If facial expressions tell a story, I'd say this hog hopper just blasted through the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy and got halfway into the spinoffs in less time than it takes to shit myself after Panda Express egg rolls. (also known as: warp speed)
There's no false advertising when it comes to Kenzie Reeves. If nature had a way of organically producing portable pocket pussies for the average man to carry around with in public, this 78lb spinner body would be the fucking blueprint for it.
Before the faux outrage begins; no this bullshit isn't real. This is clout zombie BronwinAuora who's newest grift seems to be convincing a janitor to play duos.
Normally I'd be the first to out this as being faker than the tip I left a Door Dasher that dropped $43.00 worth of Del Taco (see: 1 value meal). But I did the research, and turns out these two share more DNA than Gene Simmons in the 70's. [more]
Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino... but trust me - there isn't enough blackmarket dick pills to hammer through this one.
Another gaggle of beatniks that are one step closer to finding a way to fit more military equipment in their gravy cave than an aircraft carrier. Emphasis on the mini gorlock seen at the 5:45 mark. I'll never look at cave diving the same again.
Maybe you've already seen this? Seems to have spread across the Internet faster than gonorrhea during Burning Man weekend. It's part of the "doitforstate" challenge aka the only reason to pay for college. More public shame[ing] HERE.
The story may be 10lbs of bullshit. But at least it's employment bullshit and not inter-family uncle dad father dishwasher bullshit. That's real progress. [MiaKink]
One of those rare moments where I can overlook the Pepboys bolt-on milk sacs because the performance is legendary. More strawberryshan deprivation HERE
Looks like FTV, but theres no results for 'chipotle' or 'double meat'. Nevertheless, those little jugs of hand sanitizer may no longer be suitable when choosing this fine fast food dining establishment as the destination for your next din din...
If anything at all, this should teach you that double fisting a pair of white Monsters before shooting your debut sex tape is an idea that at least deserves a second thought. Calm the fuck down Magnus, this is supposed to be a duet.
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
He may have less testosterone than a handbag full of Midol. But what he lacks in machismo, he makes up for in... well. Nothing. Man just managed to end both his marriage and access to driving a gas powered vehicle in a single vid. Impressive?
Eyes like Steve Buscemi, squirts like a fire hydrant and looks like the all-Klonopin diet is holding on for dear life. In other words; You will never be this erect again.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an ass that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thx [Anna] ull receive the invoice soon.
Halfway into this you may say to yourself: I haven't come across so much reason to develop erectile dysfunction on purpose since going down the lore on [this social media creature]. It truly is an unfortunate day to have functioning eyes.
The most abhorrent thing here is him thinking anything will increase the resale value of a P.T. Cruiser. Hit the 6:32 mark to hear that man dreaming in real time.
Might as well call her a lumberjack because these logs are getting split. And she's not afraid of having her temperature checked at the same time? All future STD testing requirements aside, this looks like a girl worth keeping on the faves list.
Definitely a more pleasant experience than my first time witnessing this behavior in the butcher's line of a Whole Foods. Apparently expiration dates are negotiable.
Especially if u aren't stone cold sober during daylight hours. One wrong angle and you run the risk of turning her innie into an outtie. It's called "the heat seeking carmel farmer" and it's the #3 reason for divorce, right behind finances & Reddit.
