As fate would have it combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern tech yields impressive results. 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that you will spare her.
We're talking first OF video here, not first time breaking the seal on her unmarinated waffle stomped shit biscuit. While it still maintains spry elasticity, I'll bet dollars to donuts it has more miles on it than grandads prized El Camino.
Classic move, but one that's gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis. #cialis. Look into it.
uhhh, I don't know exactly when 'navigating sexually transmitted diseases on public transportation ' became a thing. But I suspect TikTok is responsible.
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
Started at the bottom, now where's here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
ah, the old "my sister ate moon grass and fell on my penis" trick. A classic move, but one that gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis for her. #cialis pancho. Look into it.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving viewers concerned that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of dick-baiting?
The amount of women that willingly get front loaded by permit-enforced meat missiles is actually surprising. What can be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has now been brought to public view.
Karen McGoonerson is presented a with a choice: Dance with the mayonnaise maraca she's been married to for the past 4 years, or gallop with the chocolate clydesdale. Do you really have to guess how this one is gonna end? [painfully]
You would think one day in the future a video of your significant other being railroaded in the shallow end of a pool human sized petri dish would return to haunt you. And if u do, u'd be right. She'll never show her face in Walmart again.
Tinder is integrating AI to reduce "swipe fatigue" and enhance user experience through personalized matching and improved safety. Key features will include "Chemistry" (AI-driven daily recommendations based on persona/photo analysis)
I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
Becky McSnagglepuss channels her inner sorority girl to give Alfonso and friends a one-time look at the kind of minge that requires double vaccination. #tourism
I wondered what happened to the dreadlock girl at the 0:30 mark. Turns out she changed her name, but is still active But uhh... the landscape of war has changed.
2.5 minutes of supercharged fuckhype videos that will have you re-questioning the circular hole you saw in the 7/11 bathroom stall. (handicapped) Oh it's true.
"if you're caught, DON'T STOP!" That's not a direct quote or anything. And it probably shouldn't be one. Especially for that broken fire hydrant seasoning the corner table at Smash Burger around the 5:00 mark. wtf is wrong with u people?