Like the thunderdome, a Woody casting means two enter but only 1 leaves with a working sphincter. The following rush to Costco's adult diaper section is usually a dark day in the victim's life... but not today. Double BOOM. Double DOOM. [more]
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Melody Marks. Long time pornstar turned JAV icon hit Japan like a tornado, fucking everything with a pulse. Now she moonlights as some sorta [findom lesbian online] In other words; gaijin have been in shambles ever since [more]
Might as well call her a lumberjack because these logs are getting split. And she's not afraid of having her temperature checked at the same time? All future STD testing requirements aside, this looks like a girl worth keeping on the faves list.
Gotta respect a man that can make a white girl stop in her tracks faster than a Target clearance sale by simply removing his Nike Dri-FITs, and hangin' brain.
A rare fourth stage does actually exist, but the video wasn't long enough to see if the barn door entrance was supplied with a proper dressing of WD-40 or not.
Seems nice. The type that'd cook artisanal Beefaroni on the 1st date or volunteer a BJ when ur TikTok gets 20 views. Men want that. They rly do. But not like this.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
Self-proclaimed Pokemon master adds another accolade to her resume in the form of BRAIN MELT VAGINAL LEAKING O-FACE. An unfortunately accurate title in what will surely be the biggest "should I call FEMA?" video you'll see today.
"if you're caught, DON'T STOP!" That's not a direct quote or anything. And it probably shouldn't be one. Especially for that broken fire hydrant seasoning the corner table at Smash Burger around the 5:00 mark. wtf is wrong with u people?
Pretty fuckin bold move to do this on public transportation. But while the Ebay bidding war rages on for that wet spot she left behind, consider this; women.
ah, the old "my sister ate moon grass and fell on my penis" trick. A classic move, but one that gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis for her. #cialis pancho. Look into it.
The originator of "hyper squirting" back in the early days of MFC, XFuukaX is not only still active but she's pissing her pants on a pay-per-video basis now. #bidness
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. But the produce is usually fresh so... win.
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
Requesting $14.00 for a cup of pre-burnt plastic coffee beans from the jungles of Madagascarfuckyourself rly should come w/ a point card that redeems this prize.
