Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an a-hole that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reese's peanut butter cups this weekend. E-books will be written about this.
You've heard that one before. But it's never been so accurate after seeing >five consecutive minutes of the world's most undesirable creatures run wild in their natural habitat. If anything at all proving that Valtrex should be a public company.
Getting your o-ring blown out within shouting distance of a stranger's hotel bed is a bold move. One of superiority tbh. Nancy and her 19 cats will think twice about filing a noise complaint at tomorrow's complimentary continental breakfast.
Imagine all the planning, text messages, sneaking around and poker face horse shit she went through only to find out Sanjeet has the endurance of a geriatric garden snail. You can almost pinpoint the moment of her final disappointment.
Cece Capella. If you're unaware, this girl single-handedly had a literal choke hold on the gooner scene up until around 2017. I wonder what she's up to tod... [oh]
A rare fourth stage does actually exist, but the video wasn't long enough to see if the barn door entrance was supplied with a proper dressing of WD-40 or not.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Advertise whatever sigma male, MGTOW LARP fantasy you want. But let me tell ya something... you just haven't lived a fulfilling life until walking in on your solid 3/10 getting shined up by the guy who considers Volkswagen a luxury vehicle.
30 seconds in and two things will become glaringly apparent: 1) We've been grossly mislead about Alabama's tourist attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these out have ejaculated to lawn mower maintenance videos.
Not even an ounce of hesitation either. That corn husk has definitely missed it's fair share of schedule maintenance intervals, but it's still running like the day it was bought. In other words: Mom's gonna be driving it until the wheels fall off.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. But the produce is usually fresh so... win?
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
Probably clickbait but it's 2026 and I've stopped assuming people aren't insane enough to rocket punch a fistful of their own family member's bush on a major highway. Dread it. Run from it. Degeneracy arrives all the same. And now it's here.
Gotta respect a man that can make a white girl stop in her tracks faster than a Target clearance sale by simply removing his Nike Dri-FITs, and hangin' brain.
"Uber rideshare is a service where everyday drivers use their own personal cars to give people rides. You request, track, and pay for a ride using a smartphone app. There is also an option called Uber Share where you split a car with strangers."
Imagine coming home during the witching hour only to find your significant other kneeling down, thorax-deep on Jamal's chopped cheese. (The Harlem original)
What's that old saying? Go big or go home? If it's in her ass she's all class? If your tip is brown shut it down? I don't know but someone probably just got a raise.
