Fact: Cam girls are forever evolving. Take this lively South American fuck goof for example. When the pesos started slowing down she introduced "La Torta de Dinosaurio" to the show and engagement skyrocketed. Entrepreneurship is crazy.
Nothing has been as generous to the amateur porn community as the fish eyed camera lens. Joe Sixpack and his homie Mayonnaise Mike end up looking like people pay a cover charge to feed them at a petting zoo. But we know the truth.
"you get the best barrels ever dude it's just like you pull in and you just get spit right out of 'em and you just drop in and you jus' smack lip WAPAH y'drop down s'na BAH and then after that you just drop in just ride the barrel and get pitted."
The description under the video is about as accurate as attendance numbers at a wrestling ppv. All signs and cellulite point to her being one of Walmart's finest.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
Honestly it makes sense. If infidelity was judged on the widening of your rectal cavity, then every man thats peaked their curiosity at chipotle is a serial cheater.
Not rly surprising from a girl that willingly chose the alias [shrOOms Q]. Moon lettuce & it's sibling psychedelics have led to many unscrupulous hole invasions.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
It became glaringly fake the moment they panned to a gym bathroom and there wasn't a Resident Evil outbreak bucket of mold on every surface. Good try tho.
A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for discounted hookers lurking in Craigslist's general section. If the intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols will.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
What drives a mild-mannered college girl to abandon education and pursue a profession of having her insides prepped like a Thanksgiving turkey? Vapes? The zyns? Letting Katy Perry continue to make music? We may never know. [more]
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself in front of a train if u missed a text or cheat because a piece of amethyst told her to. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
The amount of middle-aged women trying to relive their glory days of slobbering dong adjacent to marked down summer fashion pieces, is way too damn high.
To be honest, it's probably real. The depths of hell your average Instagram'r will travel too for a few extra clicks is all the confirmation you need to prove that.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
Some women need a good meal and a goodnight text to reach their sexual peak. But this one? Just one half-assed request has her pastrami butterfly goopafied. Not a single phone in sight. Just 2 people living in the moment. I kinda respect it.
A Chilean degenerate that treats her butthole like a dollar menu side order? The villain arc is practically writing itself. Start getting blocked on her Twitter [here]
