Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Cece Capella. If you're unaware, this girl single-handedly had a literal choke hold on the gooner scene up until around 2017. I wonder what she's up to tod... [oh]
Perhaps it's time to take your business to a place more focused on oral hygiene? Like a college internship program. Or Bangladesh during a soccer riot for example
While padding your resume may not exactly be something generally frowned upon when seeking an enhancement in your employment opportunities, safety should always be your first priority. And at least 1 change of your finest linens.
Harry Hipster and his double-F sized bunkmate channel their inner 2009 vlog creator and bring us a side of am-porn nobody asked for. You'll have to improvise the aroma of cedarwood and deep fried asshole to really hammer this one home.
Honestly, I'm shocked. And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how much longer it will take social media to completely remove all empathetic reasoning from the human genome. Direct all your body fluids accordingly. More [here]
Is this considered 'kink shaming' now? It's easier to adopt Cantonese than trying to keep up with today's TikTok dictionary, so excuse me if it actually is. What I do know is dude's face at the 1:11 mark means the situation is genuinely not bussin.
Before the faux outrage begins; no this bullshit isn't real. This is clout zombie BronwinAuora who's newest grift seems to be convincing a janitor to play duos.
The amount of women that willingly get front loaded by permit-enforced meat missiles is actually surprising. What can be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has now been brought to public view.
These kinds of facial reactions are normally produced only after learning the art of kung fu fornications such as the testicle thunderstorm or the disgruntled rhinoceros. In other words don't attempt on those with weak immune systems.
Started at the bottom, now we're here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
Today's fix? Unfixable societal damage, the strongest vaginal lining in Arkansas and more teamwork than then Norway FIFA team. The PTA meeting is cancelled.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an a-hole that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reese's peanut butter cups this weekend. E-books will be written about this.
If everybody is born with a gift, hers is performing acts of infidelity without as much as a trace of last night's double serving of guacamole streaked onto the finest imported vegan leather. That's gotta be worth something to somebody.
Not everyone has this kind of affinity for high prioritizing siphoning the python over a meaningful long lasting relationship. That's cuz not everyone is this girl.
Look closely and you'll notice the dive bar bathroom graffiti tattoo coverage isn't even at 30%. Unfortunately that means the future will involve heavy machinery.
Imagine all the planning, text messages, sneaking around and poker face horse shit she went through only to find out Sanjeet has the endurance of a geriatric garden snail. You can almost pinpoint the moment of her final disappointment.
Believe it or not this was actually voted the number two reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging Taco Bell's new Cantina Chicken Mexican Pizza.
After 4.3 seconds of research it seems this poviya is more into "spooning corn fritters" [ see: Having Anal sex with a female that does not practice anal hygiene and fails to evacuate before participating in anal play ] than she is into infidelity.
Those tits have gone through more transformations than Matt Hardy's wrestling career over the years. Literally 1.5 decades of confusion. Believe it or not she still offers access to them for less than the cost of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich.
