18 semesters of Namibian dance theory paid, and this is how you return the favor to ur parents, Becky? u r a disgrace to the once great town of Ballbag, Nebraska.
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Imagine all the planning, text messages, sneaking around and poker face horse shit she went through only to find out Sanjeet has the endurance of a geriatric garden snail. You can almost pinpoint the moment of her final disappointment.
The misses is bad at keeping secrets, but good at reading self-help books. The teachings of Master Your Finances, And Shake It Up are clearly on display here.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
Velma Gigglebush may look like a non-threat, but don't let it fool you. Behind those bifocals and semi-sanitized vajeen exists a girl that would power fuck your boyfriend/husband/mazda miata if given 3 consecutive unsupervised mins alone.
Tinder is integrating AI to reduce "swipe fatigue" and enhance user experience through personalized matching and improved safety. Key features will include "Chemistry" (AI-driven daily recommendations based on persona/photo analysis)
As fate would have it combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern tech yields impressive results. 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that you will spare her.
The amount of women that willingly get front loaded by permit-enforced meat missiles is actually surprising. What can be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has now been brought to public view.
Seems nice. The type that'd cook artisanal Beefaroni on the 1st date or volunteer a BJ when ur TikTok gets 20 views. Men want that. They rly do. But not like this.
Cece Capella. If you're unaware, this girl single-handedly had a literal choke hold on the gooner scene up until around 2017. I wonder what she's up to tod... [oh]
Judging by the shades of mold growing under her, it looks like they were at the "practice stage" long before the camera ever got turned on. Imagine the smell[z].
Those tits have gone through more transformations than Matt Hardy's wrestling career over the years. Literally 1.5 decades of confusion. Believe it or not she still offers access to them for less than the cost of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich.
Melody Marks. Long time pornstar turned JAV icon hit Japan like a tornado, fucking everything with a pulse. Now she moonlights as some sorta [findom lesbian online] In other words; gaijin have been in shambles ever since [more]
Getting your o-ring blown out within shouting distance of a stranger's hotel bed is a bold move. One of superiority tbh. Nancy and her 19 cats will think twice about filing a noise complaint at tomorrow's complimentary continental breakfast.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. But the produce is usually fresh so... win?
The title may be bs, but at least it's not A.I. An unfortunate level of acceptance our dystopian future has waiting for us when it comes to waxin the carrot. Almost as depressing as that spine tattoo acting as a roadmap to her Hersey Kiss faucet.
In what must be the lowest effort "muh content!" video of the fucking year, this pair of cornballs pull off Twitch-levels of cringe. office_noise.mp3 has been put on notice. You know it's bad when Bangladeshi comments are calling you boring lul
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your digestive system, you have to assume this Fiona is hovering somewhere in between "girl next door" and "super walmart cashier". Any takers?
What's that old saying? Go big or go home? If it's in her ass she's all class? If your tip is brown shut it down? I don't know but someone probably just got a raise.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an a-hole that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reese's peanut butter cups this weekend. E-books will be written about this.
