idk who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on date #1. Maintains a consistent diet of cabbage, and has absolutely no respect for the shower mat you borrowed from mom. Are those wedding bells?
Self-proclaimed anaconda smuggler gets humbled after spending < 4.7 seconds on the dark side, leaving her no option but to tap out. The check isn't in the mail.
I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
Anal rly should have a universally accepted weight requirement. Performing with this lvl of proportion disparity is sure to result in a sphincter collapse comparable only to fast food muckbanging. McRib connsesuries know what I'm talking about.
Dude's dick looks like an authentic Leberwurst recipe that got abandoned before the oven timer went off so one has to question the agenda here. More food tips.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. But the produce is usually fresh so... win.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
The WWE-inspired outfit has to be community noted here. Showing appreciation for Stephanie Vaquer, or 1 hammer away from Tim The Toolman Taylor cosplay?
Pretty fuckin impressive build there. I bet you'd double fist the pelmeni borscht out of your own slavic shithole just to get within arm's reach of those juice bags.
Normally this kind of attempt at public depravity would be immediately thrown into the compost pile for wasting our time. But I'm told this lunatic is legit, and has a history of freebasing randoms along her journey. Big rofl @ the 1:33 mark.
5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself in front of a train if u missed a text or cheat because a piece of amethyst told her to. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Probably not the first time she's been fairly compensated for cosplaying as a communal nut pod, but it's gonna be the last time. Sponsored by Coca Cola?
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
She claims this is legit, and it's the first time "meeting" this dude. Okay lady, sure. And the gangrene I got from "introducing" myself to a stripper that considers Canadian pennies a form of payment will just go away with fast orange and water.
For these philanthropists, it's about destroying societal norms and giving back to the neighbors. Climb that mountain and nothing shall come between your communal oral cavity and legendary status. Save for a viral outbreak or four...
This one is total vintage by the Internet's measurement of time. You can tell by the 240 lines of pixelation and lack of fix-a-flat being injected into her ass cheeks.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
