As fate would have it combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern tech yields impressive results. 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that you will spare her.
If we could go ahead and get an ID on her, that would be fantastic. Try to time it around the Black Friday sales on 10-packs of tube socks if possible. Appreciate it.
The amount of women that willingly get front loaded by permit-enforced meat missiles is actually surprising. What can be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has now been brought to public view.
The girl hyper nutting next to the Goosebumps soft covers should get an award or all-expenses paid trip to the Vagisil aisle at her local RiteAid or something idk.
You would think one day in the future a video of your significant other being railroaded in the shallow end of a pool human sized petri dish would return to haunt you. And if u do, u'd be right. She'll never show her face in Walmart again.
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (2035) I'm not sure these talents r beneficial. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts? i dunno man...
Using rectal sex as a vehicle to suffer more brain damage than a lifetime of galaxy gas + scrolling TikTok is a tad concerning. It may be time for reevaluation.
The real hero of today's adventure should be whatever surgeon sews that bag of expired beef back together in the last clip. It seems learning how to be a boxer through YouTube videos with a language barrier has consequences. More [here]
4 outta 5 physicians will advise against this behavior. But a lifetime of chronic digestive complications doesn't really seem to concern these prodigies. Big risks = more clout. And more clout = more fashionably retarded short form content.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
More dead ends behind those eyes than an apartment building in Silent Hill. But the box squeezes harder than a retard at a petting zoo so sacrifices will be made.
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
The misses is bad at keeping secrets, but good at reading self-help books. The teachings of Master Your Finances, And Shake It Up are clearly on display here.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
If there's anything these South American floozys do right with their 3600 baud Internet and flip phone cameras, it's this. Pack ur favorite anti viral and take notes.
Believe it or not, at one point this spaghetti sauce Elmer Fudd looking mf'er was finger blasting all kinds of college girl gooch on the regular. Honestly not the worst reason to eat that early 401k withdrawal penalty. More shenanigans [here]
