No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
Some of these builds are outright unfathomable pieces of modern day art. Others, nothing you won't see after accidentally falling on the ground in the women's handicap bathroom stall at a California Starbucks. Or so I'm told.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
The more this behavior becomes mainstream, the harder it's going to be to come back from. Just ask the portfolios of any person that's posted on r/wallstreetbets.
5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
idk who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on date #1. Maintains a consistent diet of cabbage, and has absolutely no respect for the scotch guarded comforter you borrowed from gram. Are those wedding bells?
If you want attention in 2025, it's gonna take a lot more than hangin brain in the checkout line at Hot Topic. So take notes ladies, because it's this kind of work ethic that springboards you from "girl friend" to "girl wife". Respectfully of course.
"Sydney Sweeney is not currently engaged; she and her fiancé Jonathan Davino called off their wedding in March 2025. The couple, who were engaged in 2022 after reportedly dating since 2018, have decided to go their separate ways."
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
Where the fuck has she been practicing that technique and are they still allowed within 100 yards of Thanksgiving dinner? These 2 things seem to be intertwined.
Probably not the first time she's been fairly compensated for cosplaying as a communal nut pod, but it's gonna be the last time. Sponsored by Coca Cola?
Just when you think it's safe to trust again, some vagabond goes and makes unannounced deposits in your sausage mitten. Was it worth the beating Vladimir?
Not rly surprising from a girl that willingly chose the alias [shrOOms Q]. Moon lettuce & it's sibling psychedelics have led to many unscrupulous hole invasions.
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
Zero signs of protection. Decor looks like it was bought off a truck in a Best Buy parking lot. Booty hole is surprisingly void of bed bugs. Consider this a rare pull.
Your significant other gets curious about being on the receiving end of a 1-man firing squad. And before the next round can even be chambered, she's already hypothesizing how to make the end of your life look like an accident. Classic.
She surprisingly lacked the standard amount of lip filler that could inflate the tire of an industrial corn harvester, so the authenticity stood a chance. Then this guy's facial reactions start flaring & slowly took this one from "believable" to "autistic".
Sometimes I think about the amount of guttural toxic waste this man has used his dipstick to measure without protective gear. There's no way he's still alive.
