawkoluxious 3000 would prefer making it out of the tutorial 1st.
Nothing has been as generous to the amateur porn community as the fish eyed camera lens. Joe Sixpack and his homie Mayonnaise Mike end up looking like people pay a cover charge to feed them at a petting zoo. But we know the truth.
That's pretty good. [this] is better though. Mainly because it really shows us the aftermath of spending half a decade cramming the industries finest right back up the 'ole rusty walnut and how the future rectal intolerance is never guaranteed.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Debuting your asshole with this man as your costar is the equivalent of taking your drivers license test at a destruction derby. Against all odds she somehow she not only survived her rectal rearrangement, but thrived for many years to come.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself in front of a train if u missed a text or cheat because a piece of amethyst told her to. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Adrien Brody levels of acting here. The story, the camerawork, the multiple cuts to fit in a few doses of Valtrex. If it wasn't for those double milk jugs stealing the spotlight our dude might be up for an Oscar. Someone get the nomination going.
I'm no expert, but we may be reaching critical levels of shamelessness here. Or as the Italians used to call it; "Exterminus Adversus Slutterdominous". #historical
Between the instructions that actually devolve human beings and whatever the fuck ancient language was trying to leak out of the guy in the last clip, I think it's safe to say we have some form of a predicament in our educational system(s).
What's truly ridiculous is the volume of desperate comments under this video. Bangladesh treating Xhamster like a dating app will never not be amusing to me.
George Lopez is juiced to the gills and managed to procure one of Starbuck's finest Coffee Artists™. The result? Only her gynecologist and Jiffy Lube knows.
If I remember correctly she was a 1 and done. Which is unfortunate, because she had the face/rectal tolerance of a star that could have lasted the entire 2.5 year lifespan the average girl in this space pulls before spiraling into an eating disorder.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
Great body. Exotic look. Even has the courtesy to scrub daddy her dirty walnut before doing the coney island cha cha. Now you know why wedding rings exist.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
Just what the fuck was going on in 2006? Looks like someone with a gestapo fetish and a sizable bankroll started to bring his fever dream Lexapro overdose fantasy to life. Today's delusion? A possible look at UBER in it's group test phase.
Pants off, penetrated and slimed all in under a minute thirty while not missing a step on those stubborn limescale stains around the grout lines. I don't know if this is a personal best, but he should probably submit the attempt to speedrunslive.
Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
When you're waving around an object commonly mistaken for a Japanese culinary tool, it's gotta be hard to find willing recipients/casualty. So give it up for Becky Wonderpuss, who know now hears an echo with every footstep she takes.
"Sydney Sweeney is not currently engaged; she and her fiancé Jonathan Davino called off their wedding in March 2025. The couple, who were engaged in 2022 after reportedly dating since 2018, have decided to go their separate ways."
