5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
See that rush of fear around the 0:58 mark? That's the kind of reaction second only to a man that has miscalculated his maximum capacity for Mountain Dew Code Red in a public venue. And I think that's something we can all relate to.
"if you're caught, DON'T STOP!" That's not a direct quote or anything. And it probably shouldn't be one. Especially for that broken fire hydrant seasoning the corner table at Smash Burger around the 5:00 mark. wtf is wrong with u people?
You've heard that one before. But it's never been so accurate after seeing >five consecutive minutes of the world's most undesirable creatures run wild in their natural habitat. If anything at all proving that Valtrex should be a public company.
Captain Lou Albano's love of replica katana swords and pop tarts has finally attracted someone that doesn't have access to their Nigerian mailman's third cousin's billion dollar bank account. I guess getting it on film should be excepted.
Deceptive camera angles, or is dude really packing enough meat to require city ordinances in order to offer it to the public? Either way -- Karen's in over her head.
Not since witnessing a mid-moshpit hookup during an Alestorm concert have I seen a love story worth sharing. And much like those adventurous un-showered creatures, Karen's performance and smell won't be forgotten any time soon.
The amount of middle-aged women trying to relive their glory days of slobbering dong adjacent to marked down summer fashion pieces, is way too damn high.
A Chilean degenerate that treats her butthole like a dollar menu side order? The villain arc is practically writing itself. Start getting blocked on her Twitter [here]
Fact: Cam girls are forever evolving. Take this lively South American fuck goof for example. When the pesos started slowing down she introduced "La Torta de Dinosaurio" to the show and engagement skyrocketed. Entrepreneurship is crazy.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
Judging by the shades of mold growing under her, it looks like they were at the "practice stage" long before the camera ever got turned on. Imagine the smell[z].
Nothing screams "modern day eroticism" quite like a circumcised Slavic beating his shit to a showering sibling. Katerina Danica Dragana should've known better.
If that isn't the look of a woman that's said "i've used dijon mustard as lubricant" at the table during Thanksgiving dinner, you can slap my bag and call me Shirley.
Bobbi Jo Tammy Crystal Trixie-Lynn may be one ankle monitor away from her next CashApp begging video on TikTok, but today it's all about 'maykin khantent'
I wondered what happened to the dreadlock girl at the 0:30 mark. Turns out she changed her name, but is still active But uhh... the landscape of war has changed.
The more this behavior becomes mainstream, the harder it's going to be to come back from. Just ask the portfolios of any person that's posted on r/wallstreetbets.
What drives a mild-mannered college girl to abandon education and pursue a profession of having her insides prepped like a Thanksgiving turkey? Vapes? The zyns? Letting Katy Perry continue to make music? We may never know. [more]