Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
I remember when couples would upload their finest Nokia flip vids onto websites that couldn't get cleared for an SSL certificate. So trust when I say having more flash tattoos than visible skin is a bit distracting from the story ur trying to tsell.
Cute title. It's just that I'd be more inclined to believe it if your speedrun to adult diapers wasn't the 1st thing you decided to share with the world. #thisgirlsaphony
This woman is the Nelson Mandela of butt blasting. A sacrificial lam if you will. I thought I was a charitable dude after donating 2.5 bags of Hot Cheetos to my local soup kitchen. That's diddly fuckin dick compared to this selfless act.
This one is total vintage by the Internet's measurement of time. You can tell by the 240 lines of pixelation and lack of fix-a-flat being injected into her ass cheeks.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
Double team raw dogging a lady of the night sure is a bold choice. Almost as bold as filming, saving and consequently having your wife stumble upon said video because you forgot how cloud backups work. That daggone syphilitic technology.
Shame doesn't enter the conversation when your significant other is sporting the kind of tits that can end a dynasty. Even when she casts lures onto your friend's trouser trout? A niche group of people need to reevaluate their relationship goals.
Easily the most deplorable attempt at infidelity to ever grace my 11" Amiga computer monitor [this week]. And that's coming from a human being who's seen more than 23 consecutive mins of an Dwayne Johnson movie. My opinion counts.
Looks like a one and done because I've never seen another video of her before. Which is a damn crying shame. The consequential followup of her getting samoan dropped inside a Del Taco handicap stall would've been worth the wait.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
George Lopez is juiced to the gills and managed to procure one of Starbuck's finest Coffee Artists™. The result? Only her gynecologist and Jiffy Lube knows.
Ya know what. When you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a diabetic Snorlax, scoring women of this caliber probably needs to be celebrated. Congratulations to all these heroes. MORE: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [7]
I never have to worry about being injected into such an experience. I only reserve hotel rooms for Jerkmate marathon practice, not to dine and dash prostitutes.
Said thumbnail is at the 1:35 mark. Honestly it's not very eventful. But for a split second during Sandy's post-ass whooping call for a time out, she looks like Clint Eastwood with long hair and double-D tits. It's kinda erotic when u think about it.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself in front of a train if u missed a text or cheat because a piece of amethyst told her to. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
And by caught I mean encouraged to bareback strangers she met at the self-checkout lane in Target while her toadstool'd husband slap boxes his cocktail frank under dim lighting from another room. Sickening. more: [I] [II] [III] [IV]
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
The average American mall has less activity than a graveyard today, so maybe consider this some sort of historical moment instead? A time when window shopping for meat this discounted was considered a communal act. #nostalgia
Mariah's trip to Pumptown proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. spoiler: the microbiome on that couch is the final boss in Resident Evil 9.
cuck·old/ˈkək(ə)ld,ˈkəˌkōld/
→ (of a man) make (another man) a cuckold by having a sexual relationship with his wife. And in some rare cases, witness to a rare anaconda on human attack.
