Honestly it makes sense. If infidelity was judged on the widening of your rectal cavity, then every man thats peaked their curiosity at chipotle is a serial cheater.
"Squirting on the UBER driver" usually isn't a service you can add through the app. But anyone that's taken the old Taco Bell detour on the way home from a bar knows it becomes negotiable before the trip has been completed. iykyk
Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
Your significant other gets curious about being on the receiving end of a 1-man firing squad. And before the next round can even be chambered, she's already hypothesizing how to make the end of your life look like an accident. Classic.
Great body. Exotic look. Even has the courtesy to scrub daddy her dirty walnut before doing the coney island cha cha. Now you know why wedding rings exist.
I dunno what the fuck she's protesting, but this movement needs a Pampers sponsorship as soon as humanly possible. Now you take that snail trail right back to the Bronx Zoo exhibit you stole it from and maybe I won't call the authorities.
Less meat on her bones than a vegan dinner plate. So I guess we should all be surprised that she not only survived the assault on her cinnamon monkey biscuit without breaking a bone - but enjoyed the entire ordeal as well. That's a keeper.
Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
Dude's dick looks like an authentic Leberwurst recipe that got abandoned before the oven timer went off so one has to question the agenda here. More food tips.
I remember when couples would upload their finest Nokia flip vids onto websites that couldn't get cleared for an SSL certificate. So trust when I say having more flash tattoos than visible skin is a bit distracting from the story ur trying to tsell.
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
If you want attention in 2025, it's gonna take a lot more than hangin brain in the checkout line at Hot Topic. So take notes ladies, because it's this kind of work ethic that springboards you from "girl friend" to "girl wife". Respectfully of course.
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
The description under the video is about as accurate as attendance numbers at a wrestling ppv. All signs and cellulite point to her being one of Walmart's finest.
A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for discounted hookers lurking in Craigslist's general section. If the intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols will.
